Several people have recommended this sci-fi flick to me recently so, despite the fact I don’t really like Christian Bale, I decided to give it a try. I watched it about a week ago, but I haven’t gotten the review up until now because I’ve been trying to figure out what to do. You see, I thought this movie was outrageously awful. Laughably bad, in fact. But the problem is, I wanna be liked, and you guys all liked this movie! And if I call it “laughable,” you are going to scowl at me! Not to mention the random blog readers who will stumble on this review, get mad that I didn’t like their most favorite-est movie in the whole wide world, and then be mean in the comments. Please! Don’t be mean just because I didn’t like your favorite movie!
Cuz guys? This movie is RIDICULOUS! That whole thing with the puppy! You LIKED that whole thing with the puppy? Wait, hold on a sec — let me do the review part of this first and then I’ll make fun of you guys and your sappy puppy-loving hearts of moosh.
Whoa, “sappy puppy-loving hearts of moosh”? I take it back — you go ahead and be as mean as you want in the comments. I completely deserve it.
[NOTE: I AM KIDDING. Apparently, using the phrase “sappy puppy-loving hearts of moosh” isn’t enough to clue you guys into the fact this is MEANT TO BE FACETIOUS because I’m getting hammered with comments from people who are acting just insanely irrational. This blog is SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY — it’s not supposed to incite you to rage. This is my opinion and if you don’t agree with it, you can either calmly tell me why, or you can go fume on your own time. In case I’m not making this clear enough: If you make comments that consist merely of vitriol and nastiness instead of reasoned argument as to why you disagree with me, THEY WILL BE DELETED from this post.]
Okay, so, plot story short: It’s the future, several years after World War III nearly destroyed mankind. Convinced that all wars are caused by emotions — passion, jealousy, anger, love, etc. — the government in charge of the remaining humans has decided all its residents must take a drug that will completely eliminate their ability to “feel.”
Incidentally, the government is the “Tetragrammatons,” the colony is named “Libria,” and the drug is called “Prozium.” Golly, someone took Latin 101 in college!
Of course, just filming a bunch of automatons going about their days wouldn’t be very entertaining, so they throw in a rebel faction who have refused to take the medications and are starting to try to hoard things like books, art, and music (these items have been banned, of course, because appreciation of art is inherently an emotional thing, and emotions are illegal). Fighting against these rebels are a group of soldiers known as Clerics, most of which have clearly seen The Matrix a few too many times. (I do have to confess the gun-kata stuff was kinda cool, though.)
The best Cleric in Libria is John Preston, Christian Bale’s character. In the beginning, he proves to us his loyalty to the Tetragrammatons by killing his own partner (Sean Bean, we hardly knew ye!) after catching him with a book of William Butler Yeats poems in his pocket. Because as any English major can attest, Yeats does nothing but drive men to madness — you might as well stick a nuclear warhead in your pants, dude. (Is that a nuclear warhead in your pants or are you just . . .)
Unfortunately for John, he soon meets a gorgeous “sense offender” (what the rebels are called — coincidentally also what I call my husband a few hours after he’s eaten a bean burrito. . .), and is so moved by her passion he decides to stop taking Prozium himself. It doesn’t take long before Preston’s new partner (Taye Diggs) starts to get suspicious, though, and the next thing he knows, John finds himself teaming up with the rebels — the very men and women he’s been sentencing to death for years.
Commence all hell breaking loose.
Now for my problems with this stinker. First of all, if it’s so vitally important to the government that absolutely nobody feel any emotion whatsoever — that is, if they truly believe even one feeling person can completely destroy the rest of mankind — then why isn’t taking Prozium mandatory? I mean, it IS mandatory — if you get caught not taking it, they send you to the incinerator — but why don’t they just make it really hard NOT to take it? The world in this movie is filled with tech, and yet, in order to take the multiple required doses of Prozium per day, each person must stop what they’re doing, pull out a vial of the stuff, and inject it into themselves. This makes no sense — we have implants that automatically administer drugs now (insulin pumps, nicotine patches, e.g.), and it’s not even the future yet! What gives on that one?
Second irritation: Aforementioned puppy scene. Seriously? The scenes with the puppy were over-the-top with the cutesy — they didn’t fit into this movie at all. I would’ve been willing to go along with it more had the puppy NOT be cute, actually. Make it a mangy mutt he runs into while out in The Nethers, and I’m all over it. But having the puppy be so insanely adorable it sends Preston into paroxysms of goo-goo-gah-gah kind of made me wanna hurl.
Third irritation: Why are there constantly little motivational videos playing all over the place in Libria? What’s the purpose of motivational videos when your populace cannot be motivated? “Motivated” is not typically a word that goes with “sedated,” right? I mean, unless that sedative is alcohol, of course, in which case you can certainly become highly motivated to do really stupid things like pull your pants down in public (for example). But if anything’s likely to cause World War IV, it’s going to be a bunch of people stumbling around mooning everybody they encounter (I’ve seen Braveheart, I know the perils of mass moonings), so motivation of that nature can’t be the explanation on this one.
My fourth irritation had to do with The Father, but I can’t tell you what it was because it’ll spoil a plot element, and even though all movie reviews spoil SOME plot elements by their very nature (sorry to blow the puppy thing for ya, for example, but I think forewarned is forearmed on that one anyway), I do try not to ruin the biggies for you guys.
Fifth irritation: Everything else in this movie. And also, everything ELSE in this movie.
Now, problems and criticisms aside, I will confess that I did kind of enjoy this flick. It’s a BAD MOVIE, but it’s not without some entertainment value, and it does make a decent-enough stab at being “thoughty” with all the stuff about freedom of opinion vs. totalitarianism.
That said, I’m now kind of afraid to watch Reign of Fire, the other Christian Bale movie my dedicated (and often delightfully silly) readers have recommended in the comments of previous posts. Nevertheless, it’s set to show up from Netflix next week, so watch for a review of it coming soon. After all, it does involve dragons, so how bad can it be?
Oh wait. . . Heh.
[Netflix me | Buy me
Genre: Science Fiction
Cast: Xtian Bale, Taye Diggs, Sean Bean, Emily Watson
Tags: Science Fiction
megwood.wordpress.com 
February 2, 2008 at 6:10 am |
Well, Meg…you can’t say you weren’t warned about this one.
I thought for sure the puppy in the trunk scene would have changed the way you felt about Christian Bale. The unintentional hilarity of the scene, coupled with Bale’s amazing range as he’s just torn by the terrible conflict set up for him by that crack writing staff, together with the soul-crushing cuteness of the puppy itself…it’s truly a bad movie moment for the ages.
You have to admit, though…Equilibrium sure looked cool, though, didn’t it? With the Gun-Fu, and the cutting-edge future fascist leather duds, impeccable production and art design, large-caliber weaponry for the fanboys…it did Euro-trash sci-fi like no one’s business, I tell ya.
This flick is full of missed irony…like you point out, everyone has to shoot themselves up, rather than say, brush with minty fresh goverment-spiked toothpaste every day. Then there’s the dreaded 24-like failure of the Cleric system to properly vet their own hiring practices (Sean Bean & Yates, see also: every Mission Impossible film) – we’re talking textbook dystopia here.
Was the mouth thing really prominent in this movie?
February 2, 2008 at 1:46 pm |
Okay, I’m embarrassed and validated at the same time! How can that be, you say? I don’t know, but I can do lots of things I don’t understand! I don’t even REMEMBER a puppy in this movie! All I remember well is the Matrix-y looking fighting. Meg, the way you describe this movie does make it sound awful, and that’s why I’m kind of embarrassed that I thought I had liked it. But you also drew that Matrix parallel, which I had noticed, so I also feel validated.
Trip, while I agree that “Equilibrium” probably wasn’t that great a movie, I still say I found the “Matrix” rather disappointing. At first, I loved the concept, but when the 2nd part was so annoying (to me), I had no real motivation to see the 3rd one. I also thought that both Keanu Reaves and Carrie Ann Moss were particularly unattractive! Now as far as “Equilibrium” goes, I may have to see it AGAIN; I don’t think I knew Taye Diggs, or Sean Bean, for that matter, when I saw it, but I like them now.
There, Meg, now one of your silliEST readers has attempted to take some of the heat off you! Please don’t ever be afraid to hate movies, or mock them – it’s one of your best things! And you’re usually (although NOT ALWAYS) right.
Love, Liz
February 2, 2008 at 6:13 pm |
Liz – the trick to enjoying the Matrix movies is to not treat them like Shakespeare, which they certainly are not, but rather as big loud expensive pieces of comic book eye candy. As such, it’s one of those works that will be referenced for years to come as representative of sci-fi for their era. It’s Metropolis for dot-com computer nerds. Plus it’s got guns and chop-socky and stuff blows up real purty.
February 2, 2008 at 8:12 pm |
Trip, your comments about the puppy scene just totally cracked me up. Oh man, I’m dyin’. But yeah, the one thing the movie DOES accomplish is a very good look. Fans of the Matrix will either love it because it’s so visually similar, or hate it because it’s such an obvious rip-off. I did think it was fun to watch, and also EXTREMELY fun to pick on. A good combo.
As for the Matrix itself, I was completely stunned by the first movie — you are so right that it’s one of those films that will be referenced forever. Stylistically, we’d never seen anything like it when that movie first came out, and the number of times it’s been mimicked since tells you everything you need to know about its relevance. But plot-wise, I thought it was a crushing disappointment. I was bored to death by the second one, and I’ve never even bothered with the third. Great look, great effects, great choreography — but what a major downer they didn’t have better writers at the helm.
When will they learn they need to send US the scripts first?? God.
I love Carrie Anne Moss, btw, Liz. She’s a blast in “Fido,” which is an extremely entertaining zombie movie (sort of a satire/spoof of the genre, but also very sweet and funny). There’s a woman who rides my bus every day who looks exactly like Moss (as well as a young lady who looks just like Darlene from “Rosanne,” and an elderly woman who is the spitting image of Herman Munster — I call my bus the Doppleganger Express, for obvious reasons). And I felt like Keanu Reeves was finally in his element in The Matrix as well. It’s one of the few movies where I was actually able to sort of settle into him a bit — not being startled, as I so often am, by his astonishingly bad acting abilities.
February 3, 2008 at 1:22 am |
Carrie Ann Moss was also in “Memento,” which I LOVED, and she was rather good in that. I also loved “Fido” – which I saw purely on YOUR recommendation – but I totally forgot that it was her in that. BTW, I also saw “Undead” (twice, because I forgot that I had already seen it once), and wasn’t nearly as impressed with it as you were.
I guess my pattern seems to be that if I don’t like something, and find it boring, I forget about it. Only if it’s super good, or super bad does it leave a lasting impression.
I’m also right with you on “The Matrix.” I) fascinating concept II) boring and annoying, and III) didn’t bother. Sorry, Trip. I was also underwhelmed by the original “Star Wars” movies – so much so that when they made the other 3, in recent years, I didn’t bother with them either! Give me “Star Trek” any day – I love them all (yes, even “Deep Space 9,” and yes, even when “Enterprise” got stupid).
February 3, 2008 at 2:02 am |
When I signed up for Netflix, I put approximately 1000 movies in my queue and forgot all about them. So sometimes when they arrive in the mail, I’m wondering what the heck I was thinking. In this case, it might have been that I liked Christian Bale in American Psycho. Anyway, as usual my Netflix envelopes sat around for about 3 months but instead of forcing myself to watch to find out why I added it in the first place I just sent it back. Now I’m torn between wanting to see what you guys are talking about and feeling glad I dodged a bad movie bullet!
I have loved Keanu Reeves since I saw Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure at age 15. I loved it because I was able to escape our small town by riding with my dad and sister to a slightly bigger town to see an actual movie. In a theater. And of course Keanu is cute. With long hair. You have no idea how important that is unless you live in a town full of farmers. So on the strength of my Keanu love I went to see the Matrix. I thought Keanu was still hot and the special effects pretty cool. And the story was very deep in the way only bad sci fi can be. I’m pretty sure I Netflixed Matrix 2 & 3. I remember 2 being totally boring and don’t remembered 3 at all. I really can’t get into sci fi any more. Unless it’s Serenity. Joss Whedon Rules!
February 3, 2008 at 3:53 am |
Alright, I’ve gotta step in here and defend the puppy scene (which I love). I think the point of the scene was to help you understand how Christian Bale’s character was feeling — *feeling*. They found the cutest puppy in the entire world because they needed you to be flooded with emotions the way the character was after so long of not feeling anything. Apparently, Meg, there was certainly a flood of emotions on your part, just not the type the were going for. 🙂
I actually found the puppy scene quite a bit more 1.) believable, and 2.) well-played than the final fight scene. I mean, *that* was cheesy.
February 3, 2008 at 4:51 am |
Alas, when Preston turned around and KILLED FOUR PEOPLE in order to protect the puppy, that kind of put a damper on the whole “flood of emotions” thing for me! 🙂
Also, I definitely think that scene would’ve worked a lot better for me had the puppy NOT looked so perfectly healthy, clean, and pure-bred. I just instinctively feel more sympathy for strays. I mean, you know how Angelina Jolie said she didn’t have as much feeling for Shiloh because Shiloh had always lived a life of privilege and didn’t have anything to overcome? That puppy was a Shiloh, and I think I would’ve been more moved by a Zahara, you dig?
You are so right about that final scene, though — that was a fight scene with cheese, extra-cheese, cheese built into the crust, and a side of melted cheese for dipping! Chee-ZAH! Loved it! 🙂
February 3, 2008 at 5:01 am |
Oh my god, Jessie! I just clicked on your name to check out your web site, and believe it or not, I was just drooling over your stuff at Etsy three days ago, completely randomly! How totally weird! I had gotten there from somewhere else — some other site I read where they mentioned your board game coasters. I’ve been contemplating the Scrabble ones as a Mom’s Day gift (me and Mom play a lot of Scrabble!), and this coincidence is just WAY too much to ignore. Clearly I am meant to own them. I am submitting my order RIGHT NOW!
Coolest stuff EVER, by the way. I love the recycled necktie stuff too. You’re a recycling genius!!! Can’t wait to see my coasters! YAY YAY YAY!
February 3, 2008 at 7:59 am |
OK, the film is somewhat overtly ponderous at times – but Sean Bean’s performance as Partidge was SPELLBINDING – the scene where he is caught reading the forbidden contraband book of William Butler Yeats poetry and does the quotation from the book – “I but being poor, have only my dreams, so tread softly, because you tread upon my dreams”. The phrasing, shading and delivery of Sean Bean’s was so memorable. Bean is a classically trained Shakespearean actor – he was awarded a full ride scholarship to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London – they get 11,000 applicants each year and only accept 40 students – they give only 2 scholarships each year – and Sean Bean was awarded that scholarship. He graduated with highest honors from RADA, winning award for his performance in the graduation play “Waiting for Godot” and also an award for fencing. Sean Bean went on to perform at Royal Shakespeare Company.
I thought his performance as Partridge was the best thing in Equilibrium. Don’t be too hard on this film – it was filmed on a very low budget, however the production values and the cast was excellent. I had some problems with the script – but I thought the director did a decent job.
OK, it’s not on my Top Ten list – but it isn’t the potboiler piece of crap you reviwed it as. If you want to see REALLY BAD futuristic science fiction movie then “Battlestar Gallactica” is a real turkey.
The cast of “Equilibrium” was very good although the film is flawed. I loved Emily Watson, Christian Bale and Taye Diggs – plus Sean Bean was just brilliant – although he only has about 20 minutes of screen time. Dang! Why does Sean Bean always seem to get killed off in most of the films he makes? Well at least in this film he was not typecast as the baddie, psychopath nutjob villian – which is nearly the ONLY parts he gets in the Hollywood studio movies. Lord of the Rings was the exception to the rule where he gets cast in a really good role, where he isn’t playing a nutter, pscyho, creep-a-zoid.
Give the film a second chance and don’t take this reviewer literally. It isn’t the piece of ludicrous crap the reviewer alleges it to be.
February 3, 2008 at 6:05 pm |
Concur on Carrie-Anne Moss. She doesn’t appear enough on my TV these days. It’s unfortunate that in Red Planet she spent the entire movie floating in orbit above Mars while Val, Don, and the boys all got to do the cool stuff on the surface. Meta question: why do movies about Mars suck?
I must confess that I did make a serious attempt to follow Enterprise after the painful death of Firefly, but I, too, had to forcefully evict it from my DVR like a narc at a biker rally.
I loved the concept of Star Trek: The Early Years, with human technology not yet up to snuff, and being small-time players on the universe’s stage. Unfortunately, it ended up collapsing under the weight of its own absurdity.
They spent, like, the first three episodes gingerly stepping around the crazy and scary transporter for fear of losing their souls like South Pacific tribesmen did around cameras. But the instant the crew got into a tough spot, they turned to the magic molecule beamer like a George Foreman grill at halftime. MEH.
I LOL’ed at “Chee-ZAH” – is that a playful invocation of Davey Jones’ speech patterns? Somehow that-AH makes me laugh every time he does that.
February 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm |
I couldn’t get past the Enterprise THEME SONG, let alone the rest of the show. I only lasted two episodes, despite my adoration for all things Scott Bakula.
I still think the next Star Trek TV series should be set in Starfleet Academy. It could be like “Ender’s Game” meets “Beverly Hills: 90210.” Think of the demographics that combo could reach! Somebody get Joss Whedon on the phone!
Why DO all Mars movies suck? That’s so true, and yet so bizarre. Well, wait, I kind of liked “Total Recall,” I will confess. But damn, was “Red Planet” ever a total stinker!
February 4, 2008 at 2:08 am |
I totally hear you on Sean Bean, fifi — he’s a great actor, and I keep waiting for him to really make it big and it keeps not happening. What’s the deal with that? Fooey. You’re right too that he’s almost always cast as the bad guy, or the arrogant or weak guy (“Ronin,” e.g., and he wasn’t exactly a heroic good guy in “Lord of the Rings” either, though his part in that film was very complex and I thought he handled it utterly brilliantly). I’d love to see him do something sweet for a change. Not, like, Meg Ryan sweet. But something a little on the “nice” side!
Also I don’t think I called Equilibrium “crap.” I did say it was ludicrous — you’ve got me there — but also that I found it entertaining and fun to watch. I save the word “crap” for movies that are total stinkers, and this one isn’t a total stinker (I actually put the word “Crap” as a tag when I have deemed a movie such, by the way). It’s bad, but still worth watching if you’re a fan of SF movies or stuff like “The Matrix.”
In other words, please ignore fifi’s suggestion that you ignore ME. Merci buckets.
February 4, 2008 at 5:13 am |
Prediction: Christian Bale will enter your “boyfriend” list in 2008. I don’t know how you can’t like this guy as an actor! For God’s sake, I’m a married straight guy and he has a brooding intensity that almost makes me want to explore the love that dares not speak its name. Check out “Reign of Fire”– definitely a good guilty pleasure movie, and if you want a little bit of background, check out “Newsies” for the child-actor version of Bale. With his stellar performance in “Batman Begins” as well as “The Prestige”, I can’t wait for “The Dark Knight,” and I predict that is when he will finally become your boyfriend of the week.
As for the movie, it was enjoyable popcorn (at home, that is– no one admit to seeing this in any theatre) escapism, and fair for that. Ditto on the super-cheesy and ridiculous end sequence, and ditto on Sean Bean making us all remember what real acting is.
February 4, 2008 at 5:07 pm |
I am excited to see “The Dark Knight,” but not because of Christian “Mouthful of Pennies” Bale. I loved “Batman Begins” more in spite of him than because of him. I definitely recognize that Bale is talented, you guys — I really, really do! It’s this whole “he’s so gorgeous he makes me want to rip my clothes off” thing I just don’t get.
Actually, now that I think about it, I think the reason I liked “The Dark Knight” had a lot more to do with Michael Caine than anything else. Which is the same reason I liked “The Prestige” (although, to be honest, I didn’t really like “The Prestige” — *duck*). I’ve been madly in love with Michael Caine since he fell off the boat and got back on completely dry in “Jaws 4: The Revenge.” My hero!
In any case, Spence, I predict that your prediction is wrong. However, stranger things have happened. After all, I did make Jimmy Berluti from “The Practice” a Boyfriend once! 🙂
Also, “popcorn escapism” is so right — that’s exactly what “Equilibrium” was. Fun, but silly. A good combo every now and again.
February 4, 2008 at 5:32 pm |
Attention, all Sean Bean fans (of which I am one)! He played a really good guy in “North Country” – the one starring Charlize Theron, about the first sexual harassment civil suit. I thought it was a pretty good movie. Sean Bean played Frances McDormand’s husband, and eventually, her interpreter, when she came down with … I won’t say, as it was handled rather well, and some of you may want to see it.
When I first saw LOTR, I didn’t know Sean Bean OR Viggo Mortensen … so I spent most of the movie not able to tell ONE FROM THE OTHER! (Give me a small break here – they both had long hair and beards, were both the same species – human – amidst a mob of Orcs, Elves, Hobbits, and a Troll!) Now, of course, I can recognize them, and explain to my husband that the lead in “A History of Violence” was “Aragorn,” etc.
Meg, you were the one to draw our attention to the fact that he had actually changed the spelling of his name to “Sean” so it would look better next to “Bean!” Hmmm. I’ll never be sure of that …
February 4, 2008 at 6:10 pm |
I have to agree with Spencer.Christian Bale is so hot he makes my tv melt.I love him in anything.I can’t wait for The Dark Night.I think it will be awesome.
February 4, 2008 at 6:17 pm |
Hah, Liz — I had forgotten about the name thing. I DO still call him “Seen Bean” in my head sometimes, though. 🙂
February 4, 2008 at 6:41 pm |
OMG! I’VE SEEN THIS MOVIE! AND I’M YELLING BECAUSE UNTIL I READ THIS REVIEW I HAD TOTALLY BLOCKED IT OUT OF MY MEMORY!
Yes, it was THAT bad. I still remember every painful line of City of Angels, but I had managed to completely obliterate the 107 minutes of my life spent watching Equilibrium.
And now it’s all rushing back. That’s for that, Meg.
p.s. Reign of Fire is still made of awesome. I promise.
February 4, 2008 at 9:21 pm |
I haven’t commented on Equilibrium because even though I saw it long ago I can’t remember much of what happens. But, it had Bale and Bean (2 of my fav actors) and looked interesting so I rather liked it. Often I give up trying to follow the plot of a movie like that because they seem to make up the rules as they go along.
While most of the female population was swooning over Aragorn, I found him rather dull and instead was fixated on Boromir. The scene of him getting shot full of arrows still makes me gasp. (I can’t really spoil LOTR since everyone must have seen it by now!)
A friend and I have this little joke because the actor who played the captain on “Titanic” was also Theoden on LOTR and the dad on “Wimbledon”. So now we just identify the acotr as “the captain of the Titanic”.
I’m getting a chuckle that so many people are expressing their love for “Reign of Fire”. I didn’t expect such a response from just mentioned it.
February 5, 2008 at 7:08 pm |
gotta love the kung-fu pistols of this equilibrium, then there’s a lot of hidden meaning to look for as well
February 7, 2008 at 8:57 pm |
*le sigh* I adore Sean Bean. And I’m afraid I like Christian Bale. And worse, I liked Equilibrium, although I do have to agree that there are some SERIOUSLY hokey parts. Like the puppy. But the scene with the phonograph and the Beethoven was great, especially since I rant occasionally about how tired I am of people saying that classical music is unemotional and outdated yadda yadda. This is another one of those movies my brother foisted off on me, along with V for Vendetta, that I would never have watched on my own but enjoyed. The gunfighting stuff was just ridiculously cool, which brings me to the Matrix thing.
First Matrix movie: Incredible. Amazing. Mind-blowing. I love Keanu’s outfits. Carrie Ann Moss could have led me to the underworld in a heartbeat and I’m straight. The scene in the lobby was poetry.
Second Matrix movie: I had such high hopes, such dreams. So I went to the opening with my brother, things were going meh and then came the Rave Scene. I have this thing about completely gratuitous violence and sex and all I can say is THERE WAS NO REASON FOR THAT WHOLE SCENE TO BE INCLUDED. So yes, there I was, sitting next to my younger brother watching crap sex that made no difference in any of the rest of the movie, which sucked. Except I liked the French guy.
Third Matrix movie: I don’t even know why I bothered. The plot made NO sense and the only cool thing was the character played by… Jet Li, I think. Otherwise, what??? And the whole Messiah symbolism thing as Neo is carried away by the robots? Um, I think we caught the idea in the first movie, thanks.
Whew, okay, sorry about that. The Matrix 2 and 3 movies just …. AGH! That’s all I can really say. And thusly Equilibrium, gigglish as it was in places, just can’t compete with the crapitude that came after the first Matrix.
February 7, 2008 at 8:58 pm |
Junk, I didn’t mean for that to be so long or ranty! *looks sheepish* Sorry!
February 7, 2008 at 10:32 pm |
Melinda – I’m totally with you on your Matrix trilogy rant 😉
February 8, 2008 at 3:48 am |
Melinda, this is one site where you NEVER have to apologize for being either long OR ranty. If you did, I’d spent 3/4ths of my time here saying I was sorry myself! 🙂
Love,
The Management
February 8, 2008 at 1:48 pm |
The only reason I liked Matrix 2 & 3 is because my mother’s former boss had a small role in both movies, he was part of the “Governing Board”.
February 8, 2008 at 4:17 pm |
Okay, LISTEN UP COMMENTERS: I’m making it official!
This post is encouraging too many morons to add comments in which they have nothing useful or interesting to say other than that they think I’m an idiot (or worse) who doesn’t know a work of cinematic genius when I see one. I don’t have the patience for people who get so irrationally angry just because I disagreed with them about their most favorite-est movie in the world.
Seriously — if you can’t be polite and calm here, I WILL DELETE YOUR COMMENT.
If you want your opinion heard, act like a grown-up and it will be. Can’t handle it, go be a stinkpot somewhere else.
February 8, 2008 at 5:39 pm |
Hey Meg, this must be getting worse everywhere or something because Yarn Harlot (I knit) just posted about the same thing… more or less. I know the link is kinda long, but you’re not alone:
http://www.yarnharlot.ca/blog/archives/2008/02/07/big_snow_big_day_big_question.html
Alisa, okay, that is totally cool and a good reason to not ritualistically burn the movies! Oh yeah, and a quick note, the thing with going to the theater with brother and getting hit with a gratuitous sex scene happened with Underworld 2! Why?!?!
February 8, 2008 at 5:57 pm |
Yes, Yarn Harlot hits the nail right on the head there — thanks for that, Meilnda! But, it’s not actually getting worse — it’s really always been this way. I’ve gotten hate mail about the Boyfriend site from day one (over 10 years ago!). And it always amazes me that people will sit down and take the time to draft something like that. Like, dudes — if you don’t like my taste in movies or actors or whatever, why not just click the Close button and move onto the next site? It’s really not that complicated!
The biggest problem I’ve always had, though, is with people who just drop in to read a single post or Boyfriend write-up and then SPAZ OUT because they actually think I’m being SERIOUS. Guys! I’m trying to be FUNNY!
I once had to take down a write-up on Bam Margera once because I started getting DEATH THREATS after kind of poking fun of both him (and myself!), and I just couldn’t take it anymore. If those same people had taken ten minutes to read more of my site, they would’ve realized it was meant to be humorous and light and probably wouldn’t have reacted with so much hatred and nastiness.
And the same problem is now happening here on the blog. If you look at the movies I’ve reviewed, you KNOW I’m not trying to be a “serious” film reviewer! I watch lots of CRAP! No serious film reviewer watches as much crap as I watch — and LOVES as much crap as I love! I can’t be any more clear about this!
So, anyway, no more trolls allowed in the comments. If all you want to say is that you hate my site and think I’m an idiot, do me the ultimate diss and just stop reading my site altogether. Trust me — I watch the site stats and I’ll know my readership has gone down. You’ll make your point. And the rest of us will have more fun here without you.
February 9, 2008 at 1:11 am |
WOW! I had no idea the comments were getting so nasty! I’m really loving this forum thing, and the comments I get to see seem quite reasonable, even when they disagree with mine. In fact, that’s part of what I like about this whole thing: an exchange of ideas and opinions about something we all enjoy! I hope we can keep it a “cyber community,” and avoid the hate mail.
February 11, 2008 at 4:24 pm |
gotta respect the originality of Equilibrium’s “gun-fu”, plus Bale is a great actor of course
February 11, 2008 at 8:54 pm |
Meg – It just occured to me the other day that I believe I started reading your Boyfriend blog around 10yrs ago. I read about it in a Time Magazine artical. If I remember correctly it was about the time that all the Internet co. really started to crash and “ordinary” people were getting into the whole internet “craze”.
I started reading the blog and haven’t stopped. 🙂 The thing I love about both your sites now is they are your opinions. They’re not sugar coated opinions, your like what you like and you think it great when someone disagrees w/you. Hint, Hint…..ME LOL
Keep up the GREAT work!!
February 11, 2008 at 8:58 pm |
I was in “Time Magazine”? How come nobody told ME about that?!
I did know I was in Yahoo Magazine, Mademoiselle, and Elle Canada. Ooh, and I think one other, but I can’t remember what it was now (another chick mag, though). Time, though! I’m impressed! With myself!
I’ll have to wield my librarian skills and see if I can find this. Are you sure it was Time? Did you read Yahoo, Mademoiselle, or Elle Canada back then? If so, maybe it was one of those instead?
p.s. You’re nice. Me like you. You stay. 🙂
February 11, 2008 at 9:04 pm |
I really want to say it was Time Magazine, because the only time I really read magazines is when I’m at the doctor’s office. 🙂 The article had a list of website that were entertaining and to keep an eye-out on.
February 11, 2008 at 9:12 pm |
Sweet! I’ll have to see if I can track that down somehow!
February 11, 2008 at 9:22 pm |
It may have been Newsweek????
February 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm |
This is NOT the article I was talking about, but I thought you might find it interesting.
http://eroticawithsoul.blogspot.com/2007/11/ive-found-my-soulmate-and-her-name-is.html
February 11, 2008 at 9:41 pm |
Check out the comments on that post, Alisa! I already done seen dat one. I always forget to ego-surf, but do try to do it at least once a year so I can thank people who took the time to mention me on their blogs/sites. Plus, it’s fun seeing what people think, especially since the ones who LIKE my site are usually really funny and nice themselves! 🙂
February 12, 2008 at 6:45 pm |
Meg, I know your prob. thinks I’m nuts, but I swear I saw your website in either the Time Mag. or Newsweek.
Have you found anything yet?
February 12, 2008 at 8:48 pm |
Nope, don’t think you’re nuts at all, because it really WAS making the rounds 8 or 9 or so years ago in publications, as I mentioned. I haven’t been able to find it in either, but I don’t have access to print copies, just library databases, and if it was in a feature that didn’t get indexed, OR they got the name of the site wrong, or my name wrong (which happened more than once in the other publications), it just may not be findable. I totally believe you, though! And even though it was years ago, I’m still excited to hear about it! 🙂
February 23, 2008 at 1:56 am |
Fuckin’ faggot. I dont give a shit what the fuck you say. Delete this. I dont fuckin’ care. Mother fuckin’ bitch ass cunt face. Christian Bale is a great actor and you’re a worthless piece of shit worthy of dying a most painful death. Fuckass.
February 23, 2008 at 3:37 am |
Oh my god! Well, I can’t delete THAT, Anon — I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard and so long since. . . Well, hell, frankly I can’t remember a time I’ve laughed so hard and so long.
Oh man, oh sorry, I’d love to say more to you but I’m afraid I have to go email your mother. . .
February 23, 2008 at 3:39 am |
Follow-up comment to the intelligent people who read my blog: see what I mean? What is it about this movie and the morons who love it SO MUCH they get THAT ANGRY when someone disagrees with them? It’s totally the weirdest thing ever!
Plus, talk about irony! This movie is about how passionate emotion is what fuels violence and hatred. And this movie’s fans? Love it so passionately they’re sending me DEATH THREATS! You just gotta laugh at that!
I wonder if Roger Ebert ever has this problem. . .
December 2, 2009 at 7:21 pm |
You are right. The movie is cheesy, or whatever you call it. The storylines don’t make sense.
December 2, 2009 at 7:49 pm |
Although there may be rationalizations for the Prozium stuff – maybe the stuff must be injected, maybe the dose must be set individually and has no relation to how much one drinks – the political system stays a flat caricature. Where does Libria’s GNP come from anyway if half of them shoo the others around? What is their tech level? Preston’s 162 to 0.1 score with the Gunkata is also impossible. Although Gunkata is certainly a nice idea, his opponents just stand in line to be slaughtered.
(Did you note the globe with its strange geography? South America is loose, half of North America and Africa are gone. WTF?)
Puppy scene … Eek. That man is a KILLER, he breaks two arm bones before his first breakfast, has presumably slaughtered thousands of rebels, and now.. okay, he’s feeling sympathy for them, but… he’s making a moronic fool of himself because of some dirty fleabags. Eugh. It’s the chick moment that must go into every movie it seems, like the SS doctor caring about teh poor civilians in WW2 movies. Also, his fellow clerics seem to be rather blind about this suspicious behaviour.
Why does the movie feel good then? I think it works primarily through the aesthetics. The starting scene is pretty good. A similar movie was The Final Cut where a somewhat intriguing idea was made into a preposterous plot, but still made sort of an interesting movie.
There may be some sort of deep resonance too where the Prozium details aren’t too important and the symbolism is that Preston is a cleric hunting sinners, heretics, Forbidden Fruits.
The music is pretty good, too.
February 26, 2010 at 7:57 pm |
I was stumbling and ran across ‘The Top 50 Dystopian Movies’ and Equilibrium sounded really cool, so started to watch it. WHOO BOY DOGGIES, it’s got Batman and Boromir! Wait, Boromir seems like he’s hiding something… OH NOES BATMAN IS EVIL!
That opening scene where whats his face, you know… Batman, breaks down the door and lands dramatically in the room full of ‘sense offenders’ and mows everybody down in style just made me want to shout AAAWWWW… there went my hopes for this movie. And that opening scene, with the den of art lovers hiding in the abandoned building, hoarding their art like a bunch of junkies, just didn’t jibe… I mean, is this what the sense offenders do all day, hang out in the husks of old buildings with their contraband art? Just hang out and look at it all day?
Anyway, I’m at the part where Preston is being interrogated in this room with a weird globe. What’s up with that globe? I thought it was a reversed version of the world at first, until I noticed that the Alaskan Aleutian isles were correct, but WTF is South America doing in the middle of the Atlantic? And Hawaii is just a tad too big, only by about 10 gazillion times. Ok, I won’t ask, maybe the movie explains how in the early 21st century this world wide geographic shift occurred. Or maybe it’s an alternate version of reality.
Anyway, I suspect that Batman is going to turn good in the end. After all, they burned his wife at the stake for loving him (that’s what I suspect, I haven’t seen past that interrogation scene) and he and Boromir will probably team up, with one or both of them dying very noble deaths so that people can go back to fighting wars and painting and stuff.
February 26, 2010 at 8:06 pm |
“OH NOES BATMAN IS EVIL!” just made me cackle with joy.
December 30, 2012 at 3:49 am |
I think you rather underrate this Movie. Sure it has its flaws, and there are many of them. The first time i saw the puppy scene I rolled my eyes well in advance, the logic is totally fucked up Adding to the points in the review: If the drug prevents all emotions, why would someone have interest (having an interest in something beeing an emotion) in either taking it or not taking the drug? Why would anyone feel afraid of the incinerator while on the drug? Noone would do anything, since motivation is a feeling?
But here is my point: the ending makes up for everything. Except for fight club there is no movie with an ending nearly as awesome, and I could name hundreds of so called “good movies” from all genres which would have been massively improved by an ending like that one: Live is beautyfull, The crying game …I could even argue that citizen kane would be a better movie with the ending of equilibrium.
February 7, 2014 at 3:40 pm |
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February 10, 2014 at 9:26 pm |
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