By now, you have likely figured out that whenever movies with names like Toxic Skies start showing up in my review list, I’ve been down south to hang out with my parents, and my mom and I have rented up a big pile of silliness with which to entertain ourselves. Yep, you betcha, that’s what’s happened here, and you can expect a few more reviews like this one coming down the line shortly. Hurrah!
Holy Moses, I love my mother.
This one we picked up for obvious reasons. First of all, virus movies are irresistible to science geeks — at least to science geeks like us. And even more importantly, we both have a serious thing for Ol’ Crinkly Eyes, better known to the world at large as James Tupper. Nom nom, YUM!
Unfortunately, while this movie started off sort of intriguing, its attempt at being a bit unique (for a virus movie, anyway) eventually ended up getting in its way, culminating in a storyline about a jet fuel/governmental conspiracy that made little sense and an outbreak of the plague we mostly just found dull.
The conspiracy theory part involved the government’s attempts to get rid of nasty chemicals by putting them in jet fuel and letting airplanes burn them off high up in the skies. Seems like a solid plan, except for the part where gravity brings the heavier-than-air fuel gases raining down on everyone below, wiping their immune systems out almost completely.
Tupper’s character, the one who brings the conspiracy to light for the doctor played by Anne Heche, says this is what explains the increases in autism, cancer, and other awful illnesses across the country over the last ten years. And it’s why, all of a sudden, the city of Spokane, Washington, where the story is set, is suddenly dying from the plague, a disease that is completely treatable these days under normal circumstances.
The problem with this theory is that if the jet fuel were having this effect on the entire country, as Tupper suggests, wouldn’t there be gazillions of deadly outbreaks all the time? Or at least at roughly the same time? And wouldn’t it be far more likely that, if the chemicals were wiping people’s immune systems out, they’d all be dying of the flu/pneumonia long before anything as obscure as the Black Death got them?
Oh, heavens to Murgatroyd, it was just kind of dumb. I’m sure you’re catching onto that.
Nevertheless, James Tupper is one helluva good-looking fella’ and even though he’s not, unfortunately, nearly as good at acting as he is at looking delicious, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for it. Or for this stinker either.
I do miss Men in Trees, though. Sigh.
Genre: Disaster, Virus
Cast: Anne Heche, James Tupper, Daniel Bacon, Barclay Hope