Archive for the ‘Miscellaneous nonsense’ Category

Best Movies and Books from 2011!

February 2, 2012

It’s finally here!  My annual list of Best Good Movies, Bad Movies, and Books of the year!  Go check it out and then come back over here to tell me everything I got totally wrong.  Otherwise, HOW WILL I LEARN?

Also, here’s hoping for a year of more Boyfriend write-ups.  Yeesh, I did THREE in 2011.  That’s shameful.  Don’t forget to send me your suggestions for new beaux (, and though I want to leave this Best list up for at least two weeks, I’ve already got the first Boyfriend of the year completed and ready to post. Nerds, brace yourselves, because you’re going to LOVE this one.


And Happy New Year, my peoples!


Senceless Pie??

November 13, 2010

Wondering what’s up with the new name of this blog?  Check out the comments on my old review of the SyFy movie Polar Storm (Peter’s comment from yesterday in particular).  Also, I was double-dog-dared to do this by several people, and you know what a sucker I am for the triple-d.

Plus, it’s kind of perfect.  Don’t you think?

Peter, Whoever you are, I adore you, you ass.  Love, Senceless Pie.

Bloomin’ — My latest piece at WWW

September 21, 2010

Published another piece at Writer, Writing, Writest this week (an online literary magazine I’m both writing for and helping to edit).  It’s called “Bloomin'” and this week’s theme was “My Summer Vacation.”

Hope you enjoy it! And while you’re there, check out some of the other work — a lot of it is super-duper great!


September 9, 2010

Hello, sports fans!  Just wanted to update you on a few things, since I’ve been a bit quiet here of late.

1. Annual Fall TV posts start next week!  Though I must say, I’m not terribly exciting by any of the shows starting this year.  Maybe some of them will surprise me, but I ain’t holding no breaths.

2.  I wrote a poem for an online literary ‘zine, if you are interested in reading it.  The ‘zine picks a theme for each week and writers submit fiction, essays, poetry, whatever they’re inspired to do.  This week’s theme was “Family” :

3.  New Boyfriend write-up coming TOMORROW!  At long last! (Um, tomorrow or Saturday.  Soon, though, I swear.  You’re going to like him.  I promise.  You can’t not.  He’s too adorable.)

4.  Also, I spent last weekend with Mom, which means a bundle of reviews of really awesomely bad sci-fi/disaster movies will also be appearing in this space shortly.

EYES PEELED, MY PEOPLES.  Things will be picking up here very shortly!

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid – Coming Soon to SyFy

June 28, 2010

I don’t know about you guys, but I am IN.  Even though I found Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus totally lame (not even good-bad, just plain-ol-boring-bad), I am hopeful the filmmakers and SyFy network execs read my review and learned a little something from it.  Like, for example, to make sure to save a little something in the budget for the final duke-out scene.  So you don’t have to stage it using bath toys.

Also: Debbie Gibson AND Tiffany!  In the same film!  CAT FIGHT!

I’ll let you know when I hear anything about a release date.  Party at my house!  (And p.s., I have no idea what a Gatoroid is either, but I’m hoping it’s part gator, part robot.  Because that would be awesome, in the purest sense of the term.)

10 PRINT “Hello, World!”

June 8, 2010

Hi, my peoples!  When I logged into WordPress right now, it wanted me to check a box that said “Remember Me” next to it.  Ouch, WordPress.  I have to ask?  To be remembered?  You guys remember me, right?  Even though I haven’t posted for a while?

Sorry I haven’t posted in for-ev’s, but I was out of town this weekend and haven’t seen a new movie in a week or so — the nerve!  The good news is, I’m about to blog a book for you (tonight), AND I have a great Boyfriend write-up 90% ready to go.  HANG IN THERE.  DON’T LEAVE ME!  I WILL BE BACK SHORTLY!



The Trip List — Movie Quote Hall of Fame

February 10, 2010

Regular readers of this blog are probably familiar by now with commenter Trip and “quote wars,” a game he and I and the rest of you wackos often derail comment threads into (so not a stickler here for making sure comments stay on topic — topic schmopic, I say on that).

A few weeks back, a couple of us asked Trip for a list of his favorite movie lines, in part to better prep us for future wars (hey, that was my motive, at least), and at long, long last, the Trip List appears in print!  (Along with a graphic drawn by ME PERSONALLY, featuring a favorite line from the movie Airplane.  And yes, I won’t quit my day job and go into art, no worries, ya jerks.)

Here’s Trip’s intro:

Well, I’m really only brushing the surface here, and I’d probably face-palm at the mention of a few others I *should have* included here, nevertheless here’s a first list of quotes I like, which were more instantly memorable to me, and which I’ve used fairly regularly over the years on friends and co-workers alike…

And my follow-up intro is that if he missed any of your favorites, you know what to do, y’all.  Hit it!  (And oh, I know you will.  I know I will.  I know we all will.  We cool like that.)

Enjoy (and thanks for all the hard work, Trip!)!

THE TRIP LIST v.1.0 (edited to add the occasional self-serving link to a Boyfriend write-up or movie review where relevant, which was clearly not nearly as often as it should’ve been — I haven’t featured Bill Murray yet?  What the what?)

  • “I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum…and I’m all out of bubble gum.” – George Nada (Roddy Piper), They Live
  • “We are the music makers…and we are the dreamers of dreams.” – Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
  • “Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives, including your mother’s. And yours. I dare you to do better.” – Capt. Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood), Star Trek (2009)
  • “All right you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick!” – Ash (Bruce Campbell), Army of Darkness
  • “Gimme some sugar, baby.” – Ash (Bruce Campbell), Army of Darkness
  • “Bitch…you don’t have a future.” – Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman), Kill Bill Pt. 2
  • “Tell me of your homeworld, Usul.” – Chani (Sean Young), Dune
  • “You need to be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how!” – Rhett Butler (Clark Gable), Gone with the Wind
  • “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!” – Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe), Goldfinger
  • “Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.” – Gandalf (Ian McKellen), Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • “Dang! You got shocks, pegs…lucky!” – Napoleon (Jon Heder), Napoleon Dynamite
  • “Usul, we have wormsign the likes of which even God has never seen.” – Stilgar (Everett McGill), Dune
  • “My name is a killing word.” – Paul Atreides (Kyle McLaughlin), Dune
  • “Brandy! Throw more brandy!” – Prince Hapnick (Jack Lemmon), The Great Race
  • “I crap bigger than you.” Curly (Jack Palance), City Slickers
  • “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” – Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Aliens
  • “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” – Clemenza (Richard Castellano), The Godfather
  • “I like them French fried potaters.” – Karl (Billy Bob Thornton), Sling Blade
  • “Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “Game over, man, game over!” Private Hudson (Bill Paxton), Aliens
  • “Well that’s great, that’s just fuckin’ great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We’re in some real pretty shit now man…” Pvt. Hudson (Bill Paxton), Aliens
  • “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!” – President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove
  • “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.” – Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd), The Blues Brothers
  • “If you’d have fought one whit below your abilities, I’d have given you a good scar to remind you.”  – Gurney Halleck (Patrick Stewart), Dune
  • “Only I didn’t say ‘Fudge.’ I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!” – Ralphie narrating as adult (Jean Shepherd), A Christmas Story
  • “Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” – Ralphie narrating as adult (Jean Shepherd), A Christmas Story
  • “Well, I’m a mushroom-cloud-layin’ motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I’m Superfly T.N.T., I’m the Guns of the Navarone!” – Jules (Samuel L. Jackson), Pulp Fiction
  • “Well, that’s a huge noggin. That’s a virtual planetoid!” – Stuart Mackenzie (Mike Myers), So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • “I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.”  – Stuart Mackenzie (Mike Myers), So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • “The fact that you’ve got ‘replica’ written down the side of your guns…and the fact that I’ve got ‘Desert Eagle .50’ written down the side of mine…should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now…fuck off!” – Bullet Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones), Snatch
  • “Well, he should have armed himself if he’s going to decorate his saloon with my friend.” – William Munny (Clint Eastwood), Unforgiven
  • “I’d like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.” – Red narrating (Morgan Freeman), The Shawshank Redemption
  • “Ha ha! You didn’t count on my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?” – Mitch (Norm MacDonald), Dirty Work
  • “You will learn a system of self-defense that I learned after two seasons of fighting in the octagon.” – Rex (Diedrich Bader), Napoleon Dynamite
  • “I ain’t got time to bleed!” – Blain (Jesse Ventura), Predator
  • “The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.” – Tyrell (Joe Turkel), Blade Runner
  • “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say ‘YES!'” – Winston (Ernie Hudson), Ghostbusters
  • “Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “I hate Illinois Nazis.” – Jake Blues (John Belushi), The Blues Brothers
  • “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Oswald was a fag.” – McManus (Stephen Baldwin), The Usual Suspects
  • “I like how you burritoed me in the sofa cushions.” – Alex Goran (Vera Farmiga), Up In the Air
  • “Mikey, why don’t you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don’t see-a you again soon, I’m-a gonna die!”  – Clemenza (Richard Castellano), The Godfather
  • “Training is NOTHING. Will is EVERYTHING,” – Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson), Batman Begins

Men of a Certain Age — Thirtysomething Without All the Babies

January 1, 2010

Are you guys watching Men of a Certain Age Monday nights on TNT?  It’s really good.  Watch it.  It makes me think of Thirtysomething, except there aren’t any obnoxious babies (and by “babies,” I refer less literally to infants and more metaphorically to the infantile).  You’re only four episodes behind if you leap in right now and you’ll catch on fast.  So leap, already.  Leap!  Scott Bakula was actually a Boyfriend of the Week, you old-timers might remember, but I lost his write-up years ago in a terrible server transition accident.   Plans to refeature him reignited immediately upon seeing him as a messy-haired 40-something.   And Andre Braugher, of course, long, long  overdue.  And Ray Romano!  Who would’ve thought, Ray Romano!  I’m in love.  Loving it.  Loving it.  In love with it.  I love it.

And Happy New Year!  My write-up with the tops of 2009 will be appearing shortly.  Hang in, hang in, I will see you soon, my friends.

MacGyver Cat is MacGyver!

December 11, 2009

I’m working on the next Boyfriend write-up, so I know the blog’s been a bit lazy this week.  To keep you entertained, check out this hilarious MacGyver Cat video.  Oh my god, I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard!  Awesome!!

What the WHAT?

October 2, 2009

Not a single Boyfriend of the Week appears on the list. Nice work, men.  Let’s keep it that way.

And hey, Gael Garcia Bernal, you suck.  You too, Ms. Swinton.  What the hell?  Has everybody suddenly gone completely insane?

(Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Here.  God.)