Archive for the ‘Joss Whedon’ Category

Fall TV Week Two Part 2: Return of the Returning Things

September 25, 2013

sleepyhollowQuick recap:  Sleepy Hollow‘s second episode sure seemed to annoy a lot of people!  Apparently, they didn’t like the parts of the episode that didn’t make sense historically.  The parts where it didn’t make any sense because it was about a guy who came back to life after 250 years in the ground because of a magic witch spell on the other hand. . . I rest my case.

I will say, however, that it sure would be nice of somebody to buy that poor fella a new outfit.  I’ve washed clothes in a hotel sink before — you can really only get away with that once, and I have a feeling that goes double for clothes that were underground for 250 years (yet oddly intact — it’s nice when the witch remembers to protect your duds from wear and tear too, isn’t it?  I bet The Hulk is jealous.)

I talked about Blacklist and the Hostages in Monday’s comments section, if you wanna read.

shieldAgents of SHIELD:  I loved it but I do have one complaint and it’s not the first time I’ve made it in response to a Joss Whedon project.  Everybody loves Joss Whedon’s dialogue — he’s the king of witty banter, right?  The problem is, you can’t make every character a clever, witty banter-er.  And they can’t speak in witty banter 85% of the time.  It starts out fun and funny, and ends up like this:  “Oh, shut up already. God.”

Also, I’m wondering if it makes the most sense to put the official logo of your secret-agent agency on all the vans your secret agents drive around town.  I’m just asking.  I still loved it.  I’m 100% on board.  I was just wondering.

Not a lot of new stuff coming out tonight and tomorrow night, but bunches of old stuff returns for a new season.  For better (Modern Family) or for worse (Two and a Half Men).  Here’s what’s up, buttercup.

Wednesday, September 25

revolutionRevolution – 8pm – NBC – I tried so hard to like this show, and then there was some kind of magic amulet or something, and I had to give up.  Anyway, it’s back and apparently the power is back on, so at least they can get online and order up some supplies from

The Middle – 8pm – ABC – Don’t watch, don’t know.  Enjoy.

backinthegame_needscropBack in the Game – 8:30pm – ABC – Wait, this has Maggie Lawson in it?  Does that mean she isn’t going to be on Psych anymore?  No!  Anyway, this is another “single mom has to move back in with her parents” sit-com, though at least this one includes James Caan and baseball jokes.  Not for me, but you go ahead — the only baseball joke I need is “Who’s on First.”

modernfamilyModern Family – 9pm – ABC – You know how a season or two ago, Lily aged about 4 years over a single summer, was given lines in the script, and was INCREDIBLY ANNOYING?  That was a bummer.  But I still love this show, so there.

Law & Order: SVU – 9pm – NBC – This is still on.  I’m still watching it.  I don’t know why.

Criminal Minds – 9pm – CBS – This is still on.  I’m still watching it.  I don’t know why.  . . I’m noticing a trend here.

Nashville 10pm – ABC – Not my thing, but I do love Connie Britton.

csiCSI: Coke Classic– 10pm – CBS – The original is still the best, and Ted Danson totally revitalized it for me.  Is it the only one still on?  That’s probably for the best, though I did like seeing Gary “The Grump” Sinese every week on CSI:NY.

Thursday, September 26

parksrecParks and Recreation – 8pm – NBC – I’m still a couple of seasons behind on this show, but it’s hilarious so if you never tuned in, let this be the year you seek out season one.  It’s on Netflix.  And on DVD.  And all that.  And that one dude with the mustache is just friggin’ hilarious.  Seriously.  My husband will even watch this one, and he won’t watch much, my peoples. RINGING ENDORSEMENT!

bigbangtheoryThe Big Bang Theory – 8pm – CBS – Theoretically, this should be my favorite television show of all time.  But, as I’ve said before: laugh tracks!  I can’t stand ’em!  What really needs to happen on Big Bang Theory is that one of the characters needs to hear the laughing and become comically confused, which cues more laughing, which cues more confusion, which cues more laughing.  And then this needs to continue in an endless loop until finally he throws his hands up and yells, “Impossible termination condition!” And then the episode ends.  When they do that, you let me know and I’ll start watching.

millersThe Millers8:30pm – CBS – I’m tuning in for this one because I love both reporters and Will Arnett, and in The Millers those two things have been rolled into one.  But I’m not expecting brilliance, and I’m still mad they canceled Up All Night, the end.

Glee – 9pm – FOX – I don’t watch this one, but I was still really sorry to hear about Cory Monteith.

mjfox_needscropThe Michael J. Fox Show – 9pm (2 episodes)- NBC – When I first learned of this series, my initial reaction was that it was a pity project that was going to make everybody uncomfortable.  But then I saw a preview, and now I’m kicking myself in the butt for being such a butt.  The last time I saw Fox, he was killin’ it on Rescue Me, so what was I thinking?  I wasn’t thinking.  I’m an idiot, and I can’t wait.

crazyonesThe Crazy Ones – 9pm – CBS – I can do weekly Sarah Michelle Gellar.  But I cannot do weekly Robin Williams.  Robin Williams is best experienced in small, sporadic dosages, in my experience, and starring in a sit-com is not how you go about that.  No, sir, it isn’t.

greysGrey’s Anatomy – 9pm – ABC – You know what’s funny?  After all these years of mocking this show because every other week there was a thunderstorm, which we really don’t get here all that often, we just spent an August getting thunderstorm after thunderstorm.  After thunderstorm.  Ha ha ha, NUTS.  I’m still not calling them “ferry boats” or “mocha lattes,” though.  I draw the line at weather.

Two and a Half Men – 9:30pm – CBS – Ugh.  Srsly?

parenthoodParenthood – 10pm – NBC – I’ve been watching this one since it launched, but honestly am not that jazzed about its return.  It might be totally great.  I’m sure it will be.  It’s just that I’m not that jazzed.  I can’t get jazzed about it.  There’s no jazz here.  Also: no pizazz, in case you were wondering.  But whatever, it’s fine.

elementaryElementary – 10pm – CBS – This show has a few flaws, primary among them being that it isn’t the Sherlock we actually want to see, it is merely the Sherlock we might as well see while we wait around (forever!) for the other one to return on BBC America.  Nevertheless, it grows on you over time.  And at least they dumped that stupid “sober companion” ruse.  That was getting in my way.  And now it isn’t.  Plus, Moriarty’s a chick!  That rulz!

The end until Friday!  Hit the comments with. . . er. . . comments!

Fall TV Week Two Part 1: Attack of the “Wait, This Is Still On?”s

September 23, 2013

tvset1Fall TV Week Two is the week of new- and returning-series onslaught, so I’ll be doing two days at a time instead of trying to cram the whole week into a single post.

Just as a quick update about last week’s stuff first, though.  There are two new shows still set to record on my DVR:  Sleepy Hollow and Brooklyn Nine Nine.  (Dads I didn’t last 30 seconds through due to a combination of insufferable inanity and the use of a laugh track.)

Brooklyn is not flawless, but it made me laugh out loud, which is not easy to do if you’re a sit-com.  I’ll keep it around a while at least.

sleepyhollowAs for Sleepy Hollow, I was actually pretty surprised by how much I enjoyed that one.  It’s silly and fun, though I have no idea how they are going to make it last a whole season, let alone multiple, when there’s only one bad guy and he seems to have a pretty limited agenda.

Then again, there was a scene in episode one in which Ichabod picked up a Book of Great Importance and said to the cop lady, “It is prophesied that we will be working together to destroy evil for seven years, because the dude who wrote this line in the script is a super-big optimist when it comes to pilot season ratings.”  So, you know, apparently there’s some kind of plan.

Whatever.  I’m game until I’m not game anymore, whenever that might be.  Here’s what’s coming up today and tomorrow.  WEEK TWO IS GO!

Monday, September 23

how-i-met-your-motherHow I Met Your Mother – 8pm (CBS) — Wait, this is still on? I feel like this has been on for one bajillion years.

The Voice – 8pm (NBC) — This one just won an Emmy last night, I have heard, but I’m still not taking on another singing competition series.  I can only take just so much singing, and even then, only when it’s me and I’m in the car.

2 Broke Girls– 9pm (CBS) — Wait, THIS is still on?  This survived a first AND a second season?  My head hurts.

momMom – 9:30pm (CBS) — This new sitcom is about a single mother who, after going into recovery for alcoholism, moves to a new town and tries to stay sober while raising her two kids and interacting with her passive-aggressive mother.  There’s only one reason to try this series, and that reason is Allison Janney.  And even there, I am dubious.  I don’t know.  I’ll think about it. (Incidentally, whatever you do, don’t Google the phrase “Mom series,” unless you’re a fan of “sexy cougar sex pics.” I regret that Google search with all my heart.)

hostagesHostages – 10pm (CBS) — Toni Collette!  That’s all I need to know!  (Plotwise, this one is about a mom whose family is taken hostage by a rogue FBI agent who wants her to assassinate the president.  Dylan McDermott is the rogue agent, which means there will be a lot of furious ranting and facial grimacing.  He’s SUPER good at that, though, so count me in.)

blacklistThe Blacklist – 10pm (NBC) — This show has generated a lot of positive buzz in the weeks leading up to tonight’s premiere.  It’s about an ex-government agent (James Spader) who has gone into private practice, brokering deals for criminals around the globe.  There’s an FBI team trying to git ‘im.  And something about a terrorist, because THIS is AMERICA.  I’m not a huge fan of Old Weird James Spader, but I’ll definitely be giving this one a shot.

Castle – 10pm (ABC) — This is still on, and you have Nathan Fillion’s nose to thank for it.  (It says “You’re welcome.”)

Tuesday, September 24

ncisNCIS – 8pm (CBS) — Thankfully, NCIS returns to us this year sans agent Ziva “I Speak Perfect English Except When It’s Funnier If I Don’t” David.  Who will replace her?   You know what would be awesome?  A female version of McGee.  A McGirl.  Or a librarian.  Or me, is what I’m saying.  ME.  I have a feeling that won’t be the direction they go in, but one never knows.

shieldMarvel’s Agents of SHIELD – 8pm (ABC) — You know how last week I said Sleepy Hollow was the only new TV show I was excited about?  I lied!  Because I totally forgot about this one!  This new Joss Whedon series follows Agent Phil Coulson, last seen in the movie The Avengers, as he puts together a select group of other agents and they investigate a bunch of weird stuff.  I don’t know.  I don’t even care.  All I know is that I love Joss Whedon and I love Clark Gregg, and I’m pretty much game for whatever they want to do with this one.  Bring it ON.

NCIS: Los Angeles – 9pm (CBS) — Wait, seriously? I’m being serious now.  THIS IS STILL ON?  Who’s watching this? Cut it out!  This show is terrible!

goldbergsThe Goldbergs – 9pm (ABC) — I don’t need to watch a show about an adorable 80s family, I LIVED IT.

Trophy Wife – 9:30pm (ABC) — Almost as appealing to me as Cougar Town, which is to say: not at all, and for many of the same reasons.

lucky7Lucky 7 – 10pm (ABC) — This drama is about a group of people who win the lottery together and have to deal with the fallout in their personal lives.  You know, just like NBC’s Windfall in 2006, only minus Luke Perry which: good luck, ABC.

Person of Interest – 10pm (CBS) — Wait, this show is still on?  Something-something-Jim-Caviezel-argh.

chicagofireChicago Fire – 10pm (NBC) — Firemen are awesome.  But I didn’t make it through two episodes of this show last year and I’ll tell you why: you just can’t go from Rescue Me to Chicago Fire.  It can’t be done.  Once you go Rescue Me, there’s just no going back.  And there’s not a thing I can do about it, I’m sorry.

Fangasm – 10pm (Syfy) — As a rule, I’m against all things “-gasm” or “-gate,” but beyond that, this show sounds pretty dumb.  It’s a reality program about a bunch of pop culture nerds living in an apartment together and working for Stan Lee.  I don’t know.  You watch it.  I’ll be over here not watching it.  Stan Lee, cut it out, you goob.

Check back Wednesday for more!  And if you have any opinions about any of these or last week’s newbies, hitten zee comments!

MOVIE: The Avengers (2012)

August 22, 2012

I actually saw this movie about a month ago, but I was having a hard time figuring out what to say about it in a review so I never got around to writing one.  But the blooper reel from the upcoming DVD release just hit the Interwebs today, and I realized it kind of says everything that needs to be said.  Which is this:  The Avengers is FUN.  It’s just REALLY, REALLY FUN.   IT IS SO FUN, YOU GUYS.

I can’t think of anything profound to say (clearly) — I’m not a superhero movie or comic fan generally speaking, and I don’t know anything about any of the characters (except for having watched a lot of The Incredible Hulk episodes as a kid, which I bet doesn’t count for much, right, nerds?).  But to me, this struck me as a movie written by a totally joyful fan boy (Joss Whedon) and acted by a whole bunch of incredible talents who were having the time of their lives on set.

Need independent proof of that?  Check out the blooper reel here:  Kind of says it all!

This is a movie that oozes happiness and fun.  But it’s not just silliness.  Some of the characters (Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk, for example), are complex and interesting, not just big, green, and fond of breaking things (though I confess, I’m still confused why we have a group of human superheroes and then. . . a GOD?  What is Thor doing in this gaggle?  I guess I’ll have to watch his movie next and find out!).  And the script is brilliantly, hilariously written — just what you’d expect from Whedon (I’d actually forgotten he’d written the script, in fact, until the scene at the end during which Capt. America is assigning battle tasks, then turns to Hulk and says simply, “SMASH.”  Oh yes, WHEDON.  Of course!).

You could not do better for a popcorn-munchin’, summer-heat dodgin’ film, in my opinion.  This one fits that bill absolutely perfectly.

So, you know, RECOMMENDED!  Doy.  And that goes for fans of the comics and not-fans of the comics alike!

[Prequeue it at Netflix | Preorder the DVD]

Genre:  Action, SMASH
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner,  Stellan Skarsgård, Samuel L. Jackson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Bettany

Fall TV Week Three, Part 2 — Duck and Cover!

September 23, 2009

Wednesday, 9/23

jamestupperMercy (NBC) – 8pm.  The ads for this show make it look absolutely unbearably awful.  Plus, stop claiming to be the only show about nurses, you morons, or I’m sending Nurse Jackie over to kick your ass.  I strongly suspect the title of this series is going to be the rallying cry of everyone who watches it.  Then again, JAMES TUPPER, people.  It’s not like I can just NOT tune in.

garyunmarriedSit-coms (not watching): The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS) – 8pm, Gary Unmarried (CBS) – 8:30pm, Cougar Town (ABC) – 9:30pm, Modern Family (ABC) – 9pm.   Of these four, the only one I’m even remotely intrigued by is Modern Family, which is a mockumentary-style sit-com about an American family being filmed for a Dutch reality show.  But I’ll wait for you guys to tell me if it’s any good first — don’t leave me hangin’.   As for Cougar Town, my plan for that one is to Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal it into disexistence.  If I can’t see it, it can’t see me.  Annnnd POOF.

criminalmindsCrime shows (watching due to irrational inability to quit even when quitting is the only logical move): Criminal Minds (CBS) – 9pm, Law & Order: SVU (NBC) – 9pm, CSI:New York (CBS) – 10pm.  I still really enjoy Criminal Minds, even though it has gotten sort of repetitive.  Stop me if you’ve heard this profile before:   age 20-40, white male, issues with mom, works full-time and appears normal to the neighbors, has a dungeon in his basement.  I just described the “unsub” from 95% of the episodes from last season, I swear.  Nevertheless, I have a mondo crush on Joe Mantegna and that goes a long way towards keeping me engaged.

Law & Order: SVU, I would argue, has sucked almost unbearably for at least the last two seasons, if not longer. I need to let it go and for some reason find myself unable to.  Here’s hoping it frees me like ER finally did, but doesn’t take nearly as long to get around to it.

Lastly, CSI: New York is the only one of the three CSI series I tune into with any degree of regularity anymore.  The original series has been too hit-or-miss for about the last three years and Lawrence Fishburne is not doing it any favors (not his fault, I would argue — the conceit of his addition to the team was just really lame and unbelievable and I haven’t gotten past that yet).  CSI:NY got a lot better in its second season, so if you bailed after its awful first, it might be worth checking it out again.  It’s got some good characters and some annoying ones, but Gary Sinise is a steady helmsman, and, of course, I still love Melina Kanakaredes from her days on Due South and always, always will.

paulgrossEastwick (ABC) – 10pm.  The ads for this show make it look absolutely unbearably awful.   Hey, deja vu!  I’m not crazy about two out of the three actresses running this machine, and the third one I’m only not not-crazy about because I have no idea who she is.  That probably bodes significantly less than well.  Then again, PAUL GROSS.  Curses!  Somebody in charge of casting all the terrible shows this year certainly has my number.

Thursday, 9/24

flashforwardFlash Forward (ABC) – 8pm.  This time-bending sci-fi show centers on a bizarre incident that causes all of mankind to black out for two minutes, during which time they each get a glimpse of themselves six months in the future.  It’s obviously been inspired by Lost, which was reason enough at first for me NOT to want to tune in.  I changed my mind, though, when I read two things about this show.  The first is that we’ll get to the “future” by the end of the first season — no holding over what’s in the metaphoric hatch for a ridiculously long time.   The second is that the series creators have already mapped out the full five years of the show.  This gives me hope it will have neither the constant frustrations nor the time-killing flailings of Lost.  As for the physics that make my brain hurt, I’m always happy to sign up for more pain.  Especially with Joseph Fiennes and Courtney B. Vance at the helm.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) – 9pm.  Confession time:  D-O-N-E.

csiCSI (CBS) – 9pm.  As I said above, this series is not really doing it for me any more.  Too many favorite characters gone, too many weird restructurings of the rest of the staff in the lab, too many repetitive storylines.  I’ll probably watch, but not with regularity.  Fishburne, get out while you still can!  (By the way, if you get the chance to see the CSI exhibit that is touring various science museums in the U.S. right now, go!  It’s totally fun!)

mentalistThe Mentalist (CBS) – 10pm.  I watched the first two or three episodes of this one last year and wasn’t impressed enough to want to make space for it in my weekly schedule.   I’ve since heard that it got pretty good there towards the end, but I’m probably too far behind at this point to ever get caught up.   Love Simon Baker, but can’t help thinking whenever I watch this show that I’d rather be watching Psych.

Friday, 9/25

Law & Order (NBC) – 8pm.  Nope.

Ghost Whisperer (CBS) – 8pm.  Nope.

dollhouseDollhouse (Fox) – 9pm.  Yep.  Though it took me almost the entire first season to warm up to this Joss Whedon show, by the end, I was thoroughly hooked.  When it finally broke free of the “prostitute conceit of the week” stories and really delved into the background stuff, it got incredibly engrossing.  Plus, this season adds a dash of Jamie Bamber to the mix; I love that little bunny!  Dear Fox:  Try not to frak this one up, okay?

mediumMedium (CBS) – 9pm (new network!).  I’m beyond grateful that CBS rescued this series when NBC gave it the boot last summer.  It may not be brilliant, but it’s thoughtful and well-acted, and that goes a long way in my book.  Glad to have it back, and so soon too (last year we had to wait until January for it).  Major crush on Jake Weber, of course.  That probably goes without saying at this point.

Numb3rs (CBS) – 10pm.  Still love it, in no small part because of the Biscuit.

Sunday, 9/27

I won’t be watching any of these, but here’s what’s back Sunday (I do watch Dexter, but have to wait for DVD on that one).

Amazing Race (CBS) – 8pm.  Too stressful.

Dexter (Showtime) – 9pm.  Too expensive.

Family Guy (Fox) – 9pm.  Too cartoonish.

American Dad (Fox) – 9:30pm.  Also too cartoonish.

Brothers and Sisters (ABC) – 10pm.  Too Sally Field.

Cold Case (CBS) – 10pm.  Too shut the hell up.

Joss Whedon on the future of Dollhouse. Sort of.

April 16, 2009

dollhouseThis cracked me up today.  These two articles are based on the same exact remarks given by Joss Whedon at the recent Paley Festival in regards to the future of his series Dollhouse (which, incidentally, just got badassedly entertaining about three episodes ago).

LA Times:
Joss Whedon: Chances of a ‘Dollhouse’ renewal are ‘not very good’

Joss Whedon tells Paley Fest fans that ‘Dollhouse’ season 2 is a total possibility

God bless the American media.  They sure keep things interesting.  (p.s. Thanks to Alisa for bringing the LA Times version to my attention!)

In other recent Boyfriend-related news, Josh Holloway just became a father.  And Mark Ruffalo is going to be starring in the upcoming movie version of the awesome Dennis Lehane novel Shutter Island, which I read for the first time a few years ago and loved, and am in the process of rereading right now.  Great story, AND the movie version will be directed by Martin Scorcese and costar Leonardo Dicaprio and Ben Kingsley.  Sign me up!

Anybody else have any Boyfriends in the News news to report?  Hit the comments, yo!

Dollhouse and Why Matt Keeslar Can Never Play a Bad Guy Ever Again

March 5, 2009

dollhouseSo, this weekend, I finally sat down and watched the first three episodes of Joss Whedon’s new FOX series, Dollhouse.  Prepare yourselves for a very lengthy review, most of which will be of the ranty and irrationally-upset variety.

Because I’m disappointed, to say the very least.  And kind of cranky, to say the very most.  And also surprised to realize I’m still planning on watching it for at least a few more weeks, despite my disappointment and crankiness.  I am an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in a piece of bacon that’s been crisped to perfection.

Mmmm, bacon.

It’s a miracle I have anything to say about this show to begin with, to be honest.  After the first train-wreck of an episode, I not only almost didn’t continue on, but  was sorely tempted to have all memory of it erased from my brain while I was at it (ha!).  By the end of the third episode, however, I was kinda-sorta glad I’d hung in there (kinda-sorta), and, I confess it, I’m kinda-sorta thinking I’ll hang in there for at least a few more weeks to see where it’s going.

That said, I have a LOT of problems with this show (not the least of which was its casting of ex-Boyfriend Matt Keeslar as a super-duper psycho crazy guy, but more on that in a minute).

And my primary complaint about this series can be summed up thusly:  its entire premise is totally lame.

That’s never a good way to start a show.

For those who haven’t tuned in, the show is about a secret organization that has somehow gotten its hands on a bunch of gorgeous young people (including ex-Buffy actress Eliza Dushku) and turned them into blank slates, devoid of any personality traits whatsoever.  When someone comes to this organization needing a certain type of person, the organization picks one of the “dolls” from the “Dollhouse” and uses a fancy-pants computer thingy straight out of Total Recall to “imprint” a new persona on the doll.  That doll wakes up and actually IS the new person for a finite amount of time, depending on the client’s requirements.

I’m not going to complain (much) that we’re given no idea how this works, where the absolutely vastly ginormous database of personas has come from (since the personalities used to imprint the dolls are all apparently from real people, which, whaaa. . .??),  etc.  We’re only a few episodes in, after all.

Instead, allow me to complain about these things. These VERY BAD THINGS:

1.  Rip-off city!  This series literally doesn’t have an original bone in its body (much like that cliche).  What the heck, Joss?  I already know you’re a genius, so why is every single element of your new series a total and obvious rip-off of something else?  To wit: Total Recall, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Alias, all the Buffy episodes featuring Adam, every episode of Law & Order: SVU that has to do with human trafficking, La Femme Nikita, My Own Worst Enemy, Paycheck, etc. etc. etc., all of which I have enjoyed more than I enjoyed the first three episodes of Dollhouse, I might add.

And yes, you did read that right.  I just said I thought even PAYCHECK was better, and it co-starred Aaron Eckhart in Calvin-on-picture-day hair.

2.  As if it weren’t bad enough that the premise itself is unoriginal, each episode’s storyline so far has also been pretty uninspired.  Take that episode with Matt Keeslar, where he “orders” the perfect outdoorsy girl to sleep her way up a mountain with him (because one of the Dollhouse‘s specialties is high-class prostitution, naturally), and then proceeds to turn her loose in the woods and attempt to hunt her down with a crossbow like she was an elk.  Good lord, how many times have we seen that done? Do not make me count the ways.

And the kidnapping episode?  Where Echo (Dushku) got imprinted to be a master kidnapping negotiator lady?  At one point, she says to the father whose daughter has been snatched that she’s been negotiating with kidnappers, “all her life.”  You gotta be kidding me that he didn’t bust out in mad laughter at that comment, given the fact she looks all of 17 years old.  Besides, he knows she’s a “doll,” so why did he appear to find that statement of any comfort to begin with?  Plus, haven’t I see this movie?  Starring Russell Crowe and Meg Ryan?

So far, to me anyway, the actual “storylines” of each episode seem like afterthoughts, quickly ripped off from somewhere else and tossed into place to fill out the hour, all so Joss can spend 5-10 minutes of each episode fleshing out his primary premise and Eliza Dushku can pretend she’s Jennifer Garner on Alias and play dress-up a lot.  Yawnsville, Illinois.

3.  You know what else doesn’t work for me?  That all the clients of the Dollhouse know how it works.   They know the person they encounter after they’ve placed their order is a blank slate with a computer-generated personality, and they know they can make that person be or do anything they want.  It costs them a bazillion dollars to do so, but they’re all rich beyond measure in the first place, so who cares?

Why is this  a problem?  Well, first of all, there’s no way all those clients could keep the Dollhouse a secret — you’re telling me that all those pervs and dorks purchasing “dolls” for sex aren’t going to be bragging about the hot chick they just scored with to all their pals?  None of whom are going to gossip about that with THEIR pals?  None of whom know or come into contact with any reporters?  My ass.

And how about this:  If you were a father whose daughter had been kidnapped, would you hire a REAL kidnapping negotiator expert or would you hire a FAKE kidnapping negotiator expert?  Yeah.  Me too.

What would’ve made this far more intriguing, in my opinion, would’ve been keeping the nature of the Dollhouse a total secret from everyone, ESPECIALLY the clients.  Make the Dollhouse the place you go to find the perfect “agent” for any job, and let the clients think those people are real people; that the Dollhouse is an enormous collective of mad skillz.  Because you can’t keep something like this a SECRET in today’s world.  To me, that is an utterly ludicrous element of this show’s entire premise and, frankly, I am irked by it.

mattkeeslar4.  Also, Matt Keeslar?  As an evil psycho guy?  Sands of Zanzibar, Dubbie!  That just doesn’t work for me after The Middleman, I’m sorry.  (Incidentally, The Middleman got canceled — ABC Family bastages!)

5.  Essentially, the dolls serve primarily as super-duper expensive prostitutes who aren’t even allowed to maintain their own brains.  I’m disturbed.

6.  Also disturbing:  This is a Joss Whedon project?  Where the hell is the snappy banter?  Snappy banter might have a chance in heck of saving this show from its ludicrous-ness.  Worked for Buffy and Firefly, right?  Did we not happily suspend all disbelief for those shows, despite the fact they were about vampires and space cowboys?  Yes, yes we did.  And we were rewarded for it with genius, not hack.  I want genius here.  And so far, I ain’t gettin’ it.

7.  Eliza Dushku gets on my nerves.  The end.

tahmohAnd now a list of the GOOD THINGS (just to balance this out):

1.  Tahmoh Penikett is darned good-looking, gosh darn it, even though I keep waiting for him to call Galactica Actual and deliver his sitrep.

2.  Sure, nothing about it is original (NOTHING AT ALL, PEOPLE!) — nevertheless, it’s all stuff I love, and even though I could get the same effect from a double-feature of Total Recall and seasons 1-4 of Alias, I’d have to get off the couch for that (swapping out the DVDs, etc.).  With Dollhouse, it comes to me.  Weekly.  With Tahmoh Penikett.  Laziness wins again!

Um, yeah, and that’s pretty much it for the good things, I’m sorry to say.

Will this series survive?  It’s highly, highly doubtful.  And I can’t decide if I’m sad or happy about that.  Obviously, I’m sad because I love Joss and want him to be successful in everything he does.  But I confess I’m also kind of happy, because this show is just plain weak and if it got the boot, maybe he’d try something else that would end up being better.

Amore — eet ees so complicated sometimes.

By the way, a couple of quick other TV things:  Reaper came back this week, did you notice?  I confess I burned out on it before the end of last season, but am ready to give it another try now that I’ve had a break.  And I do confess to a massive crush on Sock — who could blame me?

Also, raise your hand if you almost threw up when Katee Sackhoff turned up on Nip/Tuck.  Ugh.  Me too.   Katee!  Start running your offers by ME first — your manager is going to kill your career!!


Live Blogging Act II of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

July 17, 2008

Since “live-blogging” seems to be all the rage these days (by which I mean “8 years ago”), I thought it was about time for me to get in on the action.

So now, for your entertainment, I will live-blog my viewing of Act II of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog ( (Numbers correspond to minutes:seconds in the video, as closely as I could get them.)

00:18 — Neil Patrick Harris does “pained expression” very well.

00:47 — Actually, he also sings very well. Combine the two and you’d have . . . whoa, there it is! Acting! Brilliant! Thank you.

1:00 — Those of you who said you found Felicia Day somewhat forgettable in Act I are going to say it again, only this time we’ll all know it’s out of JEALOUSY that she gets to eat soup with Capt. Tight (Hammer) Pants.

1:19 — Hee, he’s wearing his gloves to eat dinner. I don’t know why that’s funny but it is.

1:31 — God, look at that NOSE! I really can’t explain it, but, once again, the word “lickable” leaps right to mind. Is it wrong for a married woman to want to lick a single man’s nostrils? Or just gross? Or both? Wait, don’t answer that. Especially if the answer is, “Hey, Nathan Fillion isn’t single!”

1:46 — Pay attention to the soup guy(s) in the background.

2:05 — Harmony! Lovely! (No, not Harmony the vampire, harmony the vocals technique. Note: This is a clarification only Joss Whedon fans will require.)

2:12 — You know, I don’t actually care for geese myself, Capt. Tight (Hammer) Pants. That fro-yo sure looks good, though.

2:36 — I started to laugh out loud right here and had to stifle it because of where I was at the time.

3:09 — “I’m a fan of laundry”?? Yep, I hate her too. Except for the part where she eats her fro-yo with a spork — that part’s awesome.

5:00 — Ew. No kissing.

5:20 — “PhD in HORRIBLENESS” also made me laugh out loud and stifle. I need to watch Act III somewhere more appropriate, obviously.

6:27 — The Evil League of Evil isn’t really all that cool, Doog. I’ve been a member since 1974 and I’m telling you, our meetings are about as much fun as Mensa’s.

7:09 — I have the same shoes as Dr. Horrible! They’re even scuffed in the same places! But my legs don’t magically cross in opposite directions as the camera moves in and out of the shot — that’s how you KNOW he’s evil!

8:02 — One too many ballads for me already. You too? Fast-forward to 9:01.

9:01 — Oh thank god, she’s stopped singing.

9:30 — Love the Thunk! when Dr. H runs into Capt. THP. Nice touch!

10:11 — “Apparently the only signature he needed. . . was my fist! Um, but with a pen inside it. . .” Joss, have I told you lately that I love you?

10:43 — Profile of Nathan Fillion; more lickable nose-ness. Times infinity plus one.

11:20 — Whatever you do, do not take a sip of beverage at 11:19, because you’ll just end up guffawing it all over your keyboard at 11:20’s “I’m not the hammer, the hammer is my [omitting because this is a family site].” I’m sending Joss the electronics bill.

12:07 (Or thereabouts.) — Watch for the killer wedgie!

13:00 — Act III: Dr. Horrible Goes all Cloverfield on Their Arses!

The End.

So worth the $3.99 at iTunes, folks, even though every time I see the title, I get that “Mr. Horrible” song by They Might Be Giants stuck in my head.

Act III comes out on Saturday — don’t miss it!

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog — Act I is Up!

July 16, 2008

Don’t miss Act I of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, a new online video project written by Joss Whedon and starring Nathon Fillion and his extremely lickable nose, as well as Neil Patrick Harris and Felicia Day. Villians! Heroes! Singing! Mad scientists! It’s got it all!

And even though I usually hate musicals, I will confess to a certain fondness for Joss Whedon’s lyrics ever since that “Bunnies” song from the musical Buffy episode (“And what’s with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for anywaaaaaaay?  Bunnies!  Bunnies, it must be BUNNIES!!”).

Act I is out now, with Act II due on the 17th and Act III on the 19th. After the 20th, I hear the episodes will no longer be offered for free, so get hot!

TV Shows Back This Week

March 31, 2008

April, how I have longed for you!  After months and months of absolutely nuthin’ on the tube, you have finally arrived and with you, the return, at long last!, of new TV.  Here’s what’s back this week that I’ll be tuning in for (episode counts are the number of new eps coming our way before the shows go back off the air for the summer again):

Wednesday, April 2:

Criminal Minds (CBS, 9pm, 7 episodes)
CSI: New York (CBS, 10pm, 7 episodes)

Thursday, April 3:

CSI: Gil Grissom (CBS, 9pm, 6 episodes)
Without a Trace (CBS, 10pm, 6 episodes)

Friday, April 4:

Numb3rs (CBS, 6 episodes)
Battlestar Galactica (Sci-Fi, full season)

Of course, of the bunch, the one I’m the most excited about is Battlestar Galactica, and can you blame me?  You mean to tell me that COLONEL TIGH is a CYLON?!  My ASS Colonel Tigh’s a cylon!!  And you can take making Chief a toaster and shove that too, while you’re at it, ya bastages.  Criminy!

By the way, BSG fans, did you happen to catch the 30 minute special this weekend in which Joss Whedon waxed poetic about his adoration for the series?  The only thing that could make me happier than listening to The Whede talk about Battlestar Galactica would be learning that a BSG star had been cast in his latest series, Dollhouse (coming next Fall).

And. . . SCORE!

In other news:  baseball is back!  I’m off to the game — hope I don’t freeze to death before the 7th inning stretch. . .  Play ball!