Yay! It’s July! And all our favorite summer TV shows are coming back! Here’s the time line for all the ones I’ll be tuning into — make sure you let me know in the comments if I missed any of your faves!
Thursday, July 10th
Burn Notice, Season 2. USA Network, Thursdays at 10pm. What do you MEAN you aren’t a Burn Notice fan? Did you know it has Bruce Campbell in it? (Not to mention ex-Boyfriend Jeffrey Donovan.) Isn’t that ’nuff said? No? Well, then how ’bout if I describe it as a cross between MacGyver and The Rockford Files? Sold!
Tune in this season to find out just how in the heck they’re going to work in that Cylon subplot (I just lost 48.5% of you with that one, sorry — Trisha Helfer, better known as “Six” from Battlestar Galactica, joins the cast this year. Though, presumably, not as a toaster. Hey wait, unless. . . holy hell, is it possible? Is Sam Axe the twelfth Cylon? MY MIND IS BLOWING!).
Friday, July 11th
Flashpoint, Season 1. CBS, Fridays at 10pm. This is the first Canadian TV show to be broadcast on a major American network (during primetime, anyway) since way, way back in 1994 when CBS picked up Due South. That alone is enough to get me to tune in. But since it also stars Veronica Mars’s father (Enrico Colantoni), I was already kinda sold on the idea. (p.s. Why I haven’t I made Enrico Colantoni a Boyfriend of the Week yet? I love that guy!)
Anyway, this series is about a special unit of cops in Toronto who do stuff like hostage negotiation. It sounds a lot like a Canadian version of that old TNT series Wanted (starring Gary Cole and that guy who plays Allison’s brother on Medium — I love that guy, whoever he is) which I really liked but which got canceled after the first season because of all the people in this country who would rather watch Farmer Wants a Wife than a smart show about complex characters. (Those of you about to email me with “Dear Meg: So You Think You Can Dance is not exactly The Sopranos,” can suck it, by the way.) It’s possible this one won’t succeed either but I have high hopes. And if all else fails, there’s always Galaxy Quest (for a good non-V. Mars Colantoni fix).
Stargate Atlantis, Season 5. Sci-Fi Network, Fridays at 10pm. I don’t actually watch this show, I just WISH I watched this show. I’ve seen about two episodes — random episodes — and thought it was a total blast. The problem is, now it’s in season FIVE, which means I have a lot of catching up to do. Daunting, to say the least, especially when you, like me, have TV OCD (I can’t bear to jump into a show in the middle — must start at S1E1!). I promise to get started on that ASAP, though. Cute guys! Great plots! Extreme funniness! Why did it take me so long to figure out this one was great? Gah, I’m firing myself.
Monday, July 14th

The Closer, Season 4. TNT, Mondays at 9pm. This show blows me away, I have to confess. You know how some shows get worse and worse over the years (Dear ER: Get a sucking chest wound already and leave me in peace, I beg of you!)? I swear to god, this show just gets BETTER AND BETTER. Last season, every single episode was utterly brilliant, and I don’t just throw that B-word around lightly, as well you know. If you thought Kyra Sedgewick’s accent was annoying (this is what I usually hear from people who don’t watch), tune in for J.K. Simmons instead. (p.s. Why haven’t I made J.K. Simmons a Boyfriend of the Week yet? I love that guy!)
(Saving Grace also returns July 14th, by the way, but I didn’t make it past episode one of that one. Gak.)
Tuesday, July 15th
The Cleaner, Season 1. A&E, Tuesdays at 10pm. I confess I’m a bit wary of this new series, which stars ex-Boyfriend Benjamin Bratt as an “extreme interventionist” who uses radical methods to save people from drug addiction. It could be really, really good. But it could also offend the ever-living beheysoos out of me. I work in the field of substance abuse and thus know rather a lot about this topic, and thus have rather strong opinions about this topic (this is why I had to stop watching House, for example). We’ll see how this one goes. I’ll report back after the first 1-2 episodes and let you know what I think.
Wednesday, July 16th.
Project Runway! Project Runway! Project Runway! YAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!! Need I say any more? Bravo, Wednesdays at 9pm.
Friday, July 18th
Monk, Season 7; and Psych, Season 3. USA, 9pm and 10pm. Okay, I’ll confess this: Last season of Monk was a little lackluster for me. I’m getting a little bit tired of the OCD schtick, and there were a few episodes last season where I felt like they truly lost sight of the depth of Monk’s character, which is the part that takes him from laughable OCD nutjob to sympathetic human being. Laughable OCD nutjob is not nearly as interesting to me, in part because the fictional character I am most frequently compared to happens to BE Adrian Monk (watch me eat M&Ms sometime and I think you’ll understand why). HOWEVER, as with ER, this is a show I will never be able to stop watching until it’s officially given the boot. Why? Because I used to love it so, so much, and it’s too hard for me to let go before it’s actually ENDED. See above re: TV OCD. But maybe it’ll be better this year. Stranger things have happened.
Psych, on the other hand, is another one of those shows that has been improving with every passing episode. It’s just getting funnier and funnier as the actors settle into their characters and the crazy goofballery settles into even more crazier goofballery (or whatever I mean by that). And oh god, that ad where they have clips of Sean running through all his various nicknames for Gus? I want to put that ad on my iPod so I can run it on a loop all day long, but I’m worried that that much laughter might literally KILL ME. Best ad ever. If you only watched the first few episodes of this one way back in season one, you’ve got to give it another try. Trust me — smart banter rules!
Tuesday, July 29
Eureka, Season 3. Sci Fi Network, Tuesdays, 9pm. Did I just use the phrase “smart banter”? Would it cheapen it if I use the same phrase again just one paragraph later? Because if you love smart banter (and also geeky science stuff), and you aren’t watching Eureka, I have but one word for you: Duuuuuuuude!
I love this show. Clever, weird, funny, and starring one of the most adorable men on television today (Colin “Butt Chin” Ferguson). Back when I went on hiatus last year, I featured Jeffrey Donovan as the first in a planned trilogy of summer TV gorgeousness — guess who numbers 2 and 3 were supposed to be? If you guess Colin Ferguson, you got number 2 right. And number 3 — well, let’s keep that one a mystery for now. Watch for Colin’s write-up, and the Mystery Man’s, coming later this summer!
Jeez, is that enough TV for you? With all the great stuff returning this month, how am I ever going to have time for all the Netflix Instant Viewing stuff I plan to watch on my new Roku Netflix Player (which I LOVE, by the way)?
Guess I’ll have to quit my day job. Any advice on how to swing this with the spouse? “Um, hon? Do you mind if I quit my job, watch TV 14 hours a day, and gain 50 pounds? What do you mean, ‘Hell no’?! YOU NEVER SUPPORT MY DREAMS!!”