Archive for the ‘Bradley Cooper’ Category

Fall TV Update: Wednesday, Sept 26

September 26, 2012


Here’s what’s on the schedule for tonight:

The Middle — 8pm (ABC) — I keep hearing this is good.  Is this good?

Animal Practice — 8pm (NBC) — I’m tuning in for this one, and I’ll tell you why: I’m a sucker for monkeys wearing people clothes.  I know it’s cruel to the monkeys, I know we shouldn’t do it, but I just love it so much.  A monkey!  In a lab coat!  And pants!  C’mon, that’s ADORABLE!

Okay, okay, in truth, I’m actually tuning in because I love animals and I think there’s a teeny tiny chance this MIGHT actually entertain me.  At least this show feels original in terms of content;  I’m pretty sure it’s the first sit-com about veterinarians that’s been on TV in my lifetime, in any case.  Plus, I like Justin Kirk’s brand of wry, weird sense of humor (on Weeds, anyway).  I don’t know.  How bad could it be?  No, don’t answer that.  I’ll find out soon enough.

Guys with Kids — 9pm (NBC) — You know that old showbiz adage, “Never work with animals or babies?”  NBC seems to be thumbing their nose a bit at that one tonight, eh? We just had animals, and now 30 minutes later, we have babies.  I like babies.  But the problem with this sit-com is that I have a sneaking suspicion its entire concept stemmed from that one scene in The Hangover when Zach Galifinakis strapped that adorbs li’l infant to his chest (the cover pic for the series certainly seems to WANT us to make that association, anyway).  And, guys?  That can’t be good.  There’s just no way.    If this was Bradly Cooper with Kids, I’d totally watch.  Jesse Bradford with Kids, on the other hand?  I gots better things to do.

Modern Family — 9pm (ABC) — I’ll never forget the original trailer for this series   — the one that featured Phil talking how he was hip to the kids’ lingo: BRB meant “be right back,” LOL meant “laughing out loud,” and WTF was  “why the face.”  Why the face!  Ah ha ha ha!  I love that so much.  AND I LOVE THIS SHOW.  It’s definitely a bit on the cheesy-sweet side a lot, but you know what?  I’m cool with that.  It’s the good kind of cheesy-sweet.  This is the only show I watch as soon as it’s been DVR’d (live TV, of course, being for suckers only), which is a very, very rare thing for me!  Cannot wait for tonight’s episode!

Criminal Minds, CSI, L&O:SVU:  The addition of Ted Dansen to CSI totally saved the series for me — his character is weird in a way that feels authentic (unlike, say, Vincent D’Onofrio on L&O:CI), and he’s also smart and witty and kind.  I’m smitten, frankly.  Alas, no such luck with recent changes to L&O:SVU, which I’m officially ditching from my DVR schedule as right. . . now.  As for Criminal Minds, Jeanne Tripplehorn is coming on board to replace Paget Brewster, and as a huge fan of her work on Big Love, I’m excited enough about that to want to tune in.   I tell you what, though, I sure am getting tired of all these shows that focus so heavily on vicious, horrific crimes against women.  SVU and Criminal Minds on the same night makes Wednesdays feel less like “Hump Day” and more like “Misogyny Day.”  But whatever — at least the bad guys usually get caught and punished, and we’ll pretend the victims get free, evidence-based mental health care for life to help them cope with the aftermath of their traumas.  It IS fiction, after all.  (Sigh.)

The Neighbors — 9:30pm (ABC) — You remember my joke about Ben and Kate Plus 8 yesterday in which I was rooting for the “Plus 8” to be Alfs from Melmac?  Turns out that wasn’t all that original an idea.  This sit-com is apparently about a family who discovers their neighbors are aliens (that cry green goo out of their ears or something, which explains the cover pic).  If this had an exciting cast, I’d actually be willing to give it a shot;  I liked 3rd Rock from the Sun, after all.  But Jami Gertz hasn’t been an exciting cast member since at least 1986 (arguably: if then).  So, asked and answered.  Moving on!

ALSO, in case you missed this update on yesterday’s post, DUCKY LIVES!  HALLELUJAH!

Boyfriends in the News Update!

November 17, 2011

Ba-BAM.  I totally called this:  Bradley Cooper named 2011’s Sexiest Man Alive.

Well, okay, so I didn’t LITERALLY call it.  I didn’t flat-out say, “Look out, 2011!”  But deep down, you guys knew I knew, right?  We all knew, right?  Since Alias, we have known, right?  Since THIS, we have known.


Also, did you guys hear Richard Armitage is going to be playing Thorin Oakenshield in Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit?  Because he is.  HE IS!  Wait, what’s that you said?  “Who’s Thorin Oakenshield?”

Pfft, he’s son of Thráin, son of Thrór!  Duh.  God.

AND, lastly, ex-Boyfriend of the Week Jason Segel (schmooperoo!) opens this weekend in the new Muppets movie, The Muppets.  Please, Jason Segel AND Dr. Bunsen Honeydew?  In the same movie?  You may want to put 911 on speed dial.  Because of the SWOONAGE.  (Also, is it just me John Hodgman and Bunsen Honeydew totally “separated at birth”?)

All these updates are just to say:  I haven’t forgotten about the Boyfriends, I swear.  Just been a busy year.  Hoping to have a new write-up posted soon, and maybe one more before January (plus my recap of favorite books and films from 2011).  And then we’ll see how things go in 2012.

MOVIE: The Hangover, Part II (2011)

June 20, 2011

I saw this flick Saturday night at a bar/movie theater in Seattle where you can have waitresses serve you fancy cocktails at regular intervals during the film, and I must say, that’s really the only way to go with this lame, lame sequel.  After my third drink, I almost stopped caring that it was painfully unfunny! Alcohol!  It’s like MAGIC the way it works sometimes!

Still love the characters, and it’s not like the movie is completely without laughs, but it would’ve been a lot more entertaining just to stay home and drink while popping the first one into the DVD player instead (my recommendation to you, sirs and madams).

Lame story; half-assed jokes mostly consisting of references to jokes from the first movie; a chain-smoking monkey, which is among the cheapest of cheap gags; a heavy focus on anti-homosexual humor that started to make me feel decidedly uncomfortable; and, well, hey, can someone go get me another Bogart (gin, cointreau, lemon-lime, and sage)?  I feel the urge to drink to forget.


[Prequeue at Netflix | View trailer]

Genre:  Comedy, Crap
Cast:  Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Justin Bartha, Ken Jeong, Paul Giamatti, Mike Tyson, Jeffrey Tambor

MOVIE: Case 39 (2009)

January 16, 2011

I’m not really a huge fan of the “evil child” horror genre, in part because once you’ve seen The Omen and The Bad Seed, there isn’t anywhere to go but down.  It’s very rare that anybody tries to do anything new with that story, and even when they do, they aren’t often successful (for example, I appreciated the idea behind the twist at the end of Orphan more than I appreciated the actual execution of that twist).

— NOTE:  SPOILERS BELOW (though if you have any brains, you will read on so you’re never tempted to rent this movie yourself) —

This movie, unfortunately, is about as boringly straight-forward as flicks in this genre tend to be.  Which is too bad, because despite the fact Renee Zellweger is, in my opinion, a painfully terrible actress, the movie itself started out pretty entertaining.  It began far more like a thriller than a horror film, for one thing, and even though I knew the evil-child thing was coming, there was a point during the first hour when it seemed like the filmmakers might actually be taking things in a new direction.

And then, bam!, they didn’t.  Man, I hate it when that happens.

The movie’s about a social worker, Emily Jenkins (Zellweger), who becomes obsessed with helping a little girl named Lilith she believes is being abused by her parents (one of whom is Callum Keith Rennie, Due South fans).   There’s no physical evidence, so Jenkins can’t do anything official, but her gut keeps telling her something is terribly wrong.  One night, she gets a call from a terrified Lilith that suddenly cuts out.  Panicked, Emily grabs her cop buddy, Mike (the awesome Ian McShane — and what the hell was he doing in this, by the way?) and heads over to Lilith’s house, only to find her parents have trapped her in the oven and turned it on.  Horrified, Emily and Mike save the girl and her parents get sent off to the local mental institution.

Emily petitions to get custody of Lilith, who seems like a sweet, quiet, damaged little girl in desperate need of saving.  But then weird things start happening — and soon, Emily’s friends start dying (one of whom is Bradley Cooper, Alias fans).  When it turned out those people were all getting phone calls “from a man” before committing what looked like a series of bizarre suicides, I had this moment where I thought maybe Lilith was innocent and either some actual man was following her around killing off anyone he perceived might harm her or, at the very least, she was possessed by a demon and therefore had no control over what was happening.

That might’ve been an interesting twist, I thought.  Especially having the evildoer be “just zis guy, you know.” (No, not Zaphod Beeblebrox). (<– joke only Douglas Adams Über-Geeks will get.)

Alas, that’s not where the movie goes.  It goes right where these movies always go instead.  And that lack of originality, coupled with Zellweger’s absolutely astonishingly lame performance, results in a movie you should never, ever spend ANY money on.

You’re welcome.

[Netflix it | Buy it]

Genre:  Horror
Cast:  Renée Zellweger, Jodelle Ferland, Ian McShane, Bradley Cooper, Callum Keith Rennie