MOVIE: Godzilla (2014)

godzillaI saw this movie a few weeks ago. It . . . um . . .  let’s see.  What is there to say about it?  Well, okay, it had Ken Watanabe in it, which was nice because I’d just seen him the day before in another movie (review coming soon).  And it was about . . . um. . . a big dinosaur thing that came out of the ocean apparently to have a big fight with a giant bat thing. Or something? Because it likes humanity? Or it doesn’t care about humanity, it just doesn’t like the bat thing, or . . . I don’t know. Something. Oh my god, this movie was boring.

When I walked out of the theater with my two bad-movie-watching buddies, I exclaimed, “How do you make a creature feature THAT BORING?”  A silly question, of course, because this movie answers the very question it generates.  For example, one of the ways you can make a creature feature THAT BORING is to include at least 45 minutes of soldiers shooting at the creature with bullets from guns, without a single one of them thinking to themselves, “Hey, these bullets from these guns don’t appear to be doing anything — perhaps we ought to try something bigger?”

“Crap” consensus shared by both the ladies I saw this with, one of whom was a childhood fan of the original.    So there.

SAVE YOURSELVES! FROM GODZILLA! BY NOT SEEING THIS!

RAWR! The end.

[Prequeue it at Netflix | View trailer]

Genre: Monsters, Horror, Crap
Cast: Bryan Cranston, Elizabeth Olsen, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Juliette Binoche, Sally Hawkins, Ken Watanabe, David Strathairn

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4 Responses to “MOVIE: Godzilla (2014)”

  1. RogerBW Says:

    I don’t know about other people, but when I watch a Godzilla film it’s for the monster fightin’ action rather than for the popcorn, I mean humans. By all accounts, that’s a balance that this film gets wrong.

    • megwood Says:

      Yeah, that’s pretty true — I actually liked the beginning of the film, which was all about the humans, but when the monster fighting started up, it just wasn’t that exciting or cool, and it didn’t last very long, either. Meh. Yawn.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    (Liz) – I read the first paragraph of this review to Lee, and he laughed! Way to go – but why in HECK did you go to this movie?

    • megwood Says:

      Creature features are right up my alley, which is why I went to see it! I have two friends that love bad movies too, so we try to go see something together every couple of months. This one was just beyond bad, though — not fun at all. BOO!

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