Fall TV Part 2a: The Onslaught Begins (Mon, 9/20 to Wed, 9/22)

The TV Avalanche is upon us!  DUCK AND COVER!

I’ll be breaking this week’s TV post into two installments — here’s Part A, which covers Mon-Wed.  Part B will come out Thursday and catch you up on the end of the week.

Also, I’m breaking shows for each night into two categories:  Returning and New.  If a returning show has an asterisk next to it, it’s one I’m planning to watch.  Other than that, I won’t take up your time by commenting on the old stuff.

Monday, September 20

Returning:
Chuck – NBC – 8pm
Dancing with the Stars – ABC – 9pm
* House – Fox – 8pm
How I Met Your Mother – CBS – 8pm
Rules of Engagement – CBS – 8:30pm
* Castle – ABC – 10pm (Lick, lick on Nathan Fillion’s nose, slurrrp!)

New:

The Event – NBC – 9pm
Okay, look, I just can’t do it.  I cannot get sucked into this show.  I know what’s going to happen to this show (boot!) and I refuse to play along.  If Joseph Fiennes couldn’t keep people watching Flash Forward, what makes NBC think Jason Ritter and Laura Innes can do any better?  I mean, they’re nice and all, but they’re not exactly big draws.  And they’re certainly not big enough to conquer the wariness people have about these long-range-plans shows.  Invest lots and lots of time and bam!, you will be rewarded with no ending whatsoever.  THANKS FOR NOTHING, NETWORKS.  Forget it.  I’m out.

If The Event thrives and becomes the talk of the nation the way Lost was at first, I’ll consider catching up on DVD this summer and launching in full-steam ahead for season two.  Otherwise, I’m just going to ignore the whole thing so I don’t get burned YET AGAIN.

Lone Star – FOX- 9pm
This series, about a con man who has meticulously constructed two different lives for himself (two different jobs, two different families, two enormous piles of lies), might be worth watching for Jon Voight and David Keith.  Plus, con stories can be fun.  But this show has the potential to go in a sappy direction (apparently, he really loves either one or both of his marks), and that could be pretty lame.  I’ll give this one a couple of episodes and reassess later.

Mike & Molly – CBS 9:30pm
Two working class Chicago singles find love at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting in this sit-com.  I’m not a big sit-com watcher and am unlikely to bother with this one, but at least it sounds like it might have some good body-positive themes to it.  Let me know if you like it and I’ll give it a shot.

Chase – NBC – 10pm
This one’s about a female U.S. Marshall in charge of a team that includes your standard tough guy, intelligence guy, weapons/tactics lady, and more.  Cole Hauser co-stars, which is why I’ll be tuning in.  I’m sure this is just going to be standard crime drama fare, and it’ll have to be extremely well-written if it’s going to hold my attention.  But if it’s snappy, smart, and creative?  I’ll sign up for the long haul.  Kind of like these teamwork shows — lots of room for different types of characters and growth.

Hawaii Five-0 – CBS – 10pm
Oh, you know I’ll be tuning in for this one.  How could I not?  If nothing else, Alex O’Loughlin, Daniel Dae Kim, and Scott Caan provide an awful lot of eye-candy.  That alone might keep my interest piqued at least for a few episodes while the show gets a bit steadier on its feet (I’ve read the pilot is a bit of a disappointment, but most pilots are, right?  All that set-up work getting in the way of the fun stuff?).  If this is good, it’ll be really fun.  The question is:  will it be GOOD?  I’m game to find out.  At least for a few weeks.

Tuesday, September 21

Returning:
The Biggest Loser – NBC – 8pm
Glee – Fox – 8pm
*NCIS – CBS – 8pm
NCIS: LA – CBS – 9pm

New:
Raising Hope – Fox – 9pm
Sit-com about a 23 year-old guy who still lives with his parents.  Looooooser.

Running Wilde – Fox – 9:30pm
Sit-com starring Will Arnett from Arrested Development, as a rich, immature playboy trying to win (or buy) the heart of his childhood sweetheart (Keri Russell).  This could be funny, if only because the cast is good, but again, I’m not much of a sit-com fan and probably won’t bother here unless reports are overwhelmingly glowing.

Detroit 1-8-7 – ABC – 10pm
Another “gritty crime drama” this time set on the streets of Detroit.  It’s got a great cast:  Michael Imperioli from The Sopranos, James McDaniel from NYPD Blue, and Aisha Hinds from True Blood, but the description on the web site kind of makes it sound like every other “gritty crime drama” ever made (also, Hinds’s character is described as “sexy, edgy, and beautiful” which has me bored already).  I’ll tune in for 2-3 episodes (my standard for trying a new series — one cannot judge a new show by its pilot alone), but please, Detroit 1-8-7, kick some ass for me, would you?  Let’s see what you can do when you’re in charge of a whole show, Cristahfah.

Wednesday, September 22

Returning:
Hell’s Kitchen – Fox – 8pm
The Middle – ABC – 8pm
*Criminal Minds – CBS – 9pm
*Law & Order: SVU – NBC – 9pm
*Modern Family – ABC – 9pm
Cougar Town – ABC – 9:30pm

Just a quick note on tonight’s returning shows:  I don’t know why I’m still watching Criminal Minds or SVU.  Don’t ask me.  I just can’t stop.  Even though they are terrible. Terrible!  TERRIBLE!  Argh.  Torment.

Modern Family, on the other hand, is an absolute DELIGHT and is the only sit-com I’m watching regularly these days.  I came into it late last season, dismissing it initially as being yet another sit-com about dysfunctional families.  But no — this show is hilarious and sweet and so, so good.  I laugh out loud all the time.  Wednesday night cannot come fast enough for me!  I need a good Dunphy chortle, and I need it ASAP!

New:
Undercovers – NBC – 8pm
This is the newest series by J.J. Abrams, which is excuse enough to tune in.  It’s about two CIA agents who get married, quit the spy game, and open a catering company instead.  But when their best pal, a fellow spy, disappears, they decide it’s time to go back to what they do best — espionage — to try to rescue him.  I love a good spy show, and I’m hoping this one qualifies — my only concern is the incredibly lame double entendre of the title, which makes me worry this may be not as sharply written as, say, Alias was.  Dorksville, USA, writers.  Don’t make that kind of schlock a habit, yes?  Fingers crossed!

Better With You – ABC – 8:30pm
Sit-com about two sisters whose lives are on very different paths — one is unmarried but in a long-term relationship, the other one is recently engaged to a guy she’s only know for seven weeks.  Hilarity ensues.  I guess?  Blah. Yawn.

The Defenders – CBS – 10pm
This lawyer drama is about two Las Vegas defense attorneys, played by Jerry O’Connell and Jim Belushi.  One is serious and focused, the other crazy about fast cars and hot ladies.  Watch them butt heads on cases!  “Hey, live a little!”  “Hey, buckle down!”  I can see where this one is headed, and so can you, but with Jim Belushi and Jerry O’Connell involved, it might be an entertaining ride at least.  I may or may not bother — I’m going to fly by the seat of my pants on this one.

The Whole Truth – ABC – 10pm
Former law school classmates turned bitter rivals, New York prosecutor Kathryn Peale and hotshot defense lawyer Jimmy Brogan square off in high-profile cases.  You just know they’re gonna fall in love.  Rob Morrow and Maura Tierney are the two draws for this one — it’s a little hard for me to picture them having any chemistry, but I do love Tierney’s new hair (post-chemotherapy).

Possibly worth a shot, but man, can’t anybody think up anything new anymore?  I feel like I’ve seen every one of this week’s premieres a hundred times already.  I sense this is going to be the Season of Yawn for network television.  Creativity gets punished on the networks (Pushing Daisies, for example) — is mediocrity really the only thing that sells anymore?  Take some risks, for pity’s sake.  I’m bored over here!

IN ANY CASE, come back here Thursday for what’s happening the rest of the week, and hitten zee comments for discussion.  *mwah*