National Poetry Month 2/30: JAWS in 5-7-5

Amity Mayor:
You should have let the sheriff
Close the goddamn beach.

(Post your own Jaws haiku in comments!  Ten points to anyone who can work in the phrase “Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.”)



16 Responses to “National Poetry Month 2/30: JAWS in 5-7-5”

  1. Melody Says:

    Pizza movie night
    Floating body without skin
    Looks like my dinner

  2. megwood Says:

    I’d say “Grody,” but that rhymes with “Brody,” which is too much like real poetry.

  3. jo Says:

    Here’s to swimin’ with
    bow-legged women – ya swims
    beneath…oops…they’re gone!

  4. Liz Says:

    I can’t resist: Here’s
    to swimmin’ with bow-legged
    women – I did it!

  5. Tad Says:

    Bah-dum! Baaaaaaaaah-dum! Here’s
    to swimmin’ with bow-legged
    women – Baaaaaah-dum! BOOM!

  6. Tad Says:

    The life of a shark
    It’s not all that glamorous
    But the hours are good

  7. Tad Says:

    Floating in the sea
    Is that a seal or a boat?
    Let’s go take a look

  8. Trip Says:

    Out of the water
    The sheriff cries frantically
    Needs a bigger boat

  9. Trip Says:

    Big fish goes nom nom
    Scheider makes scuba tank bomb
    While keeping aplomb

  10. Mark W Bryan Says:

    My mom thought it wise
    To watch “Jaws” while at the beach
    Our towels stayed dry

  11. megwood Says:

    Facebook contributions for this one yesterday:

    Music. Ba dum… ba dum…
    Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
    Trumpets flourish! CHOMP!

    Chief Martin Brody
    Re-reading job description
    Need a bigger boat

    back-lit, undersea
    scissor-kicking limbs a-flail
    girl? seal? tasty snack.

    The Kintner boy floats
    Tousled seal-slick sun-kissed skin
    Cherry hued geyser

    rows of teeth clutching tank
    luckily shotgun appears to be in reach
    Ka Blam Jaws becomes chum

    Speaking of Kintner:
    Why didn’t you close the beach?!
    Sheriff gets a SLAP.

    Mrs. Kintner’s mad
    I let her boy get eaten
    Damn but she’s freckly

    John Williams needs theme
    Dvorak New World Symphony
    No one will notice.

    Lovely ladies on water skis
    Climb on shoulders to form a pyramid
    Never mind Jaws 3D sucked

    we’re gonna need a
    bigger boat for swimmin’
    with bowlegged women

    Scary shark movie
    I’m a scary movie wuss
    I never saw it

    When I think of “Jaws”,
    my brain always goes straight to
    the James Bond villain.

    Greg, you are funny
    Llyra, get the f’in hell out!
    Jaws is the bestest!

  12. rookling Says:

    Roy Scheider never im-
    Pressed me, nor Richard Dreyfuss,
    If I am honest.

  13. rookling Says:

    I think Spielberg is
    A hack. But at least it was
    Not that man Lucas!

  14. Corey Says:

    strap hanging on left
    big flappy ear on the right
    it’s Bad Hat Harry

  15. megwood Says:

    Oh, Corey, you just made my whole day with that one!

  16. Janel Says:

    Shark chewed up our boat,
    so we’ll swim for shore. “Show me
    the way to go home…”

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