The Trip List — Movie Quote Hall of Fame

Regular readers of this blog are probably familiar by now with commenter Trip and “quote wars,” a game he and I and the rest of you wackos often derail comment threads into (so not a stickler here for making sure comments stay on topic — topic schmopic, I say on that).

A few weeks back, a couple of us asked Trip for a list of his favorite movie lines, in part to better prep us for future wars (hey, that was my motive, at least), and at long, long last, the Trip List appears in print!  (Along with a graphic drawn by ME PERSONALLY, featuring a favorite line from the movie Airplane.  And yes, I won’t quit my day job and go into art, no worries, ya jerks.)

Here’s Trip’s intro:

Well, I’m really only brushing the surface here, and I’d probably face-palm at the mention of a few others I *should have* included here, nevertheless here’s a first list of quotes I like, which were more instantly memorable to me, and which I’ve used fairly regularly over the years on friends and co-workers alike…

And my follow-up intro is that if he missed any of your favorites, you know what to do, y’all.  Hit it!  (And oh, I know you will.  I know I will.  I know we all will.  We cool like that.)

Enjoy (and thanks for all the hard work, Trip!)!

THE TRIP LIST v.1.0 (edited to add the occasional self-serving link to a Boyfriend write-up or movie review where relevant, which was clearly not nearly as often as it should’ve been — I haven’t featured Bill Murray yet?  What the what?)

  • “I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum…and I’m all out of bubble gum.” – George Nada (Roddy Piper), They Live
  • “We are the music makers…and we are the dreamers of dreams.” – Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
  • “Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives, including your mother’s. And yours. I dare you to do better.” – Capt. Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood), Star Trek (2009)
  • “All right you primitive screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick!” – Ash (Bruce Campbell), Army of Darkness
  • “Gimme some sugar, baby.” – Ash (Bruce Campbell), Army of Darkness
  • “Bitch…you don’t have a future.” – Beatrix Kiddo (Uma Thurman), Kill Bill Pt. 2
  • “Tell me of your homeworld, Usul.” – Chani (Sean Young), Dune
  • “You need to be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how!” – Rhett Butler (Clark Gable), Gone with the Wind
  • “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!” – Auric Goldfinger (Gert Fröbe), Goldfinger
  • “Until at last, I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.” – Gandalf (Ian McKellen), Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • “Dang! You got shocks, pegs…lucky!” – Napoleon (Jon Heder), Napoleon Dynamite
  • “Usul, we have wormsign the likes of which even God has never seen.” – Stilgar (Everett McGill), Dune
  • “My name is a killing word.” – Paul Atreides (Kyle McLaughlin), Dune
  • “Brandy! Throw more brandy!” – Prince Hapnick (Jack Lemmon), The Great Race
  • “I crap bigger than you.” Curly (Jack Palance), City Slickers
  • “I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” – Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Aliens
  • “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” – Clemenza (Richard Castellano), The Godfather
  • “I like them French fried potaters.” – Karl (Billy Bob Thornton), Sling Blade
  • “Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “Game over, man, game over!” Private Hudson (Bill Paxton), Aliens
  • “Well that’s great, that’s just fuckin’ great, man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We’re in some real pretty shit now man…” Pvt. Hudson (Bill Paxton), Aliens
  • “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!” – President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers), Dr. Strangelove
  • “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses.” – Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd), The Blues Brothers
  • “If you’d have fought one whit below your abilities, I’d have given you a good scar to remind you.”  – Gurney Halleck (Patrick Stewart), Dune
  • “Only I didn’t say ‘Fudge.’ I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the ‘F-dash-dash-dash’ word!” – Ralphie narrating as adult (Jean Shepherd), A Christmas Story
  • “Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.” – Ralphie narrating as adult (Jean Shepherd), A Christmas Story
  • “Well, I’m a mushroom-cloud-layin’ motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I’m Superfly T.N.T., I’m the Guns of the Navarone!” – Jules (Samuel L. Jackson), Pulp Fiction
  • “Well, that’s a huge noggin. That’s a virtual planetoid!” – Stuart Mackenzie (Mike Myers), So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • “I’m not kidding, that boy’s head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Now that was offside, wasn’t it? He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.”  – Stuart Mackenzie (Mike Myers), So I Married an Axe Murderer
  • “The fact that you’ve got ‘replica’ written down the side of your guns…and the fact that I’ve got ‘Desert Eagle .50’ written down the side of mine…should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now…fuck off!” – Bullet Tooth Tony (Vinnie Jones), Snatch
  • “Well, he should have armed himself if he’s going to decorate his saloon with my friend.” – William Munny (Clint Eastwood), Unforgiven
  • “I’d like to think that the last thing that went through his head, other than that bullet, was to wonder how the hell Andy Dufresne ever got the best of him.” – Red narrating (Morgan Freeman), The Shawshank Redemption
  • “Ha ha! You didn’t count on my loyal army of prostitutes, did you?” – Mitch (Norm MacDonald), Dirty Work
  • “You will learn a system of self-defense that I learned after two seasons of fighting in the octagon.” – Rex (Diedrich Bader), Napoleon Dynamite
  • “I ain’t got time to bleed!” – Blain (Jesse Ventura), Predator
  • “The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.” – Tyrell (Joe Turkel), Blade Runner
  • “Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say ‘YES!'” – Winston (Ernie Hudson), Ghostbusters
  • “Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.” – Dr. Pete Venkman (Bill Murray), Ghostbusters
  • “I hate Illinois Nazis.” – Jake Blues (John Belushi), The Blues Brothers
  • “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Oswald was a fag.” – McManus (Stephen Baldwin), The Usual Suspects
  • “I like how you burritoed me in the sofa cushions.” – Alex Goran (Vera Farmiga), Up In the Air
  • “Mikey, why don’t you tell that nice girl you love her? I love you with all-a my heart, if I don’t see-a you again soon, I’m-a gonna die!”  – Clemenza (Richard Castellano), The Godfather
  • “Training is NOTHING. Will is EVERYTHING,” – Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson), Batman Begins

30 Responses to “The Trip List — Movie Quote Hall of Fame”

  1. Liz Says:

    YAY FOR THE TRIP LIST!! 🙂
    Here’s my favorite quote: “There’s no crying in baseball!”
    (Tom Hanks as the coach in “A League of Their Own”)

  2. Lisa Says:

    that is a great list, but what is KEEEEEELING me is the number of “dune” quotes on it. i gotta say, i never thought of “dune” as particularly quotable. whenever i think of that movie, all i can see is alicia witt [right? i’m pretty sure that’s who it was] as the black-robed mini-priestess at the very end rasping “how can this be? for he is the kwisatz hederach!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

    all very dramatic-like.

  3. Trip Says:

    Meg – Liz’s Tom Hanks quote can be an official entry to the Trip List…that one is indeed one for the ages.

    Lisa: Dune is nothing but one long series of primo quotes….that’s why I love it so.

    It’s so over the top with its Shakespearean-epic-in-space schmaltz, its amazingly lavish production values combined with appallingly cheesy FX, its overall weirdness thanks to David Lynch…and lots of people whispering about spice.

    I mean, it’s scored by Toto and it even has Sting chewing up the scenery and spitting it back out. What’s not to love?!

    “It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. ” Groovy!

  4. Lisa Says:

    trip — i am right there with you in loving “dune.” which i’ve long hidden from the rest of the world. until now.

  5. megwood Says:

    Shit, I’m going to have to watch Dune now? I can’t get out of it?

  6. megwood Says:

    By the way, there’s a startling dearth of Westerns in your list, Trip. This is the genre in which I will be assisting shortly. I’ll start by just posting the entire script to Tombstone and move onto Clint Eastwood from there.

  7. lisa Says:

    trip will be my hero if he can come up with an answer to this one: there is a scene early on where linda hunt [“shadout mapes” — what a ridiculously awesome name] says something — i think she’s in one of those shadowy passageways — that is so unbelievably over-the-top silly that it makes me cry. tears of pure joy, that is. i tried to find it yesterday, and couldn’t.

    do you know what i’m talking about, trip?

  8. Trip Says:

    You mean the scene where the hunter-seeker assassin dealie is hovering in Paul’s room, and Shadout Mapes comes in the door attracting its attention, and Paul grabs it, ramming it into the wall to save her life?

    I think she warns Paul of the traitor in the Atriedes household…can’t remember her line, though…have to break out my well-worn DVD tonight and see…

  9. Trip Says:

    Wow, Tombstone quotes…let’s see….best ones to be added to the Trip List, of course:

    “You called down the thunder..well now you got it!” Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell)

    “I’m your huckleberry” – Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer)

    And the best one by Wyatt Earp – more like four or five lines, but whatever works:

    “The Cowboys are finished, you understand? I see a red sash, I kill the man wearing it! So run, you cur! Tell all the other curs the law’s coming!
    You tell ’em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…
    HELL’S COMING WITH ME!”

  10. megwood Says:

    I quote Tombstone incessantly. Usually Holliday.

    “He’s down by the creek, walkin’ on water.”

    “Why Kate, you’re not wearing a bustle — how LEWD.”

    “You’re a daisy if you do.”

    “Evidently Mr. Ringo’s an educated man. Now I really hate him.”

    He also plays my favorite Chopin piece in that film, which is only one more reason to adore Val Kilmer (he’s actually playing it!).

  11. megwood Says:

    That is, “Frederic Fucking Chopin,” I should say.

  12. Trip Says:

    BTW, there’s no longer any shame in loving Dune. Meg, do get reacquainted with it, you won’t be sorry. It’s right in your wheelhouse, if only for the scene where Baron Harkkonen is having his lesions lovingly tended to by his whacked-out doctor.

    “Bring me that floating fat man!”

  13. megwood Says:

    Lisa’s about to come visit me, in fact. I believe I will attempt timing a Netflix DVD copy for arrival right around then.

  14. Liz Says:

    Frederic F***ing Chopin – I know that’s not your middle name!

    The first “Dune” book was way good; none of the others were! And the movie was, IMHO, way dumb (yes, I saw it when it first came out!)!

  15. jo Says:

    “I want my two dollars” (Johnny, Better Off Dead)

    If I had two dollars for every time I’ve said this…

    Liz – Regarding Dune, I think really liking the book contributed to my really hating the movie. Maybe now enough time has passed that I can watch it again.

  16. jo Says:

    Oh, and “Hell with this – I’m gonna live!” (Kaylee, Serenity)

  17. Verna Says:

    “Inconceivable!”

    “You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Make sure you add the proper accent)

    “I’m going to cut your heart out with a spoon!” “Why a spoon, cousin, why not an axe or a? …Because it’s dull, you twit, it’ll hurt more!”

  18. Trip Says:

    SWEET MOTHER OF GOD how could I have overlooked The Princess Bride?!

    Here’s that face-palm I mentioned earlier:

    \ **** /
    – SLAP –
    / **** \

    BTW, best Kaylee line ever:

    “Going on a year now I ain’t had nothin’ twixt my nethers weren’t run on batteries!”

  19. megwood Says:

    “I cried like a baby, a hungry, angry baby.” (More Serenity)

  20. Trip Says:

    Speaking of Airplane,

    “Do you like gladiator movies, Billy?”

  21. megwood Says:

    “Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffin’ glue. . .” (A favorite Facebook status update of mine, I might add.)

  22. alisa Says:

    “He doesn’t even have a license Lisa” (Weird Science)

    “Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don’t hear from me within the hour… you take this ship and you come and you rescue me.” (serenity)

    “Do you want to be Captain of this ship?” ‘Yes”. “Well you can’t, I am.” (Firefly ) ( I think I got that quote right???)

  23. Florence Says:

    “Those aren’t pillows!” Neal (Steve Martin)/ Planes Trains and Automobiles

  24. Liz Says:

    Wow! What great quotes everyone has!
    Jo, I bet you’re right about “Dune.”
    Trip, I’m honored and flattered that you thought so highly of my quote.
    I can’t decide if this quote is a great one, or the cheesiest of all:
    “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” (Scarlett O’Hara – “Gone With the Wind”)

  25. jo Says:

    Oh, wait…how could I forget my all-time favorite quote from my all-time favorite move of…well…all time?

    “Have I been a good wife?” (Judith, Dark Victory)

  26. Liz Says:

    Meg, what do you say to the idea that you use the title “Trip List” for a regular feature, listing favorite movie (and/or TV quotes)? It could be a list contributed each time by a different loyal reader, or something that you and Trip cook us each time, and then people can add comments.

  27. C-Rob Says:

    I thought I was the only one that quotes Dune. But what about, “The spice must flow”, or, “I will kill him” and one that I use whenever an employee finally gets it: “Usul no longer needs a weirdling module.” Sigh, but nobody at works gets it. I noticed Conan quotes missing. My very favorite comes from when Conan is asked, “what is best in life”? He responds, “crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.”

  28. megwood Says:

    Oh man, C-Rob, I’m totally going to start using “Usul no longer needs a weirding module” like that. BRILLIANT!

  29. Chris Says:

    One of my favorite lines to paraphrase is, “Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him.” I use that for everything, even when it doesn’t make a bit of sense.

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned Casablanca, even if you set aside the more familiar ones (“Here’s looking at you kid”, “Of all the gin-joints”, etc.)

    “I don’t mind a parasite. I object to a cut-rate one.”

    Yvonne: Where were you last night?
    Rick: That’s so long ago, I don’t remember.

    Major Strasser: What is your nationality?
    Rick: I’m a drunkard.
    Captain Renault: That makes Rick a citizen of the world.

    Some of the best lines come from Claude Rains.

    Captain Renault: I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
    [a croupier hands Renault a pile of money]
    Croupier: Your winnings, sir.
    Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much.

    “How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that.”

    “Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects.”

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