MOVIE: Eagle Eye (2008)

This is a TERRIBLE movie.  It’s just TERRIBLE.  There’s not a single moment in this thriller that is even remotely plausible.  Absolutely TERRIBLE.  Utterly and completely TERRIBLE.

TERRIBLE, I TELL YOU!

And yet, despite the fact that THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE (!), I confess I was actually kind of enjoying it there for the first hour or so.  It was moving quickly, I didn’t quite understand the inanity of what was going on, and Shia — well, heck.  Handsome!

The movie is about a young man (LeBeouf) and a young woman (Monoghan) who are complete strangers to each other, but who both receive a strange phone call one day from a very calm woman telling them they have been “activated” and must do as they are told or they or a loved one will die.

The woman is seemingly able to manipulate anything controlled by a computer, from cell phones to electronic message boards to transit systems to ATM machines to UPS trucks to, like, EVERYTHING.  And using that power, she is able to track both characters, manipulate them, and ultimately send them colliding right into each other.  Finally getting them together, the woman begins to give them very specific orders that, it soon becomes clear, can’t possibly be for the sake of “national security” as she keeps insisting to them they are.  Unsure what the hell is going on, but terrified of what the woman is clearly able to do to anyone who defies her, the two go along with her instructions until. . .

Well, hell, to be honest, once we got to the “until” part, I was struggling not to doze off.  That’s how totally stupid and boring it was.  Blah blah blah evil computer systems blah blah blah.  Don’t ever create an AI system that has no fail-safe, people.  Have we learned nothing from the movie 2001?  God.

Anyway, if you’re a fan of Shia’s, this might, miiiiiiight, be worth a rental.  He’s cute in it and fun to watch.  Monoghan I have to say has failed to impress me in a single outing since her delightful work in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.  No matter what, she always seems really background-y and snoozer-y to me.  And she pretty much is both those made-up descriptors in this as well.  Other than Shia-love, in other words, there’s absolutely no reason to bother with this piece ‘o crapper-y.  Not Michelle-love, not Billy Bob Thornton-love, not thriller flick-love.  IT GOTS NO LOVE, in other words.

Should’ve listened to Ebert.  Will I never learn?

p.s.  Ethan Embry was in this?!  WHERE?  How did I miss him?  When I saw his name in the credits, I was stunned and for a moment, was tempted to watch it again to try to find him.  But, dude, Ethan, my man — I love you a lot, brotha, BUT NOT THAT MUCH.

[Netflix me | Buy me]

Genre:  Thriller
Cast:  Shia LeBeouf, Michelle Monoghan, Rosario Dawson, Billy Bob Thornton, Ethan Embry

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4 Responses to “MOVIE: Eagle Eye (2008)”

  1. Jessie Says:

    OK, gotta respectfully disagree here. The husband and I saw this at the dollar theater (where we see most things), so we didn’t have really big expectations going in, but it was OK. I mean, really. It was fun, right? Until we got to the end. THE ENDING IS CRAP. Seriously, the last 3 minutes are ridiculous, and make the whole movie seem worthless. But up to that point it was enjoyable. (Glaringly, cheesily obvious references to 2001 notwithstanding.)

    But then I like Shia quite a bit. I’ll put up with a lot for him.

  2. Lizzie Says:

    Wow – good cast. I’m so often suckered by casting … and then disappointed with the resulting film. This one sounds like another that SHOULD have been good, but for some reason, wasn’t! Gotta see some of the Oscar contenders … before the awards show! Boy, Heath Ledger seems to be picking up a lot of posthumous awards! I think he deserved it.

  3. Brie Says:

    Well, Shia does have great powers of persuasion over me. Ethan has even more! Tell ya what, since I haven’t seen it yet, I’ll try to find him for you and tell you who he was in it. Hmmm, Where’s Ethan?”
    It’ll be my new game on movie night.

  4. Dixie-Ann Belle Says:

    I agree with you Meg. Saw this movie with friends and was astounded cause they quite liked it. As you say, Shia is cute, fun and watchable, but despite this, I felt no real interest in the fate of the two main characters. Pretty forgettable in my mind.

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