VP Smackdown Scorecard

Yep, I kept track.  How could I not?

Number of times the candidates said the following words or phrases:

Main Street:  Biden 1, Palin 3

Fundamental:  Biden 8, Palin 0

“Joe Six Pack”:  Biden 0, Palin 1 (p.s. I hate this expression)

Hockey:  Biden 0, Palin 1

Heck, Darn, or Doggonit:  Biden 0, Palen 5

“Nucular” instead of “Nuclear”: Biden 0, Palin 2 (though, admittedly, she got it right MOST of the time)

Maverick:  Biden 4, Palin 987 (give or take)

“Bosniacs”: Biden 1, Palin 0 (p.s. they should totally adopt this moniker officially — aDORable!)

[Audible sigh]:  Biden 2, Palin 0

Number of times *I* said the following words or phrases:

Beeyotch, shut your yap:  To Palin 8, To Biden 2

No seriously, SHUT UP:  To Palin 4, To Biden 1

Yeah!:  To Palin 0, To Biden 4

WORD! [emphatically]:  To Palin 0, To Biden 13

Word UP! [emphatically, with fist bump to the cat] :To Palin 0, To Biden 2

Was there a noun in that sentence?:  To Palin 1, To Biden 0

No, you canNOT call him Joe, thankyouverymuch:  To Palin 1, To Biden 0

The verdict according to Meg:

Palin: She’s purdy.  She’d clearly studied hard and I thought she did well.  Very relaxed and easy-going.   Even said “Ahmadinejad” three times correctly, which is more than one could say for McCain last week.  If I didn’t already know she was the antichrist (in lipstick!), I might actually have liked her a little bit after this.  Unfortunately: ANTICHRIST.  Also, when she smiles, I can’t help but think, “STEPFORD WIFE,” and then I feel like a sexist.    Winner on Style, Moderate Loser on Substance, Loser on Not Making Me Feel Like a Sexist For Calling Her A Stepford Wife.  Shoot.

Biden: He has old man teeth, but I still think he’s a total hottie.  I love him, especially when he cries (hugs for Joe!).  Except for the two audible sighs (dude!), I thought he impressively kept his cool, which was my primary concern going into this thing.  His answers were intelligent, thoughtful, and clearly demonstrated his knowledge and positions.  His patience was masterful and he has a thoroughly charming smile.  Winner on Substance, Loser on Not Audibly Sighing, Winner on Not Being A Dick.

Winner overall: Joe Biden.  But, of course, you knew I was going to say that.

11 Responses to “VP Smackdown Scorecard”

  1. Lorraine Says:

    What a disappointment! The debate that is. As usual Meg your writeup is great. Well, I lasted 30 minutes until I realized that both of them were under control and it was just going to be 1.5 hours of talking points.

    I was disappointed in Gwen Ifil, who I like on Washington Week. Even I was confused by the way she was moderating the debate and the candidates seemed unsure if they could respond to the other candidate or she was going to ding them for not answering a question.

    Joe Six-Pack: does anyone like to be called that?? Palin is definitely a Stepford Wife but kudos to her for studying and being able to spew all those talking points, even if some of them were outright lies.

  2. Nicholas Whyte Says:

    Actually the Bosniacs have adopted that term officially! See the Bosnian Constitutions, last sentence of the Preamble.

  3. Trip Says:

    Just as I suspected, they dressed her up like Minnie Pearl with her aw-shucks folksiness (did that start to grate after 5 minutes or what?), handed her the official GOP Debate for Dummies handbook, and wound her up to go onstage.

    Sarah was the epitome of the Republican android housewife up there, but I doubt she impressed anyone outside of church.

    Advantage: Joe.

  4. megwood Says:

    Oh AWESOME! I’m glad to hear “Bosniacs” is actually the official term, because I totally love it. SO much more fun to say than “Bosnians.”

    I loved the way Sarah got up there and said, “I’m not going to answer the questions the way you’re used to candidates answering the questions. Instead, I’m going to talk directly to Americans.” A very clever way of making it seem like NOT answering the questions (which she almost never did) was intentional instead of the result of her not KNOWING the answers.

    Whoever is coaching her is pretty smart, I’ll give them that much.

  5. Kathleen Says:

    Oh da heck, her folksiness was darned tootin’ begging to annoy even little ole’ me. Good gravy, this was painful. I have to admit I was disappointed when I realized that she wasn’t going to make any Katie Couric level of mistakes. She did a good job of repeating back what she was taught, but she looked like an exceptionally well programmed robot. She had that look of blank fear after being asked a question, you could see the programming move behind her eyes, then she looked straight in the camera and repeated her talking points. The point in the debate when I feel that Biden won is when he nearly broke down talking about knowing what is was like to nearly lose a child. Palin didn’t react to his emotion – she wasn’t programmed to. Instead, she looked into the camera and said that McCain is a maverick. Sad.

    Biden demonstrated that he understands the issues and can apply them. Palin demonstrated her ability to memorize speeches. It was telling as far as that went.

    On a personal level, and as a woman, I am still deeply offended that Palin was picked for this ticket. She doesn’t represent women and she certainly doesn’t represent me.

  6. megwood Says:

    Biden knows what it’s like to ACTUALLY lose a child — not just almost lose one. That is, he knows what it’s like to lose one child (and a wife) and almost lose two kids on top of that. Yeesh. Hugs for Joe again!

    That was a nice moment for me too, though — nice to see him look a bit more human because he’s usually pretty tough/cool. And that was also a really terrific point he made there — that Palin shouldn’t act like he doesn’t know the hardships single parents face. It felt like the right place to bring that subject up, too, without feeling like he was just WAITING for the perfect moment to throw out his pain as some kind of sympathy ploy (you know, like McCain does constantly with his references to Hanoi).

    But Palin was right not to react to his emotions, I thought. I would’ve reacted the same way she did in that situation. Calling attention to it could’ve come off as patronizing, for one thing (“Say it ain’t so, Joe!”), or, worse, too “girly.” What was she supposed to say there? “Sorry for your loss?” “You’re right, I’m a doofus?” Better to just change the subject, which is, I suspect, what Biden would’ve done had she gotten choked up herself at some point. At least, I would’ve considered his changing the subject instead of drawing attention to it “gentlemanly” behavior in that situation. Same goes for the vice versa, I think.

  7. Alisa Says:

    I love that she said that she comes from a family of teachers. Do those family members believe in Sex Ed in School?????

  8. Lizzie Says:

    I HATE SARAH PALIN! And I think Kathleen, you really have it right about her “folksiness” (I can’t STAND that – she sounds like a reject from “Fargo”), and her “programming.” I especially appreciated your closing line: “She doesn’t represent women, and she certainly doesn’t represent me!”

    Meg, your write-up was, again, very clever, and to the point. I just have one disagreement: I thought she said “nucular” a WHOLE BUNCH of times, and NEVER got it right! I started getting hypnotized by it after a while; I couldn’t believe she could get it wrong so often! And I loved how Biden basicall said, “don’t think that just because I’m a man, I don’t know what it’s like to lose/worry about a child. Way to go to counter “reverse discrimination!”

    Kudos to him for behaving in such a professional and sincere way. I really felt for him, every time Palin tried to get away with some sort of crap, simply because she’s a cute woman! I had been finding Hillary Clinton a bit abrasive, but, boy, I miss her now! Can you imagine the V.P. “Smackdown” if it had been her against Palin? Hillary would have DECIMATED Sarah … and it would have been okay … because they’re both women!

    I don’t dare try to put in a link here, because I may lose this whole comment. But go to “You Tube,” and look up “Tina Fey as Sarah Palin.” It’s scary – they look SO much alike, and she hardly has to exagerrate at all to totally lampoon Palin! I came across a parody of the debate with her as Palin, Queen Latifah as Gwen Ifill, and some guy, who was pretty good, as Biden! I thought it was pretty funny, and Queen Latifah’s reactions are priceless!

  9. megwood Says:

    I was listening extremely carefully to Palin’s pronunciation of “nuclear” — she was getting it right most of the time, but you had to really listen closely to catch the enunciation.

    In any case, I don’t really think that matters too much, all things considered. It’s not necessarily a sign of ignorance to say it wrong — some of it may be her accent. There are way better things to criticize her for.

    Did you see the first Tina Fey one, where it was Palin and Hillary? That was my favorite of the three she’s done so far. So funny!!

  10. Lorraine Says:

    I loved the first Fey/Palin vs. Poehler/Hillary skit, especially when Fey said that anything is possible if you “just want it enough”. Then Poehler rips off part of the podium and says something like, “yeah, I just didn’t want it enough”. Really funny stuff. At least at one point Fey/Palin responded “I don’t know what that is” which you would never hear in a real debate.

  11. Marni Says:

    Magoo, This made me laugh out loud. Especially doing the tallys of what YOU said!

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