Holy Frak, It’s September! New TV This Week!

Welcome to autumn, everyone! Time to get back to talking about television!  The fall season of premieres actually started last night with TNT’s newest show, Raising the Bar.  But since I didn’t get this up in time to alert you to that one, I decided I’d do the next best thing: watch it, review it for you, and then tell you when it was going to rerun so you could catch it later in the week.  Aren’t I nice?

In any case, here’s what’s on/back this week — I’ll be posting on the blog every Sunday or Monday from now through October with the schedule for the new/returning series I’m planning to watch myself.  If I miss one of your favorites, please feel free to let others know about it in comments!

And by the way, if you aren’t watching ABC Family’s new series The Middleman, YOU ARE DUMB.  I’m sorry — it simply has to be said.

Monday, September 1st

10pm, TNT: Raising the Bar, Season 1.  Here’s my review:  SUCKED!

See?  Now you don’t have to worry about having missed it!

WOW, was this show ever horrible!   I confess I only made it through the first twenty minutes, so I suppose it’s possible it turned into brilliant drama two minutes after I threw the remote at the TV with a tortured cry of “Aaaaaarrggghhhh!” (missed, thankfully).  But somehow, I doubt it.  The scene that finally made me bail was the scene in which it became clear that one of the primary characters of the series, the judge played by Jane Kaza-too-many-vowels-and-zeds, was being drawn as a judge who would do whatever she felt like doing, regardless of ethics (or even, say, the law),  but could be easily coerced into acting ethically/legally by her smarmy, young, adorable legal aide.  Puke.

It’s possible I might’ve been okay with a plot element like that 10 years ago.  But in this day and age where every time I read the newspaper, I’m hit with yet another story about abuse of power in the government (hi, Sarah Palin!), I just have no patience for it whatsoever.  It’s not entertaining — it’s simply offensive.  And what’s more, here it was also just plain stupid.

Even worse, though, was Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who started off annoying me weeks ago with his RIDICULOUSLY bad hair, and only got more insufferable as the pilot progressed last night.  We’re clearly supposed to side with him — the passionate, crusading, young public defender — but everything about his behavior was so childishly unprofessional (rolling his eyes at the judge, tapping his fingers impatiently, sighing loudly with exasperation as he threw his arms up dramatically whenever the DA made an objection, looking disheveled in general) that I found him utterly obnoxious.

I just wanted to smack him and tell him that, actually, deportment matters when you’re a professional, you noob, and if you truly give a rat’s ass about your client, your INNOCENT client, you’ll stop melodramatically pushing your stupid hair around and cease and desist your total douchebaggery in court. Pardon my French.

Anyway, if you still want to see it even though IT’S TERRIBLE, I’m sure TNT will be rerunning it at least once before the week is out.  I can’t in good conscience go look up when for you, though, because that would make me an accessory after the fact.  Or, like, guilty of first degree aggravated assault.  I can’t do the time, so I better not do the crime.  If only Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s hair felt the same way.

Tuesday, September 2nd

8-10pm, CW: 90210, Season 1.  Oh please, like you AREN’T going to watch this?  If you’re my age (cough cough thirty-ffffsomething cough cough), you know where your butt will be tonight at 8pm.  It will be on the couch with the tube tuned to the CW.  JUST LIKE MINE.  I have no plans to actually stick with this one unless it totally blows me away (so unlikely!), but there’s no way in HELL I’m missing the pilot.  Both Kelly and Brenda will be back (as well as Peach Pit owner Nat, yay).  Even better, though there won’t be a Dylan to get the girls a-brawlin’, there’s apparently a VERY cute English teacher, which I’m sure will be even more fun.  Like Dylan — but with brains! What’s not to love?

10pm, FX: The Shield, Season 7 (final season).  I CANNOT WAIT (and as a Dish Network subscriber, I won’t have to, as this will be on at 7pm for me instead of 10 — nyah!).  Man, I really hope Vic gets to whack someone in the side of the head with a phone book this season, because that’s always my favorite part of this show.

Oh crikey, that’s a terrible thing to say, and I am a terrible person for having said it.  AT LEAST I’M BEING HONEST.

Wednesday, September 3rd

8-10pm, CW: America’s Next Top Model, Season 11.  I almost gave up on this show last season, because the fighting, OH, the FIGHTING!: it came early, it came often.  But then they were so clearly rigging the whole thing so the plus-sized model would win, and I couldn’t bail without seeing her crowned, even though a piece of me knew she probably didn’t deserve it.  And also, that she was a total brat.  Then again, who among us wasn’t a total brat in our late teens and early 20’s?  I mean, except for me, of course.  I’ve always been this nice.

Mostly I just tune in to see Tyra’s hair.  It never fails to inspire.

8-10pm, Fox: Bones, Season 4.  This season’s two hour premiere takes Bones and Angel (oh, you know who I mean) to Paris.  THE CITY OF LOVE.  I have two words for Bones this year:  Moon. Lighting.  Don’t make me warn you again.  NO KISSING!!

I’m actually still incredibly peeved at this show for what they did to Zack last season, when everybody — EVERYBODY! — knew Sweets was really the serial killer.  The dude is perpetually happy AND he’s a psychiatrist.  That’s two out of the three criteria for mass murder, right there.  But, I’m holding out hope that they’ll come to their senses and let Zack back into the lab.  And then do a crossover episode with Dexter that ends with Sweets in pieces at the bottom of the ocean.  Oh shut up, I can DREAM, can’t I?

10pm, FX: Sons of Anarchy, Season 1.  Here’s everything I know about this show:

It’s about biker gangs

It’s got an animated flaming skull on its web site

It’s on FX, so it will feature graphic language, violence, and sex

It stars ex-Boyfriend Charlie Hunnam and ex-X-Files boss Mitch Pileggi — WITH TATTOOS.

SIGN ME UP!

10pm, Bravo:  Top Design, Season 2.  I really enjoyed this show last year, a reality competition for interior designers, and was a bit worried it had gotten the boot.  Nope — it’s back!  I look forward to seeing what totally wacky and impractical things this year’s crop of decorators come up with.  Heck, maybe I’ll finally get inspired to paint a room in my own house.  Or, like, make myself a throw pillow or something.  Who knows.

Okay, gang, that’s it for premieres this week, at least in terms of things I’m planning to watch.  Tune in early next week for a heads-up on the second week of September on the Tube of Boob!

27 Responses to “Holy Frak, It’s September! New TV This Week!”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    The only show on this list that I’m going to watch is Bones. As for 90210, I didn’t watch it the first time around and I aint gonna watch it the 2nd. 🙂

  2. Alisa Says:

    Sorry, that Anonymous was me.

  3. Summer Says:

    Hi Meg – I am a long time reader, but this is my first time commenting on your website. I just want to say that I only got 10 minutes into Raising the Bar before I bailed last night. I love The Closer, so I thought I would give this show a shot. Thanks for the rest of the list for new tv this week. Are you going to continue throughout September?

    -summer

  4. megwood Says:

    Glad I’m not the only one who just couldn’t stand it, Summer! I love “The Closer” too — it’s one of my favorites and keeps getting better and better with each passing season!

    I’m planning a weekly post (Sunday or Monday) from now until the end of October with details on what is coming back or starting up that week, so check back for the skinny! The real onslaught starts the week of September 22 and runs through about mid-October.

  5. Sally Says:

    Regarding your description of “Sons of Anarchy”, which I have never heard of before now, all I have to say is:

    WHAT WHAT WHAT I MUST WATCH THIS.

  6. megwood Says:

    Cool, Sally! Except, don’t come back later and blame me if it stinks! I just like flaming skulls, yo!

  7. Alisa Says:

    Meg – Saw the first episode of True Blood (won’t say how), but it’s good. I couldn’t remember where I’d seen the “main” vampire, and so of coarse it drove me nuts until I did and then I remembered he was in a bbc show I love Cold Feet. So I did a search of what else he had been in and I found out he was in The Starter Wife, but I think because I didn’t actually like that movie I must have blocked him out. LOL

  8. megwood Says:

    Good to know, Alisa! I’ll keep an eye for it to hit DVD!

    I never watched “The Starter Wife,” either, but they’ve turned that one into a series now too.

  9. Verna Says:

    I will not watch 90210! (she chants hypnotically to herself, hoping it will work)

  10. Lorraine Says:

    Meg – I made it through the whole hour of Raising the Bar and the whole show sucked! Everything was contrived and over the top and there was way too much yelling.

    Bones – this is the show I’m most looking forward to this week. I love this show, it has great characters! I’m firmly behind the Hodgins and Angela pairing. Hope they don’t mess that up. The “Zack is Gormogon” storyline was ridiculous so they have a lot to make up for.

    Sons of Anarchy – I’ll be watching this for Ron Perlman. I’m still in love with his Vincent from “Beauty and the Beast”. The man has a great voice.

    Alisa – I’ll probably wait for the dvds to see True Blood but I’m glad to hear you liked it. I’m always up for a good vampire story.

  11. jo Says:

    I’ll be gnawing on Bones tonight…I wanted to tape 90210 for later, when I can watch it in secret, with the blinds drawn and the door locked and a bag over my head, just in case, but couldn’t remember how to set the VCR.

    Um, yes, I still have a VCR, and no, I don’t have TIVO. Don’t judge me!

    I totally hear you on the no kissing in Bones thing. If anyone is going to kiss Angel, it should be me.

    Also, did you realize Gormogon spelled backwards is “Nogomrog”? I think they should run with that.

  12. megwood Says:

    Test message

  13. megwood Says:

    If anybody is having problems getting their comments to show up here, please email me at meg@megwood.com? I’m trying to figure out if there is a widespread problem, or an isolated one.

  14. MegB Says:

    Testing

  15. Eva Says:

    re: Sons of Anarchy – shouldn’t Ron Perelman be an ex Boyfriend by now?

  16. megwood Says:

    Never been a big fan of Ron’s. Maybe that will change with Anarchy?

  17. Lizzie Says:

    I’m still “Liz,” but more and more people are calling me “Lizzie,” and Meg suggested I try using another name to submit. So, here goes:

    Okay! First of all, I’m glad to say that my husband and I are NOT DUMB! We LOVE “The Middleman!” But I think the season is – sniff – over now! Next – I totally agree with “Anonymous” – sorry! Alisa! – I didn’t go near “90210” the first time around, and I ain’t gonna watch it the second!

    I also can’t wait for “The Shield” (except that I’ve been waiting since, like, March) and “Bones.” Meg, I love your idea about “Sweets!” He SO should have been the “gorgonzola killer,” and for him to show up on “Dexter” as a victim would be so – should I say it? – sweet!

    I’m so glad you thought “Raising the Bar” sucked. I like Jane Kazma-who’sy, but I was so turned off by Mark-Paul (or is it Paul-Mark?)’s hair in the pictures of the show that I completely avoided it.

    As for “Sons of Anarchy” … well, maybe I am dumb! For a long time, I thought it was a commercial for something like, say, Nike! And all those “model” and “design” shows you seem to like … well, all I can say is: Ick! So, okay, okay – we may not agree on everything, but I agree with a lot of what you say. And I’m so glad you warned us about “Untraceable!” Keep up the good work!

  18. Lizzie Says:

    OMG! It worked! Thanx, Meg!

  19. megwood Says:

    “Gorgonzola killer” — that made me laugh out loud, Liz!

  20. megwood Says:

    Jo, you’ll be happy to learn that 90210 repeats tomorrow night (Thurs) at 8pm. It’s not too late! I haven’t seen it yet myself, though (I’m recording it tomorrow myself because my DVR had the NERVE to bump it for The Daily Show (which airs at 8pm for me because Dish Network’s cable channels are all on East Coast time). AS IF politics could be more important than Brenda and Kelly! We’re going to have to have a little talking-to, me and the DVR, that’s fo’shizzle).

  21. Lorraine Says:

    I don’t know if this will make Meg’s Sun/Mon posting for next week so I want to give a plug for “Feasting on Waves” on the Food Network on Sunday 9/7 at 10pm. The host is Alton Brown of “Good Eats”. He previously did two other limited runs of “Feasting on Asphalt”. This is not a cooking show. He’s going to be on a boat in the Caribbean visiting different local eating places to show local cuisine and local characters. It will be fun and there will be some interesting and shocking food and people.

  22. Alisa Says:

    I’d like to add a show that I enjoy watching. bizarre foods w/andrew zimmerman.

  23. Lorraine Says:

    Just watched “Sons of Anarchy”. I should not like this show (too much macho posturing) but I found it all very interesting. And Charlie Hunnam is absolutely mesmerizing. He shows a nice range of emotion. I saw him in the UK Queer as Folk long ago but he was much younger. He certainly has matured nicely 😉

  24. Ellen Says:

    Okay ladies, I’m just going to weigh in here and say that EVERYTHING I’ve seen in the new fall TV lineup sucks ass! “True Blood” was laughable & so was “90210” (and yes, I was a huge fan of the original & I’m older than you Meg). Even this new season of “Project Runway” is the lamest thing ever!

    I can’t wait for the Coco Chanel movie on Lifetime tonight… Yeah, I’m really going to buy Shirley Maclaine as the aging fashion icon!… NOT!

    The only show that has been remotely entertaining to me was the season opener of “Entourage”… Ari Gold calling his gay assistant “Yoko”… Priceless!

  25. megwood Says:

    I STILL haven’t seen Entourage. I = lame.

    I’m sticking with 90210 until Kelly leaves, and then I’ll probably be done with it. Though, I will confess I still haven’t watched the second episode, which has been taunting me with its location at the very top of my DVR list for days now. Hellllloooooo, are you going to watch me or what?! I will confess I already have a crush on the English teacher, but that should come as no big surprise. I like the literate, scruffy type.

  26. Ellen Says:

    OMG… I’m MARRIED to the literate, scruffy type (and as an added bonus, he has a Scottish accent)!

    You’ve gotta watch “Entourage”… if for no other reason than for awesome dialogue like, “Let’s hug it out bitch!”, or “Suck it, dickbag!”… these lines are actually HILARIOUS when heard in context Meg, trust me!

  27. megwood Says:

    I’m also married to a literate, scruffy type (at the moment, extremely scruffy, actually). And while he doesn’t have a Scottish accent (which, admittedly: mrrrrrow!), he does do a mean Elmer Fudd.

    Okay, Entourage season one just went to the top of the Netflix queue. I will report back when I’m done with it!

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