Here’s what’s new or returning on Ye Olde Tube o’ Boob this week:
Monday, September 29
Chuck — 8pm, NBC, season 2 — I actually gave up on Chuck after about the first half of last season, and probably won’t bother with it this season either. Just wasn’t doing it for me; not sure why. I wanted to like it. I love Adam Baldwin. I just kind of. . . meh. So, consider this a public service announcement for those of you who watch — it’s back tonight, if you care!
Life — 10pm, NBC, season 2 — This intriguing cop drama, starring ex-Boyfriend Damian Lewis, returns for a second season tonight — count me in (but please, if you care about me, do stop talking about fruit every thirty seconds)! You can already watch tonight’s episode online, if you are so inclined.
Note that a second episode of Life will air this Friday at 10pm, the show’s regular day/time this season.
Wednesday, October 1
Pushing Daisies — 8pm, ABC, season 2 — Am I the only one who gets that Ween song about pushing the little daisies in their head whenever they think about this series? Probably. But it hardly matters — I was REALLY enjoying this total freakfest last year and had my fingers crossed it would survive the strike. Miracle of miracles — it did! Now, it’s got to survive season two. And you can help! By watching it!
Yes, I know some of you hate the cheesy voice-overs. But really? You’d miss out on watching Chi McBride knit sweaters while solving crimes because of a little ham-handedness? Dude, your loss, yo. This show is WEIRD, and we really need more weird on TV these days.
(Also returning tonight is Private Practice on ABC, by the way, but I can’t watch this show because it makes me cry seeing Tim Daly stuck in something this crappy. Thankfully, I can now watch episodes of Eyes whenever I want to on AOL Video. Helps with the sting. I love you, Interwebs!)
Thursday, October 2
Biden/Palin Thursday Night Smack-Down — One, one, ONE night only! This will be a face-off not to be missed! WATCH as Joe “No Filter” Biden tries to make his opponent cry! SEE Sarah “No Brain” Palin string eight unrelated talking points together into a single, completely nonsensical answer about the economy (oh wait, that was the Katie Couric interview — who knows what will come out of this lady’s mouth this time around!). Who will emerge the victor?
On the one hand, Biden is not really known for his tact and if he goes after Palin too aggressively, he’ll just look mean, which only ever works for the Republicans (hi, Dick Cheney!). On the other hand, I think all Palin needs to do to score herself a victory at this point is NOT fall completely on her face. With a little coaching (Ahmadinejad, Ahmadinejad, Ahmadinejad: say it with me, Sarah!), she might be able to pull that off.
More worrisome: Can Biden spend 90 minutes in a room with her and avoid rolling his eyes and sighing dramatically EVEN ONCE? If so, we’ll know for sure just how strong his character is — because I didn’t last thirty seconds before I called McCain a “stinkbutted poo-poo pants” last Friday.
Which is, in a nutshell, why I have never bothered trying to run for office. (In case you were wondering.)
Friday, October 3
Sanctuary — 9-11pm, Sci-Fi Network, season 1– This new Sci-Fi series stars Amanda Tapping from Stargate SG-1 as Dr. Helen Magnu, a scientist who “holds the secrets of a clandestine population:” a group of strange and sometimes terrifying beings that hide among humans. Together with a couple of sidekicks, she tries to keep the freakazoids safe, all the while attempting to determine where they came from. Dude, I don’t know: could rock, could suck. I’m game to find out which.
Supernanny — 9pm, ABC, season something-or-other — Oh my god, I love this show. I have no children of my own, so it’s the one time in life I’m allowed to criticize bad parenting skills. In real life, if you try to say something like, “Hey, have you ever considered giving your kid a time-out when he kicks you in the teeth like that?” to a parent, you immediately get a snarl and a, “How would YOU know what I should do, you barren, childless, non-woman! Why don’t you take your lame fallopian tubes, shove them up your empty uterus, and go home to your stupid cat!”
But in the privacy of my own home? Watching Supernanny? I totally call you kid-whipped. I mean, seriously, at least my cat doesn’t BITE me when she doesn’t get her way.
Oh, wait. . .
Plus, I love the way Jo says the word “unacceptable.” Unassesseptible. That’s just so cute!
Numb3rs — 10pm, CBS, season 5 — Yep, I’m still watching this one. AND STILL LOVING IT. I don’t really know why, but I blame a combination of Mr. Universe and The Biscuit. Also, they talk about math! EVERY WEEK! On a popular television show! That’s like Geek Heaven for those of us who know our sines from our cosines. Not to mention our quarks from our leptons. Our string theory from our string cheese.
Mmmm, string cheese. . . Wait, what was I just talking about?
Sunday, October 5
The CW is starting up two new shows Sunday night, neither of which I’m planning on watching, but I figured I’d give you guys the heads-up in case your Sundays are in need of cheap thrills.
The first is Easy Money, a comedy about a family that owns one of those payday loan places. It’ll mix stories of the family with funny stuff about firm’s hapless clients. Because, as we all know, there ain’t nuthin’ funnier than people so broke they are willing to get payday loans with interest rates as high as 400%. Ha ha ha! Poor people are so adorable. . .
The second is Valentine, which is about a family of Greek gods living in Los Angeles whose mission it is to help the lovelorn stop being so lorn of love. Meh, not for me. If you watch and it’s good, let us know?
That’s it for this week! Watch Pushing Daisies! You don’t have to like it, you just have to keep it from being canceled! FOR MY SAKE!