Confidential to the Hijacking-Baby Spammers, You Know Who You Are

Dear Hijacking-Baby Spammers:

You have sent me approximately 86,001 spams over the last 48 hours that all feature the subject line, “We have hijacked your baby.”  I feel it is my duty to inform you that this attempt to infect my computer with a virus is never going to succeed.  You know why?  BECAUSE I HAVE NO BABY.

Unless by “baby” you actually mean my cat Lucky, in which case, I feel it is my duty to inform you that you can keep her, yo.  She’s cute, but she’s not THAT cute.

$50,000 for a cat?  Where do you think I live, Ancient Egypt?

Next time you want me to open your infectious file, you should try a subject line that goes a little something more like this:  “Paul Gross removes shirt, reveals self to be last actor in North America who still has chest hair!”  Now THAT’S an executable file I’m apt to take a gamble on.

Sincerely,

The Management

4 Responses to “Confidential to the Hijacking-Baby Spammers, You Know Who You Are”

  1. Liz Says:

    Glad you’re back … but what a bunch of CRAP you have to deal with, with these spammers! I’m sure glad none of the REST of us who write to you are wack-o’s! 🙂 Hope you had a good time. BTW, don’t give those stupid spammers any other bright ideas of what to put in their subject lines!

  2. megwood Says:

    I had a great time, thanks! My family is the coolest. And also, the craziest.

  3. Alisa Says:

    Welcome back our intrepid blog writing /book reading/crappy horror movie watcher. Who does it all for us. 🙂 LOL Sorry watched The Soup last night.

    Hope your vaca was All That You’ve Ever Wanted…….

  4. Ellen Says:

    Ummm, I think I just laughed so hard that I peed myself… thanks Meg!’
    🙂

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