Okay, my peoples! Here we go! It’s week one of the Fall TV season, and we’re kicking it off a bit on the slow side, with just three new shows this week and five returning. Having mapped out the next two months to prepare for this year’s TV posting, I have to say I’m sorely lacking in optimism. But one never knows, after all. Maybe going into this with zippity in the way of expectations will result in mega-pleasant surprise? What — IT COULD HAPPEN! Just because it never HAS. . . well. . . that’s. . . Oh, never mind.
Here’s what’s coming this week:
Monday, September 15
Dancing with the Stars - ABC – 8pm – I’ve never watched this show, and I don’t aim to start, especially when there are only two people in the cast whose names I recognize (Lea Thompson and Antonio Sabato, Jr.). I did get a teeny tiny little burst of interest when I noticed there’s a regular cast member whose last name is “Murgatroyd;” however, that burst lasted exactly as long as it took me to think, “Heavens to. . .!”, and then quickly passed away again. Enjoy if it’s your thing!
Tuesday, September 16
New Girl & The Mindy Project – FOX – 9pm – I don’t watch these two, either, I’m afraid. I’ve seen season one of New Girl, and I enjoyed it well enough, but my tolerance for Zooey Deschanel is fairly limited. I feel like I’d probably love The Mindy Project, but in order to love it, I’d have sit down and watch it, which is where I keep getting stuck. SOMEDAY!
Wednesday, September 17
Red Band Society – FOX – 9pm – Good lookin’ teens with terminal illnesses are all the rage these days, thanks to John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of ‘em in general. I’m sure many of them are swell kids, but do I really want to get sucked into a TV show all about their impending doom? I’m going to go with “No,” especially since I already watched part of the pilot, and the word that sprang to mind, lo but ten minutes in, was “schmaltz.” There’s one potential upside, however, and that’s Octavia Spencer. Kinda love her. I MAY give episode 2 a try, except, oh, no, I won’t. You can watch this one online now at TV Guide, if you want to get an early start at ruling it out.
The Mysteries of Laura – NCB – 10pm – Upsides: Debra Messing, Josh Lucas. Downsides: having to pretend it’s actually interesting, in 2014, that a woman might be able to handle being both a cop and a mom, all at the same time. It’s a “mystery,” all right — how humans with boobs might be able to pull that one off. Heavens to Murgatroyd! The tagline for this series is “Who says you can’t have it all?!” I’m irritated already. But I’ll watch the pilot — I will. I’ll do it. For you guys. You’re welcome! (Or something!)
Sunday, September 21
60 Minutes – CBS – 7pm – Without Andy Rooney, I just don’t see the point.
Madam Secretary – CBS – 8pm – Reviews for this new political drama have been mixed, so I’m not sure what to expect. I will say I can’t look at Tea Leoni without feeling instantly bored, but since Kirsten Gillibrand was the inspiration for the main character (not Hillary, as you might’ve thought), well, maybe. She’s certainly an interesting lady. Then again, creator Barbara Hall described the show like this: “How do you deal with the president of the United States in the morning and the president of the PTA in the evening?” which leads me back to: seriously? In 2014? Here’s how: You do. And what’s so weird about that? C’mon, network TV. Can we move on from this tremendously tedious concept? I’ll definitely give this one a try, but, you know, see above re: zippity hope. I bet Kirsten Gillibrand would agree.
The Good Wife – CBS – 9pm – This is another series I’m sure I would love if only I sat down and watched it. But attempts to get through season 1 have mostly failed me; I’m not sure just why. I’ll definitely try again, but first I feel like I have to watch Scandal, and before that, I have to finish Veep. So much to do! So little time!
Anyway, there’s the exciting launch of Fall TV 2014. Hey! You! Wake up! WAKE UP! I know it’s boring. I know. We’ll try again next week.