Fall TV Update: October 10-16

So, let’s see, where were we?  Oh yes, talking about new TV.  We’re winding down the fall launch season, with only a few new shows still to come, three of which hit tonight.  So far, I have to confess, I haven’t ended up keeping much of the new stuff in the ol’ DVR program.  I thought after the pilot that Last Resort might be the keeper, but then I’ve had the second episode sitting around for two weeks now with no real interest to return to it — that can’t be a good sign.  And Elementary?  Okay, maybe Elementary for a little while longer, but man, it needs to stop talking down to the audience or I’ll have to quit on principle.

Perhaps something still to come will be The One.  Here’s what’s coming up new in the next week or so (I’ll be out of town until mid-week next week, so I’m giving you Tuesday’s newbie here as well):

Wednesday, October 10

Arrow — 8pm (CW) — “Based on characters appearing in comic books and graphic novels by DC Comics”:  I’m pretty sure that’s all that needs saying about this one.  You’ll know from that sentence whether or not this will be your thing.  Well, either from that sentence or the picture of that dude’s abs.  Mrrowl.

Chicago Fire — 10pm (NBC) — This show is probably going to be absolutely TERRIBLE.  My only hope is that it’s absolutely terrible in a really fun sort of way.  Which could happen!  Starring Jesse Spencer from House and Eamonn Walker from Oz doesn’t hurt its chances either, if you ask me.  Plus, in the middle of countless hospital and cop shows, it’s nice to see something a little different.  Been a while since we had a series about firefighters on network television (Third Watch is the last one I can remember).  And firefighters are frequently handsome devils, especially TV firefighters.  “Handsome devils” will take you a long, long way with me.  As well you all know.

Nashville — 10pm (ABC) — This one looks like good old fashioned cheesy soap opera fun, set in the country music world.  That sentence, too, is probably all you need to know in order to determine your plan on this one.  I’ll be DVRing it, and then watching it with one finger over the mute button just in case.  (Singing: argh.)

Thursday, October 11

Vampire Diaries — 8pm (CW) –  TEAM JACOB.

Beauty and the Beast — 9pm (CW) — Homicide detective who looks way too young to be a homicide detective falls in love with a doctor  who looks way too young to be a doctor AND turns into a terrifying RAGE BEAST whenever he gets mad about something.  Yep, it’s the CW, all right.

Monday, October 15

The Walking Dead — 10pm (AMC) — Argh.  I can’t go on.  I won’t go on.  I must go on.  I will go on.  Sigh.

Tuesday, October 16

Emily Owens, MD – 9pm (CW) — At least in this one, the doctor looks like she’s old enough to be a doctor (it’s Mamie Gummer, from last year’s series doctors-in-the-jungle series Off the Map, which I was enjoying, I confess).  But then again, we ARE talking about the CW here, and their demographic does not include my demographic.  For a reason.  It’s hard for people my age (ripe old 38) to stomach inanity.  We burn out on inanity right around age 32, right, ladies?  And CW shows tend to have an AWFUL lot of really dumb romantic plot lines and characters who say and do incredibly silly things.  That said, I watched the first ten minutes or so of this one online last night and didn’t hate it, and I really like Mamie Gummer, so I’m game for giving it a shot.  WE SHALL SEE.  Maybe a little silly in my week isn’t such a bad thing?

Nuthin’ New This Week!

Oh, hey, there isn’t anything new starting up this week on the tube, I just realized.  Merely a few returns:  Hart of Dixie and Raising Hope last night, Supernatural tonight, and 30 Rock tomorrow night. New stuff comes back next week, so I’ll have more to say about dat dem stuffs den.

As for Supernatural: I gave up SupeNatch early last season when it became clear they were STILL going to be doing the damn angel war thing.  Holy tedium, Batman!  If that storyline is finally over and done with and we’re back to monster-of-the-week episodes, somebody let me know?  I’d be willing to dive back in for that, and that alone.  If not, I’ll just rewatch the early years whenever I need a Winchester Bros. fix.  Which is still surprisingly often.  Or perhaps not so surprisingly often, considering:  humina humina.

Aside from that, I have naught else to report.  (Except for the eight book and movie reviews I’m behind on.  TRA LA!)

Comment fodder:  What, if any, of the new shows have you decided to stick with a little longer?  So far, I’m still watching Revolution (though I am not paying terribly close attention and it’s probably going to disappear from my DVR shortly if it doesn’t pick up soon) and I’m game for episode 2 this week of Vegas (surprisingly enough).  That Animal Practice sit-com with the monkey, though?  OH HOLY HELL.  I didn’t last 6 minutes.  What about youse dudes?

Fall TV Update: Sunday, September 30

Sorry I missed yesterday’s post, y’all!  It was my 11th anniversary with my spouse, though, and I decided maybe I better spend it with him instead of with my laptop.  It’s okay, though!  You didn’t really miss much!  Here’s what happened last night on the Tube de Boob (and there’s nothing to report for tonight, by the way!):

Sunday, September 30

Once Upon a Time — 8pm (ABC) — I watched the first half or so of this show last year and really enjoyed it.  The problem was I fell behind and then didn’t have enough time to catch up (this happens kind of a lot these days, I’m afraid!).  Rather than letting the episodes pile up on my DVR, I deleted the series with the plan to get it on DVD later instead.   Now that we’re entering the rainy-day AND flu seasons, I was excited to see season one is now available for streaming at Netflix.  When that perfect rainy sick day rolls around, I’ll have it ready to go at a click, which is a soothing thought to keep tucked away.  I inevitably get one really crappy illness each winter (last year, a truly heinous sinus infection), and it’s nice to know that when it happens this year, I’ll at least be able to keep myself entertained and in good cheer.

Amazing Race — 8pm (CBS) — I’ve seen one season of this show and I found it extremely entertaining, but so incredibly stressful to watch I have never, ever tuned in again.  I can’t take it.  There’s just too much scrambling and running and me on the edge of my seat yelling, “GET ON THE TRAIN, YOU FOOLS, YOU FOOLS!!”  Whew.  I’m exhausted just thinking about this show.  You watch it.  You guys with all the stamina and stuff.  This is the show for you.

Revenge — 9pm (FOX) — I skipped this series last year thinking it sounded kind of dumb, but then kept reading it was one of the most entertaining “guilty pleasures” of the year.  Luckily, it also just showed up on Netflix streaming, so I should go back and see if it’s my kinda thing.  Anybody a huge fan of this one?  What do you like about it?  Tell me everything!

The Good Wife — 9pm (CBS) — Here’s another great show I somehow keep failing to watch.  I got the first season on DVD from the library about a year ago and LOVED it and then had to return the disks before I was done because of the due date and no renewals allowed and all that jazz, and somehow I have since failed to finish up.  Why?  I don’t know.  (He’s on third. . .)  Season 1, at the very least, was excellent (p.s. Chris Noth, yum yum!).  Shoot.  What am I doing not watching this?  I’m dumb.  I’ll go stick this at the top of the Netflix queue right now.  Click, click, CHECK!

Bob’s Burgers, Family Guy, American Dad — (FOX) — Those of you who watch these sorts of things, they started last night.

Dexter and Homeland — (SHO) — I no longer get Showtime, but even if I did, I probably wouldn’t bother tuning in for Dexter this year.  I really enjoyed it for a few seasons there, then I got frustrated with the lack of development in Dexter’s (and everybody else’s, for that matter) character.     Homeland, on the other hand, was pretty damn spectacular.  I considered resubscribing to SHO this fall simply so I could see season 2 of this one (but that would be an incredibly dumb financial move since I’ll be able to rent the whole thing on DVD for less than a single month of the premium subscription would cost — I hope you’re listening, Showtime).  If you missed season 1, I highly, highly recommend it!  Fascinating and extremely thoughtful, plus: Mandy Patinkin times Damian Lewis equals yay!

The Mentalist — 10pm (CBS) –Not-funny rip-off of Psych.  Why would you bother when you can just have the real thing?

666 Park Avenue — 10pm (ABC) — I would’ve totally been game for this show had they not given it such a stupid title.   Really?  666?  You know what that tells me?  That tells me there isn’t going to be a single original bone in this show’s whole dumb body.  Did anybody watch last night?  Was I right?  I bet I was right.  I am almost never right about anything, but I have a good feeling about my rightness right now.

Coming tomorrow:  An update for the whole rest of the week, BA BAM!!  Hold onto your hats!

Fall TV Update: Friday, September 28

Not much to report for tonight — the only new series is Made in Jersey (CBS), which is some kind of terrible-looking lawyer thing that Entertainment Weekly has already watched for us and scored with an F+.  So, I think that answers that.

Otherwise, back for a new season tonight are CSI:NY (CBS), Fringe (FOX), and Blue Bloods (CBS), none of which I really watch (I sometimes drop in on CSI:NY, but not regularly).

TONS of stuff is starting or returning Sunday, so instead of spending any time on tonight’s yawnsville content, I will wrap this up super-fly so I can get started on the next installment!

Also, I heard Elementary and Last Resort were pretty fun last night but haven’t had a chance to watch myself.  What’d you guys think?

Fall TV Update: Thursday Sept. 27

Okay, Thursday, NOW we’re talkin’.  There are TWO new shows on tonight I’m planning to check out.  I mean, granted, it’s highly unlikely either one will be any good.  But, at least I’m intrigued, which is more than I can say about other new shows this season.

The Two I Care About:

Last Resort — 8pm (ABC) — Okay, this series sounds about as dumb as they come.  It’s about the crew of a Navy sub who “go rogue” when ordered to nuke Pakistan and find themselves facing the wrath of the entire US in response.  Declared outlaws, they start their own new society on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere in the ocean.  Ha ha!  Hooooo boy.  So, why do I care about this show?  Two words:  Andre Braugher.  I’ll put up with a lot for a little Andre Braugher, especially now that the wonderful Men of a Certain Age is gone (oh, I loved that show so much — SO MUCH).  Fingers crossed that if this is stupid, it’s stupid in a fantastically entertaining way and not an insufferable one.  COULD HAPPEN.

Elementary — 10pm (CBS) — Eli Stone as Sherlock Holmes?  I don’t know what to expect.  I’m trying not to expect too much.  It can’t beat Sherlock on BBC/PBS, obviously, and yet it’s clearly been triggered because of that show’s smashing success.  For CBS to succeed with its take on the classic, though, Elementary has got to be whip-smart, well-written, and very, very careful with the Sherlockian elements.  It’s especially got to avoid ALL HAMMINESS when it comes to Sherlock’s signature oddities  — think House and not TNT’s Perception, in other words.  Go heavy-handed with the cuckoo-nutso, and it’s toast.

Additionally, I’ve read they intend to make Sherlock’s infamous drug habits a key part of the story — in fact, the “Watson” in Elementary, played by Lucy Liu, is the Sherlock character’s sober living companion.  This makes me incredibly unhappy, and I’ll tell you why.  First of all, House regularly botched its treatment of addiction, and in ways that, in my opinion, were both irresponsible and potentially destructive.  You long-timers have seen me rant about that in the past, so I won’t go into it again here.  The fact this show’s very premise is based on something no responsible drug treatment group would EVER do (i.e., put a sexy lady and a hot dude together as sober living companions) is not a good sign.  As someone who works in the addiction field, I’m tense already about all the things they’re about to screw up here, because, you guys, misconceptions about drug addiction do serious damage.  Then again, I do love everything Holmesian, and I also love Johnny Lee Miller.  I’ll go in fully braced for awful, and maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.  COULD HAPPEN!

The Rest:

Big Bang Theory — 8pm (CBS) — This might, in fact, be the current sit-com I loathe the most out of all the current sit-coms.

Two and a Half Men — 8:30 (CBS) — CORRECTION!  THIS is the current sit-com I loathe the most out of all the current sit-coms.

Grey’s Anatomy — 9pm (ABC) — Well, I’m glad Lexie’s dead, at least.  She was getting on my nerves.  Unfortunately, McSteamy is leaving this season, and though he was also getting on my nerves, it was in a whooooole ‘nother way, if you catch my drift.  Nudge, wink, SAY NO MORE.

Person of Interest — 9pm (CBS) — Someone is still watching this?  WHO?  Is it you? Well, cut it out!

Scandal – 10pm (ABC) — I confess I’ve never even heard of this show, though apparently it’s launching its second season tonight.  Did I miss anything good?  If so, I can try to catch up.

Fall TV Update: Wednesday, Sept 26

WHAT UP, WEDNESDAY!

Here’s what’s on the schedule for tonight:

The Middle — 8pm (ABC) — I keep hearing this is good.  Is this good?

Animal Practice — 8pm (NBC) — I’m tuning in for this one, and I’ll tell you why: I’m a sucker for monkeys wearing people clothes.  I know it’s cruel to the monkeys, I know we shouldn’t do it, but I just love it so much.  A monkey!  In a lab coat!  And pants!  C’mon, that’s ADORABLE!

Okay, okay, in truth, I’m actually tuning in because I love animals and I think there’s a teeny tiny chance this MIGHT actually entertain me.  At least this show feels original in terms of content;  I’m pretty sure it’s the first sit-com about veterinarians that’s been on TV in my lifetime, in any case.  Plus, I like Justin Kirk’s brand of wry, weird sense of humor (on Weeds, anyway).  I don’t know.  How bad could it be?  No, don’t answer that.  I’ll find out soon enough.

Guys with Kids — 9pm (NBC) — You know that old showbiz adage, “Never work with animals or babies?”  NBC seems to be thumbing their nose a bit at that one tonight, eh? We just had animals, and now 30 minutes later, we have babies.  I like babies.  But the problem with this sit-com is that I have a sneaking suspicion its entire concept stemmed from that one scene in The Hangover when Zach Galifinakis strapped that adorbs li’l infant to his chest (the cover pic for the series certainly seems to WANT us to make that association, anyway).  And, guys?  That can’t be good.  There’s just no way.    If this was Bradly Cooper with Kids, I’d totally watch.  Jesse Bradford with Kids, on the other hand?  I gots better things to do.

Modern Family — 9pm (ABC) — I’ll never forget the original trailer for this series   — the one that featured Phil talking how he was hip to the kids’ lingo: BRB meant “be right back,” LOL meant “laughing out loud,” and WTF was  “why the face.”  Why the face!  Ah ha ha ha!  I love that so much.  AND I LOVE THIS SHOW.  It’s definitely a bit on the cheesy-sweet side a lot, but you know what?  I’m cool with that.  It’s the good kind of cheesy-sweet.  This is the only show I watch as soon as it’s been DVR’d (live TV, of course, being for suckers only), which is a very, very rare thing for me!  Cannot wait for tonight’s episode!

Criminal Minds, CSI, L&O:SVU:  The addition of Ted Dansen to CSI totally saved the series for me — his character is weird in a way that feels authentic (unlike, say, Vincent D’Onofrio on L&O:CI), and he’s also smart and witty and kind.  I’m smitten, frankly.  Alas, no such luck with recent changes to L&O:SVU, which I’m officially ditching from my DVR schedule as right. . . now.  As for Criminal Minds, Jeanne Tripplehorn is coming on board to replace Paget Brewster, and as a huge fan of her work on Big Love, I’m excited enough about that to want to tune in.   I tell you what, though, I sure am getting tired of all these shows that focus so heavily on vicious, horrific crimes against women.  SVU and Criminal Minds on the same night makes Wednesdays feel less like “Hump Day” and more like “Misogyny Day.”  But whatever — at least the bad guys usually get caught and punished, and we’ll pretend the victims get free, evidence-based mental health care for life to help them cope with the aftermath of their traumas.  It IS fiction, after all.  (Sigh.)

The Neighbors — 9:30pm (ABC) — You remember my joke about Ben and Kate Plus 8 yesterday in which I was rooting for the “Plus 8″ to be Alfs from Melmac?  Turns out that wasn’t all that original an idea.  This sit-com is apparently about a family who discovers their neighbors are aliens (that cry green goo out of their ears or something, which explains the cover pic).  If this had an exciting cast, I’d actually be willing to give it a shot;  I liked 3rd Rock from the Sun, after all.  But Jami Gertz hasn’t been an exciting cast member since at least 1986 (arguably: if then).  So, asked and answered.  Moving on!

ALSO, in case you missed this update on yesterday’s post, DUCKY LIVES!  HALLELUJAH!

Fall TV Update: Tuesday, Sept 25

So whatcha whatcha whatcha want (whatcha want)?  Well, hey, how about anything but this year’s Tuesday night line-up (ba-dum ching!)?

I mean, NCIS — fine.  FINE.  I’m still watching it, I still enjoy it for the most part, but truly, it could retire.  It’s really time for it to retire, guys.  NCIS: LA, on the other hand, should get fired, and should’ve been fired its first month — this is a crazy, crazy, mixed-up kinda world where that insufferable dreck survives and Pushing Daisies doesn’t.

As for New Girl, I keep hearing it’s great, and then I keep seeing that Zooey Deschanel iPhone ad and having to fight the urge to punch her in the face (which is only going to end up hurting me, because I still have an old CRT TV — you know, the ones with the glass screens?).  So, no.  Mindy Project, no.  Private Practice, GOOD GOD NO.  Ben and Kate, only if it’s renamed Ben and Kate Plus 8, Ben is an android, and the 8 are from the planet Melmac (wow, actually, I may be onto something there. . .).  And Vegas — well, now, Vegas.  I’ll get to that one in a second.

HERE’S WHAT’S UP TONIGHT:

NCIS – 8pm (CBS) — Look, I’m still in love with Michael Weatherly, and with McGee even more.  And Abby — Abby’s great.  And please, Mark Harmon?  Mark Harmon can do no wrong, even when he’s playing Ted Bundy.  But Ducky — Ducky was my favorite character, and Ducky’s gone now, right?  So, what’s the point?  I think there is no point.  I CANNOT GO ON.   I MUST GO ON.  I CANNOT GO ON.  I WILL GO ON.  Crap.  Can’t you just get canceled and put me out of my misery?  Why you gotta hang in there so tight?

New Girl — 8pm (FOX) — “Hey, Siri, can you order me up some TOMATO SOUP because I’m SO DUMB I do not know how to use a can opener.”  *punch* *blood* *911 call* *17 stitches*

Ben and Kate – 8:30pm (FOX) — Sit-com starring an adorable kid and a guy with really weird teeth.  PASS! (FAIL!)

NCIS: LA — 9pm (CBS) — Every time I see an ad for this show, I cry a little bit for the man LL Lame J used to be.  Why couldn’t this show be good?  Chris O’Donnell!  LINDA HUNT, for pity’s sake!  But the Navy doesn’t have a super secret undercover crack detective team in Los Angeles loaded to the hilt with money for fast cars, gadgets, and costume changes, and I can’t just pocket that information and pretend it’s fine you’re being ridiculous!  Stop being ridiculous!  It’s just so ridiculous!

The Mindy Project — 9:30pm (FOX) — Because, why now?  I mean, it’s awesome, sure, that an Indian female comic is headlining her own show in the US.  But I kind of can’t stand that Indian female comic, so. . . Congratulations, please go away.  Am I terrible?  I’m terrible.  I’m sorry.

Private Practice — 9pm (ABC) — I was honestly surprised to see this was still in the line-up this fall.  What is this doing still in the line-up this fall?  Is it just me or do Tuesday nights really blow this  season?  This show is absolutely insufferable.  I made it through a record six episodes of season one before I couldn’t stand the churning sensation in my stomach every time a character spoke a line of vapid dialogue.  WHAT IS THIS SHOW STILL DOING HERE?  I blame you guys for this.  No, not YOU guys.  YOU OTHER GUYS.  You know, the ones who keep watching this thing!  YOU!  Cut that out, already!

Vegas — 10pm (CBS) –  Upside:  the cast.  Hunky Ex-Boyfriends Dennis Quaid and Michael Chiklis, together AND playing mortal enemies!  Ye-he-HES!  Downside: they’re playing mortal enemies in 1960s Vegas, and honestly, the likelihood of this primetime network TV show being even remotely as entertaining or interesting as Casino or GoodFellas is so teeny tiny it cannot be seen with the naked eye.  Upside:  Chiklis is playing a bad-ass again, which is great because after seeing him hitting people in the head with phone books for several years on The Shield, he’ll simply never square as The Commish for me ever again (although, having seen a few trailers and print ads for this, I’m not sold on his ability to pull of the 1960s mobster suit look, either).  Downside:  Quaid is playing a cowboy-turned-reluctant sheriff, a character I feel I’ve seen 97,000 times before (speaking of cowboy sheriffs, did you guys watch Longmire this summer, co-starring Ex-Boy/Girlfriend of the Week Katee Sackhoff?  I really enjoyed that one).  Oh, argh.  This is one of those shows I don’t really want to watch, but I feel like I should probably watch.  So, I’ll watch.  Let’s see what happens.

Fall TV Update: Monday, Sept 24th

This is the BIG WEEK of returns and launches, so I’m going to update you one day at a time instead of doing the whole week in a single post.  I’m going to have a ton to tell you about, my peoples, absolutely none of which will be of any importance whatsoever!  Yep, this is a blog, all right!  Let’s do this thing!

Tonight is mostly just returning stuff, including a ton of sit-coms I do not watch, so, you know, that “ton to tell you about thing” won’t start until tomorrow.  Here’s what is coming back:

How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
2 Broke Girls (CBS)
Mike & Molly (CBS)
Castle (ABC)
Hawaii Five-0 (CBS)

Of that bunch, the only one I watch is Castle, and even there, I confess I’m already an entire year behind  (oh, poor creaking DVR!) and things are likely to get worse starting tonight.  While I enjoy it when I do tune in, and, of course, I ADORE Nathan Fillion, I got kind of bored with it early last year.   I don’t know why; it seems like it ought to be right up my alley.  But, meh.  I mean, it’s fine.  I just have limited free time and it’s not that exciting somehow.  Maybe it’ll be different this year?  Or, maybe I’LL be different this year.  We’ll see.

The only new thing tonight is Partners on CBS, which is a sit-come, so who the heck cares?  Tra la!

More tomorrow, I promise!

What did you guys think of Revolution last week, by the way?  I watched the whole thing, thought it was pretty ridiculously awful, and would really like an explanation as to why everybody isn’t dead from all the nuclear reactors on the planet melting down 24 hours after the power went out (remember Fukushima after the Japanese tsunami a couple of years ago?).  But, you know, I’m game for episode 2.

Because I’m an idiot.

You?

Fall TV is Here! It’s Here! It’s Here! It’s. . . zzzzzzz. . .

Okay, yeah, I admit it.  I am having a really unbelievably hard time getting excited about any of the new TV shows starting up this fall.  There isn’t a single one I’m enthusiastic about — not of any of the newbies, anyway. (No, not even the Sherlock Holmes one, before you ask.)

But part of this may have to do with the fact summer only JUST STARTED here in Seattle (about 3 weeks ago), and the very last thing I intend to do while it lasts is sit around in the living room with the remote balanced on my knee. I’m trying to fire myself up long enough to set the DVR, though.  We’ll see what happens after that.

Last week was sort of the official launch of new TV for the season, but it was all sit-com stuff and I don’t care about sit-com stuff.  If you do, you missed Chandler in Go On, plus The New Normal, Guys with Kids, Shark Tank, and something called What Would You Do? (answer: not watch your TV show, apparently).

Hopefully you did NOT, however, also miss the return of Sons of Anarchy.  Because I did and, well, OOPS.  (No worries — I caught it later in the week, though haven’t watched yet.)

Here’s what’s coming up this week!  And, as always, let me know what you’re excited about, rolling your eyes over (J. J. Abrams, anyone?), stunned by (Supenatch is still kickin’? How. . . What. . . LET YOUR PEOPLE GO!), or whatever in the comments.  It’s not called the Interactive Web for nuthin’, my peoples.

Monday, September 17

Bones – 9pm (FOX)  To be honest, I hardly watched Bones last year.  I got really burned out on the characters and their stagnant relationships, and with limited time for TV viewing, this one piled up sky high on the DVR. Then a few weeks ago, I got a killer crazy stomach flu that kept me in bed for about three straight days.  With nothing else to do, I begrudgingly started in on the earliest saved episode I had from last season.  And then promptly DEVOURED THE REST.  This is not a great show — it simply ain’t.  It’s not growing enough as it should be and the characters are stuck in these character ruts that are no longer making a whole lot of sense (example:  Brennan’s persistent obtuseness of social or cultural norms in particular it wearing gratingly thin for me — I feel the same way about Ziva on NCIS, by the way, who ought to know her slang by now).  What it lacks in depth, though, it makes up for in David Boreanaz profile shots (oh, that chin!), making it pretty satisfying watching for me anyway.  I’ll keep recording this one, at the very least — good for the upcoming cold and flu season.

The Mob Doctor — 10pm (FOX).  This new series is about a “headstrong resident,” Dr. Grace Devlin, who is paying back a debt to the mob by providing them with medical care.  Here’s how interested I am in this show:  [this space intentionally left blank].  I’ll watch the pilot-plus-one to see if the characters can save the concept, but I won’t be holding my breath — the concept is so boring I’m surprised I’ve actually managed to write this many sentences in a row without nodding off.   You know what I. . . zzzzzz. . .

Revolution — 10 pm (NBC).  This is the latest series from J. J. Abrams of Lost, and it sounds like it’s going to be yet another in an ever-lengthening line of attempts to replicate that show’s serial mystery structure — for reasons I have yet to understand.  You know why all the other attempts have failed, J. J.?  Because by the end of Lost, even your most die-hard of fans (me!  my mom!) were so frustrated we almost didn’t make it to the finale.  And then we HATED THE FINALE.  Why you keep going this route, then, dawg?  It don’t make no sense!

That said, the premise of this one is intriguing enough to warrant a little initial attention, methinks.  It’s set 15 years after some kind of unexplained event knocks out all the power on the Earth.  The main character is a young woman who appears to have been modeled after Katniss from The Hunger Games (blonde, wields a bow and arrow, kicks ass), whose father was killed by a crazy militia group that then kidnapped her brother and took off.  Desperate to vindicate her dad and save her bro, Katniss (wait, Claire, I think is her actual name), heads to the ruins of Chicago to team up with her crazy uncle Miles.  From what I’ve read, the story will focus in semi-equal parts on the trials of everyday survival in a world with no electricity (the societal/cultural impacts of which could be interesting, I think), the mystery of what caused the power outage to begin with (this is the part that makes me wary — it’s the dangerously “J.J. Abrams” element), and the rescue of the brother (for fight scenes, adventure).

Where this needs to go, in my opinion, is along the same sort of path taken by George R. Stewart’s novel Earth Abides, a post-apocalyptic tale that focused on how society would cope and then recreate itself after being almost completely destroyed.   I have a feeling, though, that this show isn’t going to manage the more “thoughty” elements of the concept well enough to satisfy me.  There’s a lot to dive into here — how well Abrams manages to do just that will be what makes this series sink or swim, I think.  WE SHALL SEE.

Wednesday, September 19

Survivor: Philippines – 8pm (CBS) — Y’all know what this one is.   (If you don’t, let me be the first human to officially welcome you to Planet Earth — please don’t judge us by our television programming!  *earth-shattering kaboom*)

Thursday, September 20

Up All Night – 8:30pm (NBC) — I.  LOVE this show.  I am not a sit-com person and I never have been, but this series quickly became a favorite of mine last season and it’s one of the few programs I’m eager to start watching again.  I could never get my sister into it, which is weird because the main characters are a couple who just had their first kid and are struggling to juggle their relationship, personal lives, work lives, and baby, with hilarious results, and that couple reminds me a lot of my sister and her husband.  BUT WHATEVER.  Words cannot express my love for Will Arnett, and Christina Applegate and Maya Rudolph are two mighty, mighty fine female comics who are perfectly matched here as best and bizarre buds.  And then there’s WILL ARNETT.  Did I mention Will Arnett?  And how much I love Will Arnett?  I didn’t?  Oh, well, then:  WILL ARNETT.  There you go.

The Office – 9pm (NBC) — Who hasn’t been the boss yet?  Stanley?  Let’s make Stanley the boss this year.  I’d watch that.

Parks and Recreation – 9:30pm (NBC) — I haven’t actually been watching Parks & Rec, but I’ve seen episodes here and there over the last year or two and found them entertaining enough.  To be honest, I have really low Amy Poehler tolerance — her voice is total nails-on-chalkboard to me and her bounciness is simply. . . exhausting.  If we could just keep her drunk all the time, I might be able to tune into this more often.  But I hear that’s hard on the liver, and the insurance fees, so I guess I’ll stick with simply dipping in for this one every couple of months and keeping the volume turned down super low.

Friday, September 21

Grimm – 9pm (NBC) — I watched the pilot of this one when it first started, and when it became clear it was mostly just going to be a rip-off of Supernatural, only without the handsome, bantery Winchester brothers, I quit paying attention.  Now that Supernatural is two years past its expiration date, though, I’m thinking I should dive back in.  I’m hoping to rent season 1 this October (good pre-Halloween prep series, I’m thinking), and meanwhile will be recording the new season to jump into when I’m all caught up.  My mom likes this one, by the way — you regulars know what to do with THAT information.

Haven – (SyFy) — Don’t know a damn thing about this (returning) series on SyFy.  You guys like this one?  Should I be paying attention?

Okay, that’s it for this week’s new and returning — tune in next week for the first of the two weeks of serious TV onslaught!  AND LET THE CONVERSING IN COMMENTS BEGIN!

Fall TV Premieres: Oct. 10-22

We’re out of the thick of the fall TV premiere season, so I’m going to do two weeks at a time now until I run out of new shows to tell you about (early November).

Quick update:  Didn’t last ten minutes into Person of Interest, the new J. J. Abrams series.  Borrrrrring!  If you’re loving it, let me know, though, and maybe I’ll try again?  Except:  borrrrrrring!  Also, American Horror Story was not unbearable, but I sure am confused.  I’ll give it one more episode before deciding on that one.

Also, I neglected to mention last week that season two of Luther started up on BBC America.  If you haven’t seen season one, you should definitely check it out (it’s available on Netflix streaming) and start recording season two now so you can catch up when you’re caught up.  It’s a terrific mystery series starring Idris Elba (from The Wire) and dayam, is he ever foxy.

Tuesday, October 11

Last Man Standing (ABC) – 8pm — This is Tim Allen’s new sit-com.  You know, the Home Improvement guy?  I’m pretty sure that’s all I need to say about this one — that either makes you want to tune in or run screaming.  I fall somewhere in the middle, a section I would describe as “apathy.”  [insert Tim Allen porcine laugh here]

Wednesday, October 12

Psych (USA) — 8pm — Oh god, I love this show.  May it never, ever end.  This is probably the only comedy on TV that makes me laugh so hard sometimes water springs from my eyes, just like in cartoons.  Ptew, ptew, little drops of water, shooting out of my eyes!  It’s that funny.  Clearly written by people my age, this is the show to watch if you dig obscure 80s pop culture references.  (Last season is now up on Netflix streaming, by the way.  And then there’s also THIS, let’s not forget — one of my favorite write-ups of all time.)

Sunday, October 16

The Walking Dead (AMC) — 9pm — Finally, the return we’ve all been waiting for!  Now, granted, I started to get a little bored by the end of season 1 (also now streaming at Netflix, by the way), but the finale piqued my interest again and I’ve been desperate for its return ever since.  Here’s hoping there’s a little more plot this round and a little less “running from zombies for an entire hour.”  I do love a good zombie chase scene, but, you know, maybe not EVERY week.  Every other week is okay, though.

Tuesday, October 18

Man Up! (ABC) — 8:30pm — This new sit-com describes itself thusly:  “Man Up! follows the struggles of three modern male archetypes as they search for their identities and try to prove that ‘real men’ really can use hazelnut creamer.”  But, and I’m sorry but it needs to be said, real men cannot, in fact, use hazelnut creamer.  I do kind of like Teri Polo, but what the he-zell is she doing in this?  Man Up!?  I WILL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT.