Archive for the ‘TV shows’ Category

Fall TV – Week One: Kids Die, Women Have It All

September 16, 2014

tvset1Okay, my peoples!  Here we go!  It’s week one of the Fall TV season, and we’re kicking it off a bit on the slow side, with just three new shows this week and five returning.  Having mapped out the next two months to prepare for this year’s TV posting, I have to say I’m sorely lacking in optimism. But one never knows, after all. Maybe going into this with zippity in the way of expectations will result in mega-pleasant surprise?  What — IT COULD HAPPEN! Just because it never HAS. . . well. . . that’s. . . Oh, never mind.

Here’s what’s coming this week:

Monday, September 15

dwtsDancing with the Stars - ABC – 8pm – I’ve never watched this show, and I don’t aim to start, especially when there are only two people in the cast whose names I recognize (Lea Thompson and Antonio Sabato, Jr.). I did get a teeny tiny little burst of interest when I noticed there’s a regular cast member whose last name is “Murgatroyd;” however, that burst lasted exactly as long as it took me to think, “Heavens to. . .!”, and then quickly passed away again. Enjoy if it’s your thing!

Tuesday, September 16

newgirlNew Girl & The Mindy Project – FOX – 9pm – I don’t watch these two, either, I’m afraid. I’ve seen season one of New Girl, and I enjoyed it well enough, but my tolerance for Zooey Deschanel is fairly limited. I feel like I’d probably love The Mindy Project, but in order to love it, I’d have sit down and watch it, which is where I keep getting stuck.  SOMEDAY!

Wednesday, September 17

redbandsocietyRed Band Society – FOX – 9pm – Good lookin’ teens with terminal illnesses are all the rage these days, thanks to John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, but I have to say, I’m not a huge fan of ‘em in general. I’m sure many of them are swell kids, but do I really want to get sucked into a TV show all about their impending doom?  I’m going to go with “No,” especially since I already watched part of the pilot, and the word that sprang to mind, lo but ten minutes in, was “schmaltz.”  There’s one potential upside, however, and that’s Octavia Spencer. Kinda love her. I MAY give episode 2 a try, except, oh, no, I won’t. You can watch this one online now at TV Guide, if you want to get an early start at ruling it out.

The Mysteries of LauraThe Mysteries of Laura – NCB – 10pm – Upsides: Debra Messing, Josh Lucas. Downsides: having to pretend it’s actually interesting, in 2014, that a woman might be able to handle being both a cop and a mom, all at the same time. It’s a “mystery,” all right — how humans with boobs might be able to pull that one off. Heavens to Murgatroyd! The tagline for this series is “Who says you can’t have it all?!” I’m irritated already. But I’ll watch the pilot — I will. I’ll do it. For you guys. You’re welcome! (Or something!)

Sunday, September 21

60 Minutes – CBS – 7pm – Without Andy Rooney, I just don’t see the point.

madamMadam Secretary – CBS – 8pm – Reviews for this new political drama have been mixed, so I’m not sure what to expect. I will say I can’t look at Tea Leoni without feeling instantly bored, but since Kirsten Gillibrand was the inspiration for the main character (not Hillary, as you might’ve thought), well, maybe. She’s certainly an interesting lady. Then again, creator Barbara Hall described the show like this: “How do you deal with the president of the United States in the morning and the president of the PTA in the evening?” which leads me back to: seriously? In 2014?  Here’s how: You do. And what’s so weird about that?  C’mon, network TV.  Can we move on from this tremendously tedious concept?  I’ll definitely give this one a try, but, you know, see above re: zippity hope. I bet Kirsten Gillibrand would agree.

goodwifeThe Good Wife – CBS – 9pm – This is another series I’m sure I would love if only I sat down and watched it. But attempts to get through season 1 have mostly failed me; I’m not sure just why.  I’ll definitely try again, but first I feel like I have to watch Scandal, and before that, I have to finish Veep.  So much to do! So little time!

Anyway, there’s the exciting launch of Fall TV 2014.  Hey!  You!  Wake up!  WAKE UP!  I know it’s boring. I know. We’ll try again next week.

Fall TV is Coming!

September 11, 2014

tvset1Well, technically, it’s sort of here now.  But I’m waiting to launch my annual series until next week, when it gets more formally started up.

This week, however, marks the return, for the last time, of ex-Boyfriend Charlie Hunnam’s series Sons of Anarchy, with a 2.5 hour premiere episode that aired last night.  While I was watching Jax beat someone nearly to death in the first five minutes, I thought to myself, “Why am I still watching this, MY GOD.”  But, you guys know why:  I ain’t no quitter (see: 10,000 seasons of ER).  Plus, at this point, I’m absolutely gasping for the chance to see Gemma finally get what’s comin’ to her.  Can you blame me?znation

Also this week in returning shows:  Hell’s Kitchen tonight on FOX (8pm), and The Biggest Loser tomorrow on NBC (8pm).

And starting Friday, our first new series of the fall season, Z Nation on SyFy, a zombie show starring Tom Everett Scott that Entertainment Weekly gave a D+ for taking itself waaaaaay too seriously (“You’re not The Walking Dead! You’re a joke! Act like it already!”).  I’ll be tuning in, but not with optimism.

You may have noticed a dearth of posts lately, not to mention the fact continued promises to get a new Boyfriend of the Week posted have crumbled like a crappy store-bought pie crust.  I’m in the middle of some crazy times at work these days and also spending most of my free time working on a big cat shelter charity event this fall.  But I’ll get to it!  Promise!  Meanwhile, I’m still digging seeing John Oliver’s face every time I go to my own web site.  He’s killin’ it on HBO’s Last Week Tonight.  Man’s a genius.  And I knew him when!

Happy_Valley_TV_Series-207894066-largeIn the meantime, while you wait for regular TV to get its act together, hie thee to Netflix posthaste to watch their British mystery series Happy Valley  (originally a BBC production) — I just finished it myself a couple of weeks ago and it’s pure brilliance from start to finish. Great writing, great cast, great filming, good storytelling.  And, someday, a season two!

Okay, my peoples.  See you next week for FallTVnado!


Fall TV Whatever-Week-This-Is: Vampires, Witches, and Zombies (Oh My!)

October 8, 2013
tvset1So, the bulk of the fall TV releases are behind us, and what’s been the fallout?  Of the new shows this year, I’m still watching:

Sleepy Hollow:  Sure, it’s silly.  Who cares?  Apparently not many, since this just got renewed for season two after only 2 episodes.  Booya!  NOW can somebody buy that guy a new outfit?

Agents of SHIELD:  Sure, it’s silly.  Who cares?  I’m totally down with this one, especially since episode 2 was such a marked improvement on episode 1.  It’s funny and different, which makes it well worth tuning in for if you’re me.  Well, that plus the part where Agent Coulson is a HOT-TAY.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine:  This might be my favorite of all the new series this year — how weird, given the fact it’s a sit-com and I usually hate sit-coms!  Thing is, I like smart, funny sit-coms, which are rare birds in this world.  And this is one of those.  Barney Miller for a new generation?  So far, so good.

Hostages:  I like this show, I just can’t quite figure out how they are going to make it last a full season.  Unless they’re planning it to be a short-season series, with only one season?  Except, since it’s being fairly universally panned, as well as fairly universally not watched by anyone else, I have a feeling we will never get to find out the answer to that question.  Which is too bad because I’m loving Toni Collette in that part.

Blacklist:  I’m putting this on here simply because I haven’t given up on it yet, though I have only seen the first episode.  I may or may not retain this one after watching episode 2.  It depends on how totally annoying I find “science is for boys!” lady the second time around. Don’t hold your breath.

What are you guys sticking with so far?  AND, here’s what’s coming up this week!

Tuesday, October 8

originalsThe Originals - 8pm – The CW – This is some silly vampire thing.  Not to be confused with the other silly vampire thing coming out on the 25th, Dracula, starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers.  That’s the silly vampire thing I’m likely to tune into.  This is not the silly vampire thing I’m likely to tune into.

The Biggest Loser – 8pm – NBC – I hate this show with the fiery passion of 97,000 suns.

Supernatural - 9pm – The CW – Time to go SupeNatch — you’ve long since outstayed your welcome.  My god, angels are boring.

Wednesday, October 9

Arrow - 8pm – The CW – Don’t watch, no clue.

The Tomorrow People – 9pm – The CW – This sounds a lot like Heroes but with a much prettier, younger cast.  Borrrrrrring!
ahscovenAmerican Horror Story: Coven – 10pm – FX – Oh, American Horror Story.  I keep watching you and keep not understanding why I keep watching you.  YOU ARE NOT GOOD.  So, what is my problem?  I guess my problem is there’s just nothing else like you on TV, which makes you a fairly decent distraction.  Plus, just often enough to keep me roped in, you sometimes surprise me with a tiny little moment of brilliance.  The bad news is I’m not really into witches, and this season is allllll about ‘em.  So. We’ll see.

Thursday, October 10

onceuponwonderlandOnce Upon a Time in Wonderland — 8pm – ABC – Spin-off of Once Upon a Time, this time focusing on ye olde tales of Alice, the White Rabbit, and the Tweedles Dee and Dum.  I really enjoyed the first 8 or so episodes of the original, but then kind of drifted away and never felt like going back.  I appreciate how creative and unique it is, though, and this series may be both those things as well.  I’ve got too many other things on Thursdays to want to try to cram this in, but if it ends up getting good reviews and sticking around, I’ll catch up later on DVD.

Sunday, October 13

walkingdeadThe Walking Dead - 9pm – AMC – The interesting thing about zombies, for me anyway, is that they were once people just like us.  They still look like us, even.  In fact, some of them still look like us-es that we knew.  And so there is a built-in moral complexity to the zombie story that isn’t often found in stories involving other monstery things.  The Walking Dead, however, long, LONG ago ditched any semblance of that, or anything else truly thoughtful, for that matter, and now is pretty much all about blowing shit up and slaughtering huge masses of former people in a myriad of close-up and gruesome ways.  With all that room for story and so little story, I barely made it through last season.  If this season doesn’t start off with something better, I’ll be walking (alive).

Fall TV Week Two Part 3: Where’s Burt Reynolds When You Need Him?

September 27, 2013

Week two comes to a close!  We made it!  Only two more new shows launching here at the tail-end of week two, with a few more trailing in next week.  I’m heading out of town for the week next week, so may not get a post up.  You guys talk amongst yourselves, and I’ll be back to comment on stuff when I’m home.

Except! I saw Ironside and it was a massive disappointment.   I tell you what: trying to make a cop who doesn’t give a rip about anybody else’s civil rights the hero of your story is sort of losing its charm for me.  Plus, yawn.  I might try the second episode, but it’s only because I love Brent Sexton.

Friday, September 27

masterchefjunior_goodgodwerelettinghimtalktokidsMasterchef Junior – 8pm – FOX – Hold the phone.  We’re going to let Gordon Ramsay talk to CHILDREN?  Have we lost our minds?!

Undercover Boss – 8pm – CBS – Don’t watch, but it appears to involve a lot of happy crying, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Hawaii Five-0 - 9pm – CBS –  Season FOUR?  It seems like only yesterday this series launched and I only made it through half the pilot!

bluebloodsBlue Bloods – 10pm – CBS – I don’t watch this one, but it’s not for any good reason.  I just didn’t manage to catch on fast enough when it started and now I’m too far behind.  At some point, I will rent season one and jump in.  Double ex-BoTW cast: Donnie Wahlberg and Tom Selleck!

Sunday, September 29

onceuponatimeOnce Upon a Time –  8pm – ABC – I lasted about 7 episodes.  Maybe 8?   And then I found myself letting them pile up on the DVR and not ever having the urge to watch them (same thing with the last two episodes of Under the Dome, incidentally).  It’s not a bad show, it’s just not my thing, I guess.  I love how creative the concept is, though I was surprised to learn they’re already launching a spin-off, Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, which I have a feeling is going to end up being one Once Upon a Time too many for most people.  But what do I know?  I know nuthin’, is what.

The Amazing Race - 8pm – CBS – As I’ve said before, this show is really entertaining, and I cannot watch it because it gives me panic attacks.

The Simpsons – 8pm – FOX – This is still on?  Huh. Go figure.

bobsburgersBob’s Burgers - 8:30pm – FOX — Okay, Bob’s Burgers, people!  I had never even heard of this series until last year when a friend on Facebook started raving about it.  After he raved a couple more times, I finally checked out season one (streaming on Netflix), and it is HILARIOUS.  I only watched about 5 episodes and then I was kind of done, but I do plan on going back.  And twice so far, I’ve seen “Bob’s Burgers Live” on the marquee of the theater up the street, which, if I see it again, I will attempt to attend.

The Good Wife - 9pm – CBS – I’ve seen season one on DVD and it was good.  It’s just that it wasn’t quite good enough to get me to rent season two.

homelandHomeland - 9pm – Showtime – As William Faulkner once wrote, “And sure enough, even waiting will end. . . if you can just wait long enough.”  This is what I tell myself as I wait ENDLESSLY for shows like this to come out on DVD.  I’m just too cheap for premium channels, is the thing.  It’s my own damn fault, really.

Revenge - 9pm – ABC – Don’t watch, don’t know.

Family Guy – 9pm -FOX – Don’t watch, not a fan of talking babies of any sort.

American Dad – 9:30pm – FOX – Made by same guy as Family Guy, etc.

mentalistThe Mentalist – 10pm – CBS – Wait, this is still on?  Should I have been watching this? To be honest, I was too busy watching Psych make fun of The Mentalist to actually tune in for The Mentalist.  But maybe I should rethink that?

Betrayal – 10pm – ABC – In theory, this show is already boring me — blah blah blah two ridiculously beautiful people have a torrid extra-marital affair.  But then again, there’s also a murder case involved, and James Cromwell is wandering around in there somewhere too.  I’ll give the pilot a shot.

Eastbound & Down – 10pm – HBO – Eastbound and DOWN, Snowman!  Bandit out!  (Wait, this show isn’t about Smokey and the Bandit?  How is that possible? Somebody get Burt Reynolds on the phone immediately!)

Masters of Sex - 10pm –  Showtime – Another show I can’t watch, and perhaps would not want to anyway.  Even if I did, I could hardly admit it here, where my mom might see it — it has the word SEX in it, you guys! Sheesh!

helloladies_stephenmerchantHello Ladies – 10:30 – HBO – I don’t have any idea what this is about, aside from the bit where it’s a British fish out of water sort of story.  But it has Kevin Weisman in it (wheeee!!!!!) and therefore is already saved to my queue at Netflix.  (See above re: WAITING, ARGH.)

Fall TV Week Two Part 2: Return of the Returning Things

September 25, 2013

sleepyhollowQuick recap:  Sleepy Hollow‘s second episode sure seemed to annoy a lot of people!  Apparently, they didn’t like the parts of the episode that didn’t make sense historically.  The parts where it didn’t make any sense because it was about a guy who came back to life after 250 years in the ground because of a magic witch spell on the other hand. . . I rest my case.

I will say, however, that it sure would be nice of somebody to buy that poor fella a new outfit.  I’ve washed clothes in a hotel sink before — you can really only get away with that once, and I have a feeling that goes double for clothes that were underground for 250 years (yet oddly intact — it’s nice when the witch remembers to protect your duds from wear and tear too, isn’t it?  I bet The Hulk is jealous.)

I talked about Blacklist and the Hostages in Monday’s comments section, if you wanna read.

shieldAgents of SHIELD:  I loved it but I do have one complaint and it’s not the first time I’ve made it in response to a Joss Whedon project.  Everybody loves Joss Whedon’s dialogue — he’s the king of witty banter, right?  The problem is, you can’t make every character a clever, witty banter-er.  And they can’t speak in witty banter 85% of the time.  It starts out fun and funny, and ends up like this:  “Oh, shut up already. God.”

Also, I’m wondering if it makes the most sense to put the official logo of your secret-agent agency on all the vans your secret agents drive around town.  I’m just asking.  I still loved it.  I’m 100% on board.  I was just wondering.

Not a lot of new stuff coming out tonight and tomorrow night, but bunches of old stuff returns for a new season.  For better (Modern Family) or for worse (Two and a Half Men).  Here’s what’s up, buttercup.

Wednesday, September 25

revolutionRevolution – 8pm – NBC – I tried so hard to like this show, and then there was some kind of magic amulet or something, and I had to give up.  Anyway, it’s back and apparently the power is back on, so at least they can get online and order up some supplies from

The Middle – 8pm – ABC – Don’t watch, don’t know.  Enjoy.

backinthegame_needscropBack in the Game – 8:30pm – ABC – Wait, this has Maggie Lawson in it?  Does that mean she isn’t going to be on Psych anymore?  No!  Anyway, this is another “single mom has to move back in with her parents” sit-com, though at least this one includes James Caan and baseball jokes.  Not for me, but you go ahead — the only baseball joke I need is “Who’s on First.”

modernfamilyModern Family - 9pm – ABC – You know how a season or two ago, Lily aged about 4 years over a single summer, was given lines in the script, and was INCREDIBLY ANNOYING?  That was a bummer.  But I still love this show, so there.

Law & Order: SVU – 9pm – NBC – This is still on.  I’m still watching it.  I don’t know why.

Criminal Minds – 9pm – CBS – This is still on.  I’m still watching it.  I don’t know why.  . . I’m noticing a trend here.

Nashville - 10pm – ABC – Not my thing, but I do love Connie Britton.

csiCSI: Coke Classic- 10pm – CBS – The original is still the best, and Ted Danson totally revitalized it for me.  Is it the only one still on?  That’s probably for the best, though I did like seeing Gary “The Grump” Sinese every week on CSI:NY.

Thursday, September 26

parksrecParks and Recreation – 8pm – NBC – I’m still a couple of seasons behind on this show, but it’s hilarious so if you never tuned in, let this be the year you seek out season one.  It’s on Netflix.  And on DVD.  And all that.  And that one dude with the mustache is just friggin’ hilarious.  Seriously.  My husband will even watch this one, and he won’t watch much, my peoples. RINGING ENDORSEMENT!

bigbangtheoryThe Big Bang Theory - 8pm – CBS – Theoretically, this should be my favorite television show of all time.  But, as I’ve said before: laugh tracks!  I can’t stand ‘em!  What really needs to happen on Big Bang Theory is that one of the characters needs to hear the laughing and become comically confused, which cues more laughing, which cues more confusion, which cues more laughing.  And then this needs to continue in an endless loop until finally he throws his hands up and yells, “Impossible termination condition!” And then the episode ends.  When they do that, you let me know and I’ll start watching.

millersThe Millers8:30pm – CBS – I’m tuning in for this one because I love both reporters and Will Arnett, and in The Millers those two things have been rolled into one.  But I’m not expecting brilliance, and I’m still mad they canceled Up All Night, the end.

Glee – 9pm – FOX – I don’t watch this one, but I was still really sorry to hear about Cory Monteith.

mjfox_needscropThe Michael J. Fox Show – 9pm (2 episodes)- NBC – When I first learned of this series, my initial reaction was that it was a pity project that was going to make everybody uncomfortable.  But then I saw a preview, and now I’m kicking myself in the butt for being such a butt.  The last time I saw Fox, he was killin’ it on Rescue Me, so what was I thinking?  I wasn’t thinking.  I’m an idiot, and I can’t wait.

crazyonesThe Crazy Ones – 9pm – CBS – I can do weekly Sarah Michelle Gellar.  But I cannot do weekly Robin Williams.  Robin Williams is best experienced in small, sporadic dosages, in my experience, and starring in a sit-com is not how you go about that.  No, sir, it isn’t.

greysGrey’s Anatomy – 9pm – ABC – You know what’s funny?  After all these years of mocking this show because every other week there was a thunderstorm, which we really don’t get here all that often, we just spent an August getting thunderstorm after thunderstorm.  After thunderstorm.  Ha ha ha, NUTS.  I’m still not calling them “ferry boats” or “mocha lattes,” though.  I draw the line at weather.

Two and a Half Men – 9:30pm – CBS – Ugh.  Srsly?

parenthoodParenthood – 10pm – NBC – I’ve been watching this one since it launched, but honestly am not that jazzed about its return.  It might be totally great.  I’m sure it will be.  It’s just that I’m not that jazzed.  I can’t get jazzed about it.  There’s no jazz here.  Also: no pizazz, in case you were wondering.  But whatever, it’s fine.

elementaryElementary – 10pm – CBS – This show has a few flaws, primary among them being that it isn’t the Sherlock we actually want to see, it is merely the Sherlock we might as well see while we wait around (forever!) for the other one to return on BBC America.  Nevertheless, it grows on you over time.  And at least they dumped that stupid “sober companion” ruse.  That was getting in my way.  And now it isn’t.  Plus, Moriarty’s a chick!  That rulz!

The end until Friday!  Hit the comments with. . . er. . . comments!

Fall TV Week Two Part 1: Attack of the “Wait, This Is Still On?”s

September 23, 2013

tvset1Fall TV Week Two is the week of new- and returning-series onslaught, so I’ll be doing two days at a time instead of trying to cram the whole week into a single post.

Just as a quick update about last week’s stuff first, though.  There are two new shows still set to record on my DVR:  Sleepy Hollow and Brooklyn Nine Nine.  (Dads I didn’t last 30 seconds through due to a combination of insufferable inanity and the use of a laugh track.)

Brooklyn is not flawless, but it made me laugh out loud, which is not easy to do if you’re a sit-com.  I’ll keep it around a while at least.

sleepyhollowAs for Sleepy Hollow, I was actually pretty surprised by how much I enjoyed that one.  It’s silly and fun, though I have no idea how they are going to make it last a whole season, let alone multiple, when there’s only one bad guy and he seems to have a pretty limited agenda.

Then again, there was a scene in episode one in which Ichabod picked up a Book of Great Importance and said to the cop lady, “It is prophesied that we will be working together to destroy evil for seven years, because the dude who wrote this line in the script is a super-big optimist when it comes to pilot season ratings.”  So, you know, apparently there’s some kind of plan.

Whatever.  I’m game until I’m not game anymore, whenever that might be.  Here’s what’s coming up today and tomorrow.  WEEK TWO IS GO!

Monday, September 23

how-i-met-your-motherHow I Met Your Mother – 8pm (CBS) — Wait, this is still on? I feel like this has been on for one bajillion years.

The Voice – 8pm (NBC) — This one just won an Emmy last night, I have heard, but I’m still not taking on another singing competition series.  I can only take just so much singing, and even then, only when it’s me and I’m in the car.

2 Broke Girls- 9pm (CBS) — Wait, THIS is still on?  This survived a first AND a second season?  My head hurts.

momMom - 9:30pm (CBS) — This new sitcom is about a single mother who, after going into recovery for alcoholism, moves to a new town and tries to stay sober while raising her two kids and interacting with her passive-aggressive mother.  There’s only one reason to try this series, and that reason is Allison Janney.  And even there, I am dubious.  I don’t know.  I’ll think about it. (Incidentally, whatever you do, don’t Google the phrase “Mom series,” unless you’re a fan of “sexy cougar sex pics.” I regret that Google search with all my heart.)

hostagesHostages – 10pm (CBS) — Toni Collette!  That’s all I need to know!  (Plotwise, this one is about a mom whose family is taken hostage by a rogue FBI agent who wants her to assassinate the president.  Dylan McDermott is the rogue agent, which means there will be a lot of furious ranting and facial grimacing.  He’s SUPER good at that, though, so count me in.)

blacklistThe Blacklist – 10pm (NBC) — This show has generated a lot of positive buzz in the weeks leading up to tonight’s premiere.  It’s about an ex-government agent (James Spader) who has gone into private practice, brokering deals for criminals around the globe.  There’s an FBI team trying to git ‘im.  And something about a terrorist, because THIS is AMERICA.  I’m not a huge fan of Old Weird James Spader, but I’ll definitely be giving this one a shot.

Castle – 10pm (ABC) — This is still on, and you have Nathan Fillion’s nose to thank for it.  (It says “You’re welcome.”)

Tuesday, September 24

ncisNCIS – 8pm (CBS) — Thankfully, NCIS returns to us this year sans agent Ziva “I Speak Perfect English Except When It’s Funnier If I Don’t” David.  Who will replace her?   You know what would be awesome?  A female version of McGee.  A McGirl.  Or a librarian.  Or me, is what I’m saying.  ME.  I have a feeling that won’t be the direction they go in, but one never knows.

shieldMarvel’s Agents of SHIELD – 8pm (ABC) — You know how last week I said Sleepy Hollow was the only new TV show I was excited about?  I lied!  Because I totally forgot about this one!  This new Joss Whedon series follows Agent Phil Coulson, last seen in the movie The Avengers, as he puts together a select group of other agents and they investigate a bunch of weird stuff.  I don’t know.  I don’t even care.  All I know is that I love Joss Whedon and I love Clark Gregg, and I’m pretty much game for whatever they want to do with this one.  Bring it ON.

NCIS: Los Angeles – 9pm (CBS) — Wait, seriously? I’m being serious now.  THIS IS STILL ON?  Who’s watching this? Cut it out!  This show is terrible!

goldbergsThe Goldbergs – 9pm (ABC) — I don’t need to watch a show about an adorable 80s family, I LIVED IT.

Trophy Wife – 9:30pm (ABC) — Almost as appealing to me as Cougar Town, which is to say: not at all, and for many of the same reasons.

lucky7Lucky 7 – 10pm (ABC) — This drama is about a group of people who win the lottery together and have to deal with the fallout in their personal lives.  You know, just like NBC’s Windfall in 2006, only minus Luke Perry which: good luck, ABC.

Person of Interest – 10pm (CBS) — Wait, this show is still on?  Something-something-Jim-Caviezel-argh.

chicagofireChicago Fire – 10pm (NBC) — Firemen are awesome.  But I didn’t make it through two episodes of this show last year and I’ll tell you why: you just can’t go from Rescue Me to Chicago Fire.  It can’t be done.  Once you go Rescue Me, there’s just no going back.  And there’s not a thing I can do about it, I’m sorry.

Fangasm – 10pm (Syfy) — As a rule, I’m against all things “-gasm” or “-gate,” but beyond that, this show sounds pretty dumb.  It’s a reality program about a bunch of pop culture nerds living in an apartment together and working for Stan Lee.  I don’t know.  You watch it.  I’ll be over here not watching it.  Stan Lee, cut it out, you goob.

Check back Wednesday for more!  And if you have any opinions about any of these or last week’s newbies, hitten zee comments!

Fall TV, Week One — Bones, Ghosts, Nerds, and Situation Comedy Up the Ying

September 16, 2013

Fall TV is here!  It’s here!  What will suck!  What will not suck!  What will suck yet somehow manage not to get canceled? What will not suck and never make it past episode three?  (Answer to that last one: anything I like.)

Here’s what’s coming up this week:

Monday the 16th

bonesBones – FOX – 8pm — Oh, Bones.  This show is fine — it’s totally fine.  I enjoy it when I tune in.  But I confess at this point, I’m kind of out of enthusiasm (well, not at this point — it was at a previous point.  I’m merely reporting the point now. The point has now been reported).  I have the same problem with Brennan that I have with Ziva on NCIS, which is their willfully persistent ignorance of American idioms and/or pop culture.  How many years do you have to be hanging out with a Booth or a DiNozzo before you start to catch on?  Honestly.  Just catch on already.  Or not, in the case of Ziva, who is being replaced on NCIS this season.  More on that later!

nyeDancing with the Stars – ABC – 8pm – Okay, I NEVER watch this show. Why watch a pack of rookies and B-list actors stumble their way through a bunch of ballroom when you could be watching the incredible, AMAZING kids on FOX’s So You Think You Can Dance?  That said, BILL NYE is on this season.  BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!  That might be worth tuning in for, at least for the first episode.  I cannot imagine that skinny, goofy nerd will make it past the opening round.  Unless . . . can you use knowledge of physics to your advantage when you’re dancing?  It seems like you ought to be able to.  In that case, this could be very interesting.  Bring your pencils and calculators and a sheet or two of graph paper, fans.  We’ll get it figured out for you, Bill.  Just hang in there and try not to look at your feet!

sleepyhollowSleepy Hollow – FOX – 9pm — Okay, so.  This is the only new show I’m super excited to see this year.  Why?  Because there is almost NO WAY this show is not going to be terrible.  At first, I was excited because I thought it was going to be set in the original Irving story era, which would be really different and cool.  Then I was annoyed and disappointed to discover that, instead, Ichabod Crane gets frozen for 250 years, thaws out, and is all, “OMG, I don’t know anything about technology or modern idioms, but now I must solve crimes!”  THEN I realized:  it sort of sounds like the bastard child of a perverted three-way between Life on Mars, Supernatural, and Encino Man. Whiiiiich brings me right back to: “there is almost NO WAY this show is not going to be terrible.” In other words, I  CANNOT WAIT!

Tuesday the 17th

dadsDads – Fox – 8pm — Seth Green, Giovanni Ribisi, Martin Mull, and Peter Riegert are all in a TV show together? I don’t even know what to do with this information, it has so blown my mind. If this sit-com is good, it could be really, really good.  The problem is, sit-coms are almost never really, really good, and this show has already been dinged in the press more than once for being asshatty about, like, any type of person who isn’t a white male American. I feel like I at least have to watch the pilot — it’s Peter Riegert, people (THE PICKLE MAN!) — but I will be braced for the worst.  In fact, I’m going to start bracing now just to make sure by tomorrow I’m all shored up.

ninenineBrooklyn Nine-Nine – Fox – 8:30pm — Adam Samberg, Dean Winters, and Andre Braugher are in a TV show together?  WHAT IS HAPPENING?  This sit-com, set in a police precinct, has been getting pretty good press so far.  Cocky detective!  New boss!  What could possibly go wrong?  Man.  I guess this means I’m trying TWO new sit-coms this season.  I’m exhausted from not laughing already.

newgirlNew Girl – Fox – 9pm — I only just started watching season one of this sit-com (another one!) about a month ago on Netflix, after over a year of my sister telling me I really ought to give it a try.  The problem was Deschanel, who is in the top five of my list of “Most Annoying Actresses of All Time.”  AND YET.  I love this show!  She’s fine — she’s a little too cute, but she’s fine — but Jake Johnson, hubba hubba.  Watch for impending Boyfriend write-up, because there’s just no way to stop that from happening.

The Mindy Project – Fox – 9:30pm — Look, I’m sure it’s great.  But I can’t do another one.  I’m all sit-commed out.  Someday: DVD.  That’s what’s great about the modern era, Ichabod.

Wednesday the 18th

Survivor – CBS – 8pm — Good God, this is still on?  WHEN WILL IT END?  It’s like the ER of reality television!

Friday the 20th

lastmanLast Man Standing – ABC – 8pm — Apparently this show has been on since 2011 and I’ve never heard of it.  Only, of course I’ve heard of it — I probably blogged about in both 2011 and 2012.  And that’s really all I need to say about this one, I think.

theneighborsThe Neighbors – ABC – 8pm — We’re supposed to be surprised that gated communities in New Jersey are full of aliens trying to pass as actual human beings?  Ha!  What a farce!  Who else would live there?  Use your brains, people.

Okay, that’s it for Intro Week of Fall TV!  Next week is the onslaught, so I may break the update into more manageable chunks for better clip-and-save.  Now tell me:  What shows are you looking forward to seeing again or anew?  Is anyone but me going to watch Sleepy Hollow?

Fall TV Coming Soon!

September 10, 2013

soaIt’s nearly here!  Fall TV season! Wheeeee!

In fact, it kind of starts tonight, if you’re a fan of the FX series Hamlet on Harleys. (Okay, okay, technically it’s named Sons of Anarchy, but you know what I’m saying. )

SoA returns for its final season tonight, and I tell you what, I am ready.  For it to end!  I can’t stop watching Sons of Anarchy, but I have desperately wanted to for about 2 seasons now.  Here’s hoping Jax finally quits acting quite so much like Hamlet, Prince of Dithering, and starts acting a bit more like, say, I don’t know.  . . Let’s go with Harry Truman. For better or for worse.

Also, just FYI!  Book reviews may be on a bit of a hiatus this fall, as my plan is to make my way through all 3 volumes of Shelby Foote’s The Civil War: A Narrative series at long last.  That’s exactly 2,847 pages, my friends.  It may be a while.  We’ll see if I can make it through McClellan’s Pennsylvania campaign without throwing the book aside in disgust (talk about the prince of dithering!).

Check back next Monday for the official launch of Fall TV!  The crisp in the air!  The crap on the tube!  It’s going to be a fine autumn!

Fall TV Update: October 10-16

October 11, 2012

So, let’s see, where were we?  Oh yes, talking about new TV.  We’re winding down the fall launch season, with only a few new shows still to come, three of which hit tonight.  So far, I have to confess, I haven’t ended up keeping much of the new stuff in the ol’ DVR program.  I thought after the pilot that Last Resort might be the keeper, but then I’ve had the second episode sitting around for two weeks now with no real interest to return to it — that can’t be a good sign.  And Elementary?  Okay, maybe Elementary for a little while longer, but man, it needs to stop talking down to the audience or I’ll have to quit on principle.

Perhaps something still to come will be The One.  Here’s what’s coming up new in the next week or so (I’ll be out of town until mid-week next week, so I’m giving you Tuesday’s newbie here as well):

Wednesday, October 10

Arrow — 8pm (CW) — “Based on characters appearing in comic books and graphic novels by DC Comics”:  I’m pretty sure that’s all that needs saying about this one.  You’ll know from that sentence whether or not this will be your thing.  Well, either from that sentence or the picture of that dude’s abs.  Mrrowl.

Chicago Fire — 10pm (NBC) — This show is probably going to be absolutely TERRIBLE.  My only hope is that it’s absolutely terrible in a really fun sort of way.  Which could happen!  Starring Jesse Spencer from House and Eamonn Walker from Oz doesn’t hurt its chances either, if you ask me.  Plus, in the middle of countless hospital and cop shows, it’s nice to see something a little different.  Been a while since we had a series about firefighters on network television (Third Watch is the last one I can remember).  And firefighters are frequently handsome devils, especially TV firefighters.  “Handsome devils” will take you a long, long way with me.  As well you all know.

Nashville — 10pm (ABC) — This one looks like good old fashioned cheesy soap opera fun, set in the country music world.  That sentence, too, is probably all you need to know in order to determine your plan on this one.  I’ll be DVRing it, and then watching it with one finger over the mute button just in case.  (Singing: argh.)

Thursday, October 11

Vampire Diaries — 8pm (CW) —  TEAM JACOB.

Beauty and the Beast — 9pm (CW) — Homicide detective who looks way too young to be a homicide detective falls in love with a doctor  who looks way too young to be a doctor AND turns into a terrifying RAGE BEAST whenever he gets mad about something.  Yep, it’s the CW, all right.

Monday, October 15

The Walking Dead — 10pm (AMC) — Argh.  I can’t go on.  I won’t go on.  I must go on.  I will go on.  Sigh.

Tuesday, October 16

Emily Owens, MD – 9pm (CW) — At least in this one, the doctor looks like she’s old enough to be a doctor (it’s Mamie Gummer, from last year’s series doctors-in-the-jungle series Off the Map, which I was enjoying, I confess).  But then again, we ARE talking about the CW here, and their demographic does not include my demographic.  For a reason.  It’s hard for people my age (ripe old 38) to stomach inanity.  We burn out on inanity right around age 32, right, ladies?  And CW shows tend to have an AWFUL lot of really dumb romantic plot lines and characters who say and do incredibly silly things.  That said, I watched the first ten minutes or so of this one online last night and didn’t hate it, and I really like Mamie Gummer, so I’m game for giving it a shot.  WE SHALL SEE.  Maybe a little silly in my week isn’t such a bad thing?

Nuthin’ New This Week!

October 3, 2012

Oh, hey, there isn’t anything new starting up this week on the tube, I just realized.  Merely a few returns:  Hart of Dixie and Raising Hope last night, Supernatural tonight, and 30 Rock tomorrow night. New stuff comes back next week, so I’ll have more to say about dat dem stuffs den.

As for Supernatural: I gave up SupeNatch early last season when it became clear they were STILL going to be doing the damn angel war thing.  Holy tedium, Batman!  If that storyline is finally over and done with and we’re back to monster-of-the-week episodes, somebody let me know?  I’d be willing to dive back in for that, and that alone.  If not, I’ll just rewatch the early years whenever I need a Winchester Bros. fix.  Which is still surprisingly often.  Or perhaps not so surprisingly often, considering:  humina humina.

Aside from that, I have naught else to report.  (Except for the eight book and movie reviews I’m behind on.  TRA LA!)

Comment fodder:  What, if any, of the new shows have you decided to stick with a little longer?  So far, I’m still watching Revolution (though I am not paying terribly close attention and it’s probably going to disappear from my DVR shortly if it doesn’t pick up soon) and I’m game for episode 2 this week of Vegas (surprisingly enough).  That Animal Practice sit-com with the monkey, though?  OH HOLY HELL.  I didn’t last 6 minutes.  What about youse dudes?


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