Don’t Poke the Bear – Comment Moderation Policy

I’m leaving for Halifax on Sunday to go to a conference for librarians and will be giving a talk at said conference about comment moderation policies on blogs.

Figured that probably meant I better draft an official comment moderation policy myself, ha ha ha whoops! But you guys know the policy already, really, and this isn’t a problem that comes up that often on this blog. The only time I’ve had to delete a LOT of comments (not counting spam) was when I started getting death threats on my review of Equilibrium (there’s still a sample death threat in that comment thread serving as an example of what not to do, by the way). Other than that, it almost never comes up at all.

In essence, my moderation policy can be summed up by the displayed graphic.

By which I mean:  Don’t be a jackass.  You can argue, debate, converse, chat, go off-topic (I especially love off-topic movie quote wars, as well you know), whatever you want, and you can do it until the cows come home.  But if you start being intentionally and gratuitously mean, you’ll be getting the boot.

If I ever do delete your post and you’ve provided a legitimate email address, I will contact you to let you know I’ve done so and why, and give you the opportunity to reassess what you wanted to say and post it again.  If you have to be consistently deleted for jackassery and intentionally trying to Poke the Bear (me), your comment privileges will be suspended.

I also charge 25 cents in overdue fines per day.  So, watch it!

Everybody cool?  Good.  Now I can tell my audience next week that I, too, have a comments policy!  Go me!

Incidentally, I may not be posting much on the blog between now and then, as I’m busy getting ready to go out of town, not to mention busy learning the symptoms of the swine flu JUST IN CASE.  But I’m hoping to get a new Boyfriend up while I’m in Halifax, since I’m anticipating a lot of jet lag and many quiet evenings in a hotel room alone.  You’ll like him.  I promise.

Check Out the New Header for the Blog

What you think? S’aright? S’okay? Maybe it should stay blue to better match the BotW site? Maybe a picture of me being all librarian n’ shite doesn’t really make sense? Did I mention I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to graphic design?

If MacGyver Were Star Wars, and Vice Versa

This is awesome (thanks for passing it along, Melissa)!  It’s frankly quite uncanny how well this works!  Geek heaven!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C54yPPiQMfw

BOOK: Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane.

This is the first Dennis Lehane novel I ever read — way back in May of 2003. I remembered being really entertained by it, so I recommended it to my husband recently when he got hooked on Lehane’s Patrick Kenzie series and ran out of installments to read. He loved this one too, so I decided it was about time I reread it, having mostly forgotten all its intricacies. After I was done, I went back to reread my original review of this novel, though, and was pretty surprised to find I had been really pissed about its ending back then in 2003. In my defense, that was right about the time I saw the movie Identity, I think, and the two have somewhat similar denouements, which was not a plus when it came to Shutter Island. I was already irritated by that conceit, and I’m sure stumbling into it AGAIN at the end of this otherwise-fantastic novel was pretty infuriating.

This time around, oddly enough, I was still sort of disappointed when I realized anew where Lehane was taking his characters, but it didn’t seem to bother me as much as it had originally.  Go figure.

The story, by the way, is about two cops who have been sent to Shutter Island, the location of an asylum for the criminally insane, to investigate the disappearance of one of the institution’s patients. Only, once they get to the island, they start to discover there’s a whole lotta crazy stuff going on there, and it’s not all the work of the inmates.

The ending is a bit cheeseorama, if you ask me. But at the same time, it sort of works too. In even better news, I recently learned this book is being turned into a film that will be directed by Martin Scorsese and star Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo, and Leonardo DiCaprio. With a crew like that, I have a feeling it’s going to be a pretty entertaining ride. Looking forward to it! And if you’ve never read a Lehane novel, this might not be a bad one to start with. He’s hands-down one of the best dialogue writers I’ve seen in a long time, and for that skill alone, he’s worth a read.

[MYSTERY]

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MOVIE: My Name is Bruce (2008)

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes fun of Bruce Campbell better than Bruce Campbell.  And that’s why I loved this movie, directed by Bruce Campbell and starring Bruce Campbell as Bruce Campbell making fun of Bruce Campbell in a film entitled My Name is Bruce [Campbell], so very, very much.

The plot of this movie — we’ll pretend the plot actually matters for a moment — focuses on a small town that has accidentally unleashed an ancient Chinese baddie named Guan-Di (“Guan-You, Guan-Me, Guan-Di!”) that now threatens to wipe out their population.  Confusing Bruce Campbell the Man with Bruce Campbell the Action Movie Badass, the town kidnaps Bruce off the set of Cave Alien 2 and begs him to help them defeat Guan-Di.  At first Bruce thinks it’s some kind of joke.  But then Guan-Di shows up, and, well, as the man himself says, “You know Jeff, I’ve gotten a lot of use out of chainsaws over the years. . .”

What makes this movie so much fun to watch, though, is the fact you can tell immediately that everybody is having an absolute blast putting this one together, especially Bruce Campbell.  The acting is intentionally hammy and awful, the story is ridiculous, Guan-Di himself is laughably silly-looking, and oh man, the Bruce Campbell jokes.  They just do not EVER stop coming.

Can’t recommend this one to fans of The Chin highly enough.  I can virtually guarantee you this one will be showing up on my Top Ten Movies Seen in 2009 list this December, too.  “You don’t like Bruce, you walk!”

GENIUS!

[Netflix me | Buy me]

Genre:  Horror, Comedy
Cast:  Bruce Campbell stars as. . . BRUCE CAMPBELL!

MOVIE: Religulous (2008)

For the life of me, I can’t remember which review I read of this movie that made me want to see it.  After I watched this documentary about religion this weekend, I went back to the usual suspects to try to track down the one I so vividly remembered reading.  The one that told me this was not a movie that made fun of religious people, but instead one where Maher very respectfully asked interesting and thoughtful questions  about why so many people on this planet believe the various things they believe in.

But, I couldn’t find that review, whatever it was.  Ebert, Entertainment Weekly — had I read those, I would’ve had more of a clue going into this that it was actually a snarkfest more than an open-minded exploration.  My husband snorted when I expressed displeasure at this — it’s a BILL MAHER movie, so what did I expect?  But honestly?  What I didn’t expect was a Michael Moore movie.  And that’s kind of what I got.

In this film, Maher goes around talking to a wide variety of people about religion.  Everybody from Christian truckers, to two priests at the Vatican (who I totally want to make Boyfriends of the Week now, by the way — that’s how cool they were), to a scientist who specializes in the fascinating (to me, anyway)  field of “neurotheology,” to two ex-Mormons, to a “Jew for Jesus,” etc. etc.   And yes, I laughed out loud a LOT during this movie.  And I understood the points Maher was trying to make.  And he makes a lot of very good ones.

However, just like with Michael Moore’s films, I found that Maher’s good points about religion were way, way overshadowed by the fact he was only pretending to be open-minded and “curious” about the people he was talking to, and as soon as he was out of ear-shot, he let his judgments flow.  He would snark at their beliefs behind their backs, substitute fake captions that made people look (and feel, I’m sure, once they watched the film) extremely stupid, and he also very, very carefully selected the people he talked to, making sure their beliefs would fit neatly into his preconceived notions about religion (i.e. that it’s all equally ridiculous).

He didn’t pick, for example, Christians who were thoughtful and questioning of their religion’s dogma and whether or not the Bible should be interpreted literally.  Like, say, the numerous Christians who have decided that Creation and evolution don’t make sense when put side-by-side, and have spent quite a bit of time studying both ideas and working out a way the two can coexist in a fairly logical manner.

Instead, Maher focuses on the Christians who think dinosaurs and man coexisted, and, just in case we still don’t get it, repeats his point over and over that their beliefs are completely irrational (not to mention wholly unoriginal, which was actually one of the parts of this film I found the most interesting).

Maher also sabotages his own movie by tossing into the final act a Dutch guy who has created a “religion” around marijuana.  The guy had no actual dogma — he essentially just gets stoned and calls his pad a “church.”  Maher spends a lot of time with him as though he is actually representative of some type of organized religion.  But in reality, it seemed pretty obvious to me that this was just a gimmick to get the film to The Netherlands, where he could track down some Muslims and make fun of their beliefs too.  (Why look for Muslims in the Netherlands, you wonder?  Because of Theo Van Gogh’s murder:  http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2004-11-02-filmmaker-killed_x.htm.)

I dismissed that marijuana church scene just like I dismissed the one in Moore’s film Bowling for Columbine, where Moore tries to demonstrate how violent and idiotic Charlton Heston is by confronting him almost viciously, even though Heston was suffering from Alzheimer’s and was clearly confused and unsteady.   That’s not playing fair — that’s playing up.

So, yes, this movie has some interesting things to say about religion.  Just like Moore’s movies have had interesting things to say about gun violence, the healthcare system, and etc.  And yes, it’s also very, very funny at times.

But the problem I have with movies like this is that as soon as you cross the line from “documentary” to “mockery,” you invalidate your position from my perspective.  These movies preach ONLY to the choir — they present the information their intended audience already accepts, and that is as far as they go.  Where a reasoned examination of religion might have the power to change or at least open minds, this movie merely has the power to invoke one of two emotions:  “right on!” assent or outright fury.

Neither one of these two emotions lends itself well to reasoned discourse.

Disappointing, to say the least.  It did lead me to make up a new film genre for this site, though:  Snarkumentary.  I suppose that is not worth nothing.

[Netflix me | Buy me]

Genre: Snarkumentary
Cast:  Bill Maher, lots of religious people, some marijuana

Joss Whedon on the future of Dollhouse. Sort of.

This cracked me up today.  These two articles are based on the same exact remarks given by Joss Whedon at the recent Paley Festival in regards to the future of his series Dollhouse (which, incidentally, just got badassedly entertaining about three episodes ago).

LA Times:
Joss Whedon: Chances of a ‘Dollhouse’ renewal are ‘not very good’

Zap2It:
Joss Whedon tells Paley Fest fans that ‘Dollhouse’ season 2 is a total possibility

God bless the American media.  They sure keep things interesting.  (p.s. Thanks to Alisa for bringing the LA Times version to my attention!)

In other recent Boyfriend-related news, Josh Holloway just became a father.  And Mark Ruffalo is going to be starring in the upcoming movie version of the awesome Dennis Lehane novel Shutter Island, which I read for the first time a few years ago and loved, and am in the process of rereading right now.  Great story, AND the movie version will be directed by Martin Scorcese and costar Leonardo Dicaprio and Ben Kingsley.  Sign me up!

Anybody else have any Boyfriends in the News news to report?  Hit the comments, yo!

BOOK: A Drink Before the War by Dennis Lehane.

After having recently read our first-ever book in Lehane’s Patrick Kenzie series, Prayers for Rain, both my husband and I are totally hooked on his stuff (we were already fans of his episodes of the terrific cop series The Wire, and also of the films Mystic River and Gone, Baby, Gone). This novel is actually the first in the series and while Mr. Meg loved it, I have to confess Mrs. Meg was actually just a tiny bit underwhelmed. That is, the story and characters are great — brilliant, even. But it really felt like a “first novel” to me, a concept Mr. Meg seemed confused by. Possibly because he doesn’t read very many novels to begin with (he’s a non-fiction guy, mostly) (nerd).

That said, a “first novelish” Lehane novel is still worlds above most of the other crime fiction you’ll stumble across out there, so definitely put this one, and the entire Kenzie series for that matter, in your to-read pile. This installment introduces us to the characters of Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro, two long-time South Boston buddies who have opened up a private investigator’s office in a local church belfry. When this book begins, Angela is actually married to someone else (an abusive jerk, as a matter of fact), so the two are not dating yet (like in later books). But they have great sexual tension, which is almost as much fun, and are both really vividly-drawn characters with loads of personality (I also confess to a moderate crush on their sidekick, Bubba, for reasons I don’t quite understand).

Their first case is brought to them by a local politician, who wants to hire them to find a cleaning lady who has stolen some “documents” and then disappeared. Only, once Patrick and Angela find her, they discover all is not quite what it seems. Their continued investigation leads them deep into the worlds of political corruption and child pornography, and ultimately ends in a massive gang war that takes out dozens of people city-wide. Lots of rough and tumble action, snappy dialogue, and intensity abounds. The one flaw I’d say it had is that it could’ve used some serious tightening up in a few places — places where I started to feel bogged down in conversations between some of the characters that had no real direct application to the storyline or even to their own development. That’s where the book started to feel a little n00bish to me. Other than that, though, this is a gripping read, and definitely one I highly recommend to fans of gritty crime fiction.

[MYSTERY]

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MOVIES: Five in 5-7-5

Okay, look, I’m way behind on movie reviews, and the reason I’m way behind on movie reviews is because I keep watching GOOD movies instead of BAD movies, and writing about good movies is kind of boring.  Once in a while, it can be fun.  But more than three in a row is, like, absolute torture.

To reset things a bit, I’m now going to review five decent-to-good movies for you using only haiku.  Then we can get back to the crappy movies, which are just a heck of a lot more entertaining to say stuff about.  (Tip: If you want a real plot description, click on the “Netflix me” link and you can find one there.)

The Changeling (2008)
Drama
Angelina Jolie (looking sad and red-lipsticked), Jeffrey Donovan (channeling Gabrielle Anwar’s really bad Irish accent from S1 of Burn Notice), John Malkovich (NOT playing a dick for a change).  Directed by ex-BoTW Clint Eastwood.

Based on a true tale –
I really wish it had been
A half-hour shorter.
[Netflix me]

Milk (2008)
Drama
Sean Penn (is amazing), James Franco (is skinny), Emile Hersch (is wearing the same glasses I had in 1983), Diego Luna (is going to break your heart), Josh Brolin (is really, really talented).

I cannot believe
We are still having these same
Damn rallies (we suck).
[Netflix me]

Doubt (2008)
Drama (based on play)
Phillip Seymour Hoffman (is creepy from scene one), Meryl Streep (is totally overrated in this), Amy Adams (is cute, but isn’t she kinda always?)

Everyone loved it.
I thought the acting was good
But the plot was meh.
[Netflix me]

Tell No One (2008)
Drama, Foreign (French with English subtitles, sorry, Lizzie)
Francois Cluzet (my God, it’s Bob from French Kiss!), Kristen Scott Thomas (speaks French sort of oddly, but is cute about it)

When this one ended
I thanked the screenwright aloud
For his new ending.
[Netflix me (available for Watch Now)]

The Secret Life of Bees (2008)
Drama
Dakota Fanning (tween), Queen Latifah (queen), Paul Bettany (mean)

Sure, it is cheesy.
Who cares, when it stars The Queen?
She is teh awesome.
[Netflix me]

BOOK: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

I’m actually jumping ahead a bit in book reviews, because I read the novel The Reader (Bernhard Schlink) before I read this novel and I haven’t reviewed it yet. Actually, let’s just review it in a nutshell and get it out of the way:  Man, I’m glad I wasn’t a young, single, illiterate woman living in Germany during the 1940′s. The Reader is a bummer of massive proportions.  [FICTION]  Annnnnd, done!

Now, here’s the thing:  I would’ve taken more time with that review, but I was just alerted this morning to a news story about a New Orleans man who is recovering in the hospital after a stranger came up to him in his yard, ranted and raved a bit, and then bit a chunk of flesh out of the poor guy’s arm and swallowed it.

If you’ve seen as many zombie movies as I have, you know this means one thing and one thing only: the zombie apocalypse is nigh! This is how it always starts, after all  — with a random news story that at first glance just looks like an isolated incident of crazy. But soon we’ll see a similar report. And then another. And the next thing you know, we’ll be surrounded by the walking dead. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m heading to WalMart this afternoon to buy a shotgun and some Power Bars. I plan on being ready.

And, thanks to this BRILLIANT work of literary fiction, I’m more prepared than ever for World War Z. Fans of the original Austen novel should consider this a must-read — if only because it’s almost exactly the original Austen novel, but way, way more fun. Instead of sitting around writing angsty letters and taking leisurely walks in the countryside, Elizabeth and her sisters periodically get to wield axes and kick some mean zombie butt.  Genius!  I’ve long said that almost every story could be made better with the addition of zombies, and Grahame-Smith has finally proven me correct. This book is absolutely hilarious and perfect — I couldn’t have written it better myself.

But even more important than its entertainment value is its EDUCATIONAL value. And in light of today’s news report, I think it’s more important than ever that we all take some time to learn whatever we can about the undead. The zombies are coming, people.  They may already be here.

Read it, learn it, live it.

And remember: AIM FOR THE HEAD.

[FICTION, HORROR]

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