Oh thank heaven – the longest 217 days of my life are finally OVER! Tomorrow night at 9pm Battlestar Galactica returns to the Sci-Fi Network with its much-anticipated last call. PLEASE DON’T SUCK, BSG4.5!! I’m begging you! Man, it could so totally suck. I really hope it doesn’t so totally suck. DON’T SUCK! JUST AGREE NOT TO DO IT! JUST PLAN RIGHT NOW FOR A TOTAL LACK OF SUCKAGE! We’ll all be so much the better for it. Srsly.
In other TV news, I’ll be tuning in to A&E tonight for ex-Boyfriend Patrick Swayze’s new show, The Beast, which is about undercover feebies. What I’ve heard so far is that Swayze is excellent (or at least trying very hard to be excellent, which is close enough), but the show itself is terrible. But, hey, you know what? Even if it’s the worst thing I’ve seen since the pilot of Private Practice, I’ll still be watching EVERY SINGLE EPISODE WITHOUT FAIL.
Swayze was recently hospitalized again and, a couple of weeks ago, announced publicly that his doctor says he has fewer than two years to live before his pancreatic cancer takes him down. Press photos and TV ads for his new show are depressing — frankly, he looks just like a guy dying from pancreatic cancer (I speak from experience, unfortunately). I’m pretty doubtful he’ll make it to one year, let alone two. So, in the spirit of long-term affection for the man, I’m really hoping his last project doesn’t totally tank, and will be making it my goal to tune in weekly. It may be the last time any of us ever see Patrick Swayze, and that alone makes it worth sitting down for. In my humble and saddened opinion.
Coming up next week is Tim Roth (AKA Guildenstern, see photo, stage left) in FOX’s new series, Lie to Me. It debuts next Wednesday at 9pm and is about a guy who is an expert in what I believe is called “kinesics” (if I’m remembering Jeffery Deaver’s Kathryn Dance novels correctly). Kinesics is the art of human lie detecting. In other words, Roth’s character can tell if you are lying from the way you hold your body or your face, the direction in which you fidget, the number of times you lick your lips and say, “Ummmmm, yeah,” whether or not you rub your nose, and, always the deadest of dead-giveaways, whether or not you attempt to convince him that your name is “Gary Oldman.”
Seriously, don’t even try it. Those two go way back (see photo, stage now-up-and-to-the-left).
Also back (last week — sorry!) are Psych and Monk on USA and Nip/Tuck on FX, which I’m only watching at this point so I can see just how utterly ridiculous it’ll have to get before it gets canceled (answer: so far, pretty damn ridiculous and no end in sight. Go figure.).
And coming up at the end of the month (Jan 26th) is The Closer (woo hoo!) and another new TNT series, Trust Me, that I’m planning to watch solely because it stars two handsome devils (Eric McCormack and ex-Boyfriend Tom Cavanagh). It’s about. . . uh. . . I forget. An ad agency or something. I’m sure it’ll be terrible, but am hoping I’ll at least get to see McCormack without his shirt on before I give up on the whole shebang and delete the timer from my DVR.
What did I miss? Anything?